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#46327 09/19/07 03:06 AM
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So... what do you think? Do you want more?
Meh...I'm easy. Whatever. If you want to post more, I'll probably read it, but then again if you're not keen that's cool, too.

:: long pause while crickets chirp and everyone considers what kind of freakish bizarro world that response is likely to happen in... ::

What are you, some kind of crazy, nutso woman?! dizzy

Of course I want more! This is a great start, DJ. I especially love those end lines - himself. Ooooh - chills down the spine! Can't wait to see Mad Dog and Clark track down the miscreant.

Let's go, girl!

LabRat smile



Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.


The Musketeers
#46328 09/19/07 03:43 AM
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LOL Labby! My sentaments exactly! More! Now! Laura


Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”

Caroline's "Stardust"
#46329 09/19/07 05:35 AM
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Oooh, once I saw the "dark" warning, I got happy. I can't _not_ ccomment on a fic that has one of my two favorite labels. smile

I like the reflection here:

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Clark frowned sadly. He hadn’t wanted things to end that way. It would have been nice having a... a what? A brother? That was about the closest analogy he could make. But the clone had been dying. He had been in pain. And he had asked Clark to destroy him. So Clark had obliged.
So we have the loneliness thing where even though the clone was a drip, he was still someone like Clark. I can see why he'd feel some attachment or want to. And of course, I like my Clark angsty, which makes me really appreciate his meditation on how unpleasant it was to see the clone die.

This makes me suspicious:

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His body felt strangely lethargic for having finally gotten a good night’s sleep. It was the first time in a long time that he had slept so well or for so long.
Hmm. I do hope he did it. That would be awesome, just for how he himself would react to it. I mean it is really scary when you're not completely in control of your actions. In some ways, that's his biggest nightmare...and if it's coming true...*shudder* And then of course, throw Lois into the mix...

But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself and it is another clone or something.

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He would never knowingly hurt her. She felt safe with him in a way that she wasn’t sure she could ever feel with any normal guy.
Keyword "knowingly"--it just screams at me, but maybe that's just me. That whole segment is interesting because it has me wondering just when Lois' infatuation turned into something legit, taking her word for it that what she feels for him is real.

Anyway, so then if Supes wasn't unerringly safe she wouldn't be attracted to him by her logic. Which if presumably (huge IF b/c it could just be another clone and make all this just useless speculation) , it is Superman who is acting all without morals, she'd be the first to call him out on it and turn against him to take him down.

Or would she? (just how deep is that "soul mates" connection anyway...)

salivating at the possibilities,
alcyone


One loses so many laughs by not laughing at oneself - Sara Jeannette Duncan
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#46330 09/19/07 06:54 AM
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After smashing more alarm clocks than most people cared to own in a lifetime, he had bought one with a radio instead. It was set to go off in the mornings on a classical music station - soothing and pleasant to listen to.
You should so take my approach, Clark...set an alarm clock on the other side of the room.

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Superman had saved the Planet from annihilation by an asteroid, but he may not yet have faced his biggest challenge.

Himself.
OOH. That's an incredibly sketchy way to start off the story! I love it.

Hmmm, just a big RAFO! My mind is just reeling about the new clone and who possibly created him...although Jojo's comment below me is pretty creepy. Maybe Clark has an identity disorder...

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I didn’t intend for this to be another HoL rewrite, it just sort of happened that way. Come to think of it... I actually have another HoL rewrite on the backburner.
*stands up and clears throat*
Hi, my name is JD, and I'm an HoL addict. I cannot live this lie any longer!


JD


"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
#46331 09/19/07 07:35 AM
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Okay… so I made a promise DJ that your next story on the boards would get proper snarky feedback from me. So here I go. smile

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That way he didn’t have to turn it off until later, after he had woken up and was more in control of himself.
Or if he is like me… it would sooth be back to sleep so I wouldn’t even have to worry about it being an annoyance.

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At the time, Clark hadn’t seen how it could possibly come back to haunt him.
*snort* Come on! Everything comes back to haunt you guys. You’d think after a while they would just come to expect it.

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Obviously he had been wrong.
Now I can hear Tempus in the background saying, “Well duh!”

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Clark grinned wryly at himself. Maybe he had gotten too much sleep.
Hmm… now you have me wondering if Clark was hypnotized or something along those lines and actually is committing the crimes. O_O

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He stepped in and out of the shower in a matter of a few seconds, drying off with a towel before tying it around his waist.
Do you know how much I hate him right now?? How much I would kill to sleep in and only have to spend a couple of minutes getting dressed and look as good as he does? *flails*

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“Don’t get cute. Now are you coming or aren’t you?”
But he’s always cute. How can someone like that get any cuter? Lol

Anyway, I love the premise DJ. It looks to be a very interesting story and I’m anxious to see if it is going to be a clone doing the damage or if it is Clark. smile


Angry Clark: CLARK SMASH!
Lois: Ork!
#46332 09/19/07 08:00 AM
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Sorry, DJ, I don't have for long expansive feedback - though I'd like to! - I have to go to work. But this is just to let you know that I love the premise, I want to see where you're going with it and get writing! laugh

Please? wink

~Anna.


Lois: Jimmy, give me back my dress.
Clark: Now there's something you don't hear around the newsroom everyday.
#46333 09/19/07 10:21 AM
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(although I don’t think I was really gone long enough for anyone to miss me
Are you kidding? A NEW DJ STORY??? It just turned my mood around from Mad Doggish to ... regular Lois.

And of course we want more. Are you crazy? I love more. It completes my day. I hope that since you have SOME cushion we'll see the next part soon...? Can't wait! Love the premise.

Laura


Thanks to CapeFetish for the awesome icon. smile
#46334 09/19/07 11:53 AM
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Awesome beginning!

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What are you, some kind of crazy, nutso woman?!
lol Labrat said it perfectly. Bring it on!


Silence is golden.
Duct tape is silver.

~Saw it on a T-Shirt.
#46335 09/19/07 02:11 PM
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Great beginning, DJ!

(And heh - I was LOLing at LabRat's reply! DJ, do you know how often Labby comments on a story at all these days? That should tell you that you have to keep going with this!)

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After smashing more alarm clocks than most people cared to own in a lifetime, he had bought one with a radio instead.
Funny! I myself often get up inhumanly early, or it feels that way at least. My blasted alarm clock wakes me up. Can you believe it's the same non-beloved noise machine that I bought when I moved into my first apartment, thirty years ago?)

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“Reports confirm that Superman was seen robbing a bank earlier this morning...” a man's voice continued.

WHAT? Clark's brain stammered and the rest of the announcer's words were lost in a static fog.
I love his stammering brain! The static fog ain't so bad, either. Reminds me of the whitish static on a TV screen when there is nothing on. Did you know I read somewhere that the white "snow" of static is actually the signature of so-called virtual particles popping in and out of existence everywhere around us, which have a lot to do with the very existence of the universe? Then again, I guess it might be just static.... laugh

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Once-esteemed? What happened to innocent until proven guilty? Superman hadn't even had a chance to defend himself yet...

Wait a minute - had he just said that the robber had busted through the armor-plated vault door? That wasn't possible, was it? Not for a normal human, anyway.
So maybe that's why they would jump to the conclusion that Superman was actually guilty until proven innocent....

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Clark frowned sadly. He hadn't wanted things to end that way. It would have been nice having a... a what? A brother? That was about the closest analogy he could make. But the clone had been dying. He had been in pain. And he had asked Clark to destroy him. So Clark had obliged.
I'm not quite as moved by this as Alcyone, but I like it. And I like how she put her reason for loving it.

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At the time, Clark hadn't seen how it could possibly come back to haunt him.
Was it Jojo who said that everything comes back to haunt us? I like that, too.

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His body felt strangely lethargic for having finally gotten a good night's sleep. It was the first time in a long time that he had slept so well or for so long. The last time he remembered waking up was to a police siren at about two o'clock in the morning, and it had been a false alarm. Now it was almost seven.

Clark grinned wryly at himself. Maybe he had gotten too much sleep.
DJ, did I ever tell you that I used to read the Superman comics? laugh Anyway, there was a story in the late eighties where Superman - Clark, actually - always woke up in the morning feeling really tired, even though he had always had a good night's sleep. Well, it later turned out that he hadn't been sleeping - at least, not in his bed! He had been sort of sleep-walking, roaming the streets, and when he did, he assumed another, darker personality. He became an avenger of crime rather than a good and bright upholder of truth and justice. His "other personality" created some havoc, and.... No, I think I'll say no more about that!

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“Lois?” Clark furrowed his eyebrows. “Go where?” Had he forgotten about an appointment they had?
Hmmmmm. That sleep-deprived sleep-walking comic book Clark also became sort of forgetful.

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“Unbreak my heart, say you'll love me again, undo this hurt that you've caused...”

“And then a hero comes along. With the strength to carry on. And you cast your fears aside. And you know you can survive...”
Wonder if you quoted these lines from well-known songs for any particular reason?

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She could still remember the night that the clone had come over for dinner. Lois had been unsuspecting. She hadn't realized that it wasn't the real Superman. He had acted like a bad prom date. She could still remember the way his arm had slid behind her back in that a horrible excuse of a stretch, and the way he had lunged at her for a kiss. At that moment, Lois had realized what so drew her to Superman.

His goodness.
Could "our Clark" ever behave threateningly toward Lois, even if he was "sleep-walking" or something similar? I find it hard to believe.

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Superman had saved the Planet from annihilation by an asteroid, but he may not yet have faced his biggest challenge.

Himself.
Wow, that's a great way to end the first part of a fic, DJ! So now you just have to give us the rest of the story, hmmm? Just listen to what Labby said! laugh [Linked Image]

Ann

#46336 09/19/07 02:32 PM
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Of course we welcome all stories from you, silly rabbit

doublel

#46337 09/19/07 05:01 PM
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oops, originally stuck this at the end of the story thread blush

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So... what do you think? Do you want more?
umm, let me think for a bit... hmm, let's see, umm... YES ( goofy Duh!)

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Superman had saved the Planet from annihilation by an asteroid, but he may not yet have faced his biggest challenge.

Himself.
What a powerful ending. I love the way you've set the story up, can't wait to read more - bring on part 2!


All right... all right... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order... what have the Romans done for us?
#46338 09/20/07 01:16 AM
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Hello everyone! goofy I'm glad - I hope it lives up to your expectations. Yeah, I always thought it would be sad for Clark to lose someone like that clone - sure he was a "drip" (like you said) but he was showing promise by the end of the ep, and he was the only person like Clark on the planet. Suspicious? Nah...

I loved all of your postulations and theories. Absolutely reveled in them. <g> Glad I've got you salivating. Thanks for the fdk, Alcyone!


Hi Jen! LOL at the alarm clock suggestion - yeah, that could work too. <g> I'm so glad everyone enjoyed that ending line so much. Yes - RAFO. I'm LOL at your declaration. The first step is admitting the truth goofy I'm glad you want more. Thanks. Hmmm, yes, I do have some cushion. Maybe I can get the next part out a little early. I said a week, but maybe Sunday night? Thanks for the fdk, Laura!


Hi Symbolic! Thank you! Hee hee. Thanks for the fdk!


Hi Ann! Yes, I know how often Labby comments - I was tickled pink. Oooooh, I just loved all your comments (as always <g>) And I loved your little Superman comic expose on the assumed dark personality - very interesting stuff. And... awwww, you won't say any more about it? <pout> I chose those specific songs because they went along with my story, yes, but also because I just thought they were fun little "details". My English teacher always said "the devil's in the details". I think having some details or descriptions like that just helps to bring the story to life. I could have just said Lois flipped through the channels bypassing songs and sports scores - but that wouldn't have been nearly as fun to me. <g>

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Could "our Clark" ever behave threateningly toward Lois, even if he was "sleep-walking" or something similar? I find it hard to believe.
Hmmm, that's a very interesting question, Ann. Very...

Thanks for the fdk! And I loved the little, err, "rat" at the end. Ha ha! Too cute! Yes, I'll definitely listen to what LabRat and everyone had to say. Thank you!


Hi doublel! Hee hee. Thanks.


Hi viv! Heh - thanks. I'm glad you liked the ending and are enjoying the story. I hope to have part 2 up perhaps Sunday night? I would post sooner - but I have to pace myself. I'll run out of cushion, stress out my muse, and then we'll all be in trouble. <g>

Thank you all so much for your fdk! I'll see you soon with part 2!

-- DJ


Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
#46339 09/20/07 01:59 AM
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So... what do you think? Do you want more?
Ahum...!

There had better BE more, or I'll go over there and slap you silly.

I'm not kidding!! Anyone'll tell you I'm game to hop on a plane and fly there - of course, I don't know exactly where *there* is, but I'll start looking and figure it out before I land, I'm sure. wink

So you'd better get writing, missy! wink


Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
#46340 09/20/07 04:35 AM
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Before I get into answering fdk, I must apologize first to both LabRat and Laura S. You see both of them contributed a little something that inspired me to write this story.
Hel-lo. Okay, doubly intriguing! No clue what flash of obvious brilliance I happened to impart laugh , but looking forward to seeing what you did with it anyway. wink

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LabRat, you have no idea how big of a "SQUEEEE" [Hyper] I let out when I saw that not only had you left me fdk, but you had started the fdk thread - especially since I know you don't read a lot of fanfic these days - woohoo!!!
Okay, now you're making me feel guilty, because it wasn't terribly good fdk. blush Guess I'll just have to try harder for part two, huh? (Peeks into folder...wot, no part two up yet?)

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Why yes, I am some kind of crazy, nutso woman as a matter of fact.
Well that's a good thing to be. Especially round these here parts.

Takes another peek. No part two, yet, I see.

LabRat smile

PS Where's part two?

PPS The inspiration doesn't have anything to do with sheep, I hope. shock



Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.


The Musketeers
#46341 09/20/07 07:06 AM
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I love this premise and can't wait to read the second part.

I really loved the songs you chose to include when Lois is flipping through the radio stations--they did a great job grounding this story in the appropriate time (mid-90s).

#46342 09/20/07 11:47 AM
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Ooooh! More fdk!

Hi Lara! <hug> Slap me silly, huh? You would definitely have to come a long way for that... farther than Sue. <g> And I bet I could get away before you got here. <snort> But *ahem* I'll be a good girl and listen to you... <g> Thanks for the fdk, Lara!


Hi Labby!

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Hel-lo. Okay, doubly intriguing! No clue what flash of obvious brilliance I happened to impart [Big Grin] , but looking forward to seeing what you did with it anyway. [Wink]
Hee hee - I'm sure you'll realize what it was as you read. <g> And NO! It wasn't the SHEEP!!! LOL <snorting> - although I am exploring that particular "theme", just in a different direction. <wink>

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(Peeks into folder...wot, no part two up yet?)
How about tomorrow? Will that be soon enough? At your insistent urging <g> I sent part 2 off to Sue for a beta and she thought she'd have it back to me in time for me to post tomorrow. <g> Thanks Labby!


Hi Angie! I'm so glad. Yes, I was trying to think of songs that would have been popular around 93/94. I actually meant to double check the release dates on those songs, but I forgot blush Thanks for the fdk!


Thanks again everyone! I'll see you back here sometime tomorrow with part 2! hyper


Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
#46343 10/04/07 07:26 PM
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what a great and powerful beginning. Way to start. And I love the sentence "It was going to be one of those mornings". Poor Clark.

And now there are many many questions and I am so glad that I have free-time so I can jump to part 2 imidiatly.

I am so glad there is a new story written by you out there. I love them all. smile1


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