Okay, Sue, the longer I wait the worse it will get... so, I've been drowning in work at school lately. This isn't a fun time of the year to be a teacher, believe me. And... I don't know if I should say this, but I will anyway... Okay. You know how Lois felt about other guys after she had met Clark? Whatever she might have been telling herself about Mister Greenjeans and the Hack from Nowheresville, the truth is, after she had met Clark, well, then all other guys were... not quite Clark. So. I came across the
Clark of all revelation stories recently, CC Aiken's alternative ending to The Friends We'd Do For A Friend. And CC's story is so... so perfect, so funny, so sweet, so in character, so adorably ridiculous, so lovely...
and it's nfic.
And the actual revelation happens during, uh, a certain activity. Well... let me just say that after I had read CC's story I was not really in the mood for any other revelation piece, because I had already met the
Clark of this genre, you know?
Okay... but that's like saying that once you have read a book you absolutely, totally liked, you don't have to read anything else for the rest of your life. Once you've heard a song you totally love, you won't need to listen to any other songs, ever.... It just doesn't work like that. So, just like Jojo, I needed to re-read this story in order to appreciate it. What makes your story glitter and shine to an LNC-ep-challenged person like me is your masterful way of writing Lois and Clark dialogue. All of it is perfect. Heck, even I, who have seen so little of the episodes, can totally
hear Lois and Clark's voices. Consider this:
"Clark, if we had gone to the concert last night would you have taken me somewhere afterwards?"
"Where would you have wanted to go?"
Lois thought about it. "You know what would have been nice?"
"What?"
"Remember that cafe we ate at a couple of weeks ago?"
"The one with the huge fishtank? Or the one where you got in a fight with the waitress?"
Isn't it so spot-on and perfect how they keep talking to each other and replying to each other's questions by asking a new question?
And when Lois finally makes a statement, instead of asking a new question, this is what she says:
"I didn't get in a fight with that waitress! She was being rude!
Oh, so, so, so Lois!!!
And how totally perfect is this, where Lois seems to voice Clark's thoughts?
Clark had gone through what seemed like hundreds of scenarios as he tried to figure out what to do next. He couldn't get them out of the trunk with the car still moving - not without drawing attention to them and having to do a lot of explaining to Lois. In the end he kept coming to the same conclusion. He had to tell her.
"I have to confess something," she said abruptly.
"What?" He was startled out of considering how best to tell her his secret.
I have to confess something - No,
I have to confess something - No,
I'll go first! Is this Lois and Clark or is it Lois and Clark?
"I could see you last night - your silhouette on the door. I could see you getting changed. And I watched you when I should have just looked away."
This is nowhere near as bad as when Clark proposed to Lois instead of telling her his secret. Talk about horrible timing! Lois's timing is at least
slightly unfortunate. On the other hand, what she tells Clark is really erotic, too.
And oh, the way you show us how they - or at least Clark - is practically bursting with the need to tell Lois what he needs to tell her, and yet he keeps holding back, totally frightened of what will happen if he does tell her.
"Why not?"
"I don't know." He shifted uncomfortably. "I, you, uh, you make me nervous, Lois."
"I do not! After two years of being friends? How can you say that?"
He cleared his throat. "So you wouldn't be nervous if you thought I was about to kiss you?"
Her stomach tightened unexpectedly. "Are you about to kiss me?"
"No," he said softly. "I'm just asking you an illustrative question."
"Oh," she whispered, tamping down the sudden disappointment that had flooded through her. "What was that supposed to illustrate?"
"Nothing, I guess," he admitted. "Apparently I'm the only one who's nervous."
This, too, is so lovely - how the erotic tension is rising between them, how Clark is inching towards honesty with Lois, and how they keep answering questions by asking each other more questions.
But suddenly Lois says something that has a very good chance to make Clark confess:
"Okay," Lois finally said. "I think I have a plan to get us out of this."
has a plan? Clark, your male pride, let alone your Superman-hood,
requires that you inform her that you have a better plan than her.
"Me, too," he replied impulsively.
"Mine is better."
Her plan is
better? Come on, Clark. Now you need to tell her about yourself not only for
her sake, but for your own as well!
The smug tone of her words combined with the confusion he was still feeling to send an irritated twitch through him. "Does yours involve Superman?"
"Well, that would be nice if he showed up, but no."
"Mine does," he countered.
"If we're in the mountains it's probably too late to start yelling for Superman."
"There's no need."
"Your plan is that good?" Her tone left no doubt that she was certain her plan was superior.
Okay... inching towards revelation... inching... inching....
"Lois," he sighed. "This is not the way I wanted to tell you."
"Tell me what?"
His body tensed against hers and then he spoke. "I'm Superman."
And we're there!!!
She was silent. Disbelief and panic flooded through him. He had done it. He had told her. And she had said... nothing. It was then that he realized that her body was trembling and she was making a gasping sound. Was she crying? Horrified, he realized that she wasn't crying - she was laughing. Her body shook harder and she began to laugh out loud.
I love Lois's reaction. (And it reminds me at least a little of CC's story, which I'm still so full of....)
"I'm serious." He was more than a little offended. Of all the reactions he had expected this disbelieving laughter had never even crossed his mind.
I liked CC-Clark's reaction to Lois's laughter better... sorry, Sue....
She was absolutely quiet. He had expected more of an argument. "Lois?" he prompted.
"You're really Superman?" she clarified.
"Yes."
"Are you wearing the Suit? Right now?"
"Well, no, actually."
In the silence that followed he knew she was rolling her eyes.
"I can't for the life of me figure out why you'd make this up," she said.
Clark fought back the urge to retort 'I can't for the life of me figure out why I told you.'
But this is totally vintage Sue again, the way Lois and Clark talk to each other.
"It's going to be okay, I promise." His lips moved in an almost-kiss against her ear as he spoke. No sooner had he spoken then several more shots rang out, this time puncturing through the metal of the trunk, leaving small shafts of daylight in their wake. Lois jumped and twitched with each shot, unaware that she was letting out a series of terrified shrieks with each blast.
Clark rolled forward to cover her, counting to match each bullet with its shot as they bounced away from his back and legs. He placed one hand along her cheek protectively.
And this is lovely.
"Lois, can you turn over and face me? Can you hold on to me, tight? We're going to have to move really fast."
"I, uh, yes, right, of course." Lois wiggled until she was facing him but wasn't sure how to hold him in the cramped conditions.
"Here, lift up for a second," he said softly. She did and his arm slipped beneath her, holding her securely against him. She put her arms around his neck.
"You really are Superman, aren't you?" The car lurched and slowed as it bounced over rougher terrain. She buried her face in his shirt, inhaling the familiar scent of him. Clark was Superman, she told herself. And a damn good thing, too, or they'd both be dead already.
"Yes."
"That's how the champagne was so cold," she said softly. "And it wasn't a defective bulb, was it?"
I love how Lois is suddenly slightly in awe of Clark, now that he has turned himself into Superman right before her. And then nit-picking, stickler-for-detail Lois makes an appearance, solving the mystery about the temperature of some champagne and a supposedly broken light bulb that has been bothering her. I mean,
now she is thinking about something like that! So Lois!!!
Lois looked down to see the car smash and roll several times before landing upside down in a shower of dust and shattered glass. Even more jarring was the realization that she was seeing all this from a vantage point that included the toes of Clark's sneakers.
And this is another absolutely adorable detail - Lois is watching "their" car roll down a hill from the vantage point of Clark's sneakers, floating in the air, fifty feet above the ground.
I like the ending, too, although ultimately it doesn't speak to me as strongly as your other stories do. Why doesn't it? Is it simply because this story isn't nfic? Maybe, just maybe, my long years of frustration at the way Lois and Clark
wouldn't become lovers somehow makes me feel this is one more story where they
don't take that final step. Especially since I know what a master you are at writing precisely the kind of stories where they
do. Remember, though, that if I ultimately didn't think that your story was really and truly
Clark to me, the reason for this is probably that I'm simply not the right kind of Lois for your story.
Ann
