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#33960 11/04/06 01:17 PM
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Waittaminute? 1/1? mecry I hope you're going to have a sequel to this. Several sequels. I have half a million questions after reading this! LOL!

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who send that back to me so fast that I'm still very impressed.
hehehe! It's Saturday! wink Besides, it was so good, I read the first few lines and couldn't stop myself. smile

I've said this already, but the relationship between Clark and Becca is just too cute. smile I *love* Clark with kids, he's simply adorable! And she's a pretty wise little 7-year-old girl, which makes it obvious he's been raising her.

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He knew at once that he wanted to get acquainted with her. He wouldn’t give up until he knew the secrets under her surface. And a vague inkling told him that he would be totally addicted to her before he even got that knowledge.
I love how you wrote this! smile She's so definitely an addiction to him!

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She looked over to another woman that was dressed as if she was constantly hunting down men.
Hunting down men, indeed. And be careful, Clark, you'll be on her hit list, soon enough. hehehe!

I like how the fact that he's caring for Becca is going to affect his future relationship with Lois. And how is that going to affect his becoming Superman, too. Cause he can't be away all the time, he has to be there for her.

I'm loving the possibilities that this opens up!!

Pleeeeeeease, give us more!!!


Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
#33961 11/04/06 02:04 PM
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Nice start. I hope there will be more.

As a side point, I can't understand Clark's money problems.

When it was just himself I can see not using his powers to enable him to build extra funds but with a child, no, just plain stupid of him.

All he needs to do for some extra cash is locate one of the many Spanish treasure ships or do some quick gold mining or a hundred other things that are not illegal, or immoral.

Patrick


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#33962 11/04/06 04:02 PM
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All he needs to do for some extra cash is locate one of the many Spanish treasure ships or do some quick gold mining or a hundred other things that are not illegal, or immoral.
Wait a sec... this is Clark Kent we're talking about here... For one thing, he's *way* too straight to do anything of the like, even though it may not be illegal. He was brought up to know the value of hard work and I highly doubt that he's going to take an easy way out - it's just not him. Even if he was desperate, I cannot possibly see this man going out to loot a sunken ship. I sincerely believe he'd sell the shirt off his back before he went and did such a thing.


Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
#33963 11/04/06 08:47 PM
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I agree with Lara that this CAN'T be all of it! This is just too good a start NOT to continue! Who was Becca's mom, what killed her, and what was her relationship with Clark? Did she know about his powers? Is that why she trusted her child with him? And what happened to Becca's biological father? Lots of wonderful avenues to explore!

But I disagree with Lara that mining gold (on land with no claim on it, of course) would be cheating. Looting a sunken ship, yes, if there were any reasonable chance for a normal recovery of items (and think about what's been brought up from the Titanic and how deep it sits), but not if it's down in the bottom of, say, the Marianas Trench (up to 40,000 feet deep).

But if he wants to keep his powers secret, he won't do that. It wouldn't be a good idea for someone in a business suit and no deep-sea submersible to suddenly appear with some Spanish gold from a 16th century shipwreck and try to convert it into cash. The lawsuits would stretch from here to the next three Tank endings, and the questions about how and where he found those historical artifacts would keep three major newspapers in business for months. No, he just has to get hired at the Planet! Perry, get ready to be impressed!

Now hurry up and post the next chapter! We're already impressed!


Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.

- Stephen King, from On Writing
#33964 11/04/06 10:41 PM
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<Rambling ahead>

Once I was on a bus and it was twilight, getting darker. A girl standing close to me pointed out the window and said to her boyfriend, "Look at the sun." I looked, too. The sun was hanging close to the horizon, pearly-white and softly gleaming with shades of apricot and lemon. The sky was darkening behind it. The sight was beautiful and terrible; what had happened to the sun? And then the boyfriend's voice rang out next to me: "It's not the sun, it's the moon." <End of rambling>

Barbara, do you know why I haven't replied to your story until now? Two reasons. I read this story yesterday as I was getting ready for bed, and I was really tired, and... honestly, here you give us the amazing first chapter of an amazing re-writing of the LnC pilot and then you call it Secret Fears 1/1. 1/1???? As in, this is all we get? This is finished now? I feel as lost and confused as I did back on that bus when I was staring at the moon and trying to understand how it could be the sun. Now I'm staring at that 1/1 and asking how this chapter can be a story in its entirety, when it so plainly, obviously is just the beginning of an amazing tale. I mean, Barbara, come on! What would all the Harry Potter fans say if J.K. Rowling were to publish just the very first chapter of the last book about Harry Potter and then tell everybody that, sorry folks, that's it?

Okay... I'll try to give you some feedback on what you actually wrote for us, which was Secret Fears 1/?, in case you didn't notice.

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This place was too narrow for grief and sorrow.
Barbara, you and I share the predicament that we are not native English-speakers. I have never heard that expression you use, and I don't know if it exists, as such...and it's not as if my lack of knowledge means anything, one way or another... but, damn it, the expression is beautiful. I don't know what it means, I can't picture it, but I can feel that it's magical and mysterious, and I love it.

Clark is dreaming about a woman, an unknown woman, who is nevertheless the woman he has spent his life searching for. But he is interrupted by this:

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in his dreams his lips were captured in a wonderful kiss. Soft hands were trailing down his chest, stroking it and lips were placing kisses on it. He was aware of every movement of these silky hands and something landed on his stomach, making him gasp.

Clark opened his eyes, wide-awake now. He was welcomed with a warm, beautiful smile.
The woman of his dreams is there already?

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“Good morning, pumpkin,” he murmured, his voice still a little drowsy, and smiled back into dark brown eyes.

“Good morning, daddy.” Becca replied, hugging Clark, who embraced the little girl.
It's a little girl!!! Clark is a daddy?

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“I told you not to call me dad, Rebecca,” Clark admonished her playfully.

“I didn’t call you dad, I said daddy,” she protested.

“Rebecca!”

“Okay, I won’t do it again…daddy!” Becca promised.
Clark is not a daddy?

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Clark had tried to convince her that she should call him Clark instead of daddy, because he wasn’t really her father.
No?

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Becca knew that, but she refused to obey him in this case.
Well, goodness, if Clark is taking care of her she should call him daddy. (Ah... but those dark brown eyes made me think that Clark really was her daddy. Okay, okay, I'm not arguing.)

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In the kitchen Clark started preparing breakfast. He fried eggs and made coffee for himself and milk for Becca. He placed jam and bread on the table – all made the good old-fashioned way.
Please don't think I'm mocking you, Barbara, but I couldn't help giggling at the image that suddenly jumped into my head: Clark slicing the bread he has baked himself, getting the jam he has made himself, brewing the coffee he is going to drink himself and then reaching for the teats of his udder to get the milk for Rebecca that he has made himself.... (No... Don't tell me he is frying the eggs he laid himself??? eek )

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“Oh, Becky, I know how much you hate to travel constantly. I know it’s my fault. But you’ll find friends here in no time, I promise, honey. And I’ll really do my best that this won’t happen again so soon here in Metropolis. It’s a huge city. One more freak doesn’t actually count, does he?”
Poor Rebecca! She has to move constantly, because Clark has to move constantly, because... well, we all know why.

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“You’re not a freak, daddy,” Becca stated firmly.
Aaaaawwww!!!! Becca, do you know that is the sweetest thing you could say to Clark?

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“Just why do you have to do these things all the time. I thought you could control them.”

“Why did I have to have this nice little chat with the mother of that girl you’ve bullied on that playground back in Plymouth?” Clark returned the question.

“Because I couldn’t stand there and watch while she was hurting the baby-boy!”

Clark grinned at her words inwardly. The “baby-boy” had been five years old and barely younger than Becca.
Adorable!!!! Clark is constantly helping and saving people, and now Becca is following in her foster father's footsteps, super or not!

And poor Clark has money problems. I'll bet that wouldn't worry him one bit if he had had only himself to think about, but now it's different:

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Clark could clearly remember his mother’s speech when he had decided to be Becca’s father. She had told him that it was risky and not easy to integrate in his life. Not only because he was young, he was also different. It had been about the first time that his mother had brought that argument.
Yes, now he has Becca to take care of. And, worst of all, he can't even go to his parents with his problems, because they advised him against taking care of Becca in the first place. Well, it's good to see that Becca loves them, and that must mean that they like Becca, too.

But why is Becca with Clark in the first place?

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a young father and nice grandparents might be a better choice for Becca than old parents and a frequently traveling brother.
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When Becca had been orphaned, the youth welfare office had respected the mother’s last will. Clark had had to undergo a psychological examination. When they had found that he was mature enough to take the responsibility, they had gritted their teeth and agreed to leave the little girl with Clark.
Okay, both of Becca's parents are dead, and Becca's mother wanted Clark to take care of her daughter. Hmmm, Barbara. I'd like to know more about what happened to Becca's parents, and what sort of relationship Clark had with Becca's mother.

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The newsroom was busy. A few dozen people were running around or were frantically typing stories into their computers. Others were calling people, chatting with them on the phone. It was loud and crowded, obviously chaotic and strangely organized at the same time. Maybe it was comparable with a bee hive. The bees seemed to be flying around without destination, but that was only the shallow view of it. They were highly organized and so was the Daily Planet. The queen bee, which was male in this case, sat in the center of interest. The office of the editor-in-chief was across the room. From there, Mr. White saw and heard everything.
I love the beehive newsroom of the Daily Planet, with Perry as the queen bee!!! rotflol

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Clark stepped down the ramp and was on the same level with the newsroom now. He walked through the reporters and felt very exposed though only some of them were really watching him. It was somehow like the dream where he went to school naked.
I simply love the way you conjure up Clark's nervousness, discomfort and self-consciousness by comparing his walk through the Daily Planet newsroom with his dream about going to school naked.

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For a brief moment time stood still. She was obviously furious, incredible and awesome. Her beauty was earth shattering, making Clark’s jaw drop instantly as he saw her. She was telling Mr. White something and it had to be an argument. But Clark didn’t hear the words; he just saw the movements of her delicate lips. Her gestures were strong enough to involve her whole body. Her eyes were like dark brown honey and they gleamed with an intense fire.
Oh, what a wonderful description of Lois!

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She had the single most amazing heart beat he had ever heard.
And this line... I'll never forget it! So amazingly, incredibly Clark, collector of heart beats!!! rotflol

Oh, but poor Clark doesn't get the job. At least he can listen once more to what has instantly become his favorite sound:

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To distract himself from the misery that had washed over him, Clark allowed himself a last look at that beautiful woman. He heard her heart beat which sent pleasant shivers through his spine.
A-d-o-r-a-b-l-e!!!!

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“Don’t even think about it!” someone said. Clark returned to the present, startled. He looked into Jimmy’s young, smiling face.

“Think of what?” Clark asked and shook hands with Jimmy.

“Lois Lane. I don’t recall anyone of the staff members asking her out and being able to tell the story. She doesn’t date with other reporters.” Jimmy explained. “I’m Jimmy Olsen.”

“Clark Kent. Well, unfortunately I’m not a staff member,” Clark replied.

“Oh, I hope that’s not my fault, “Jimmy said sympathetically and as Clark shook his head, he continued. “ Anyway, that won’t help either. Rumors are that she doesn’t date at all. At least Cat constantly claims that.”
I love this bit of dialogue between Clark and Jimmy about Lois.

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“What’s that theater story about?” Clark inquired.

“You heard?” Jimmy asked surprised.

“In Mr. White’s office,” Clark said quickly. That was a lie. He hadn’t heard a word of the argument in the editor’s office. But he could hardly tell Jimmy that. However, he had convinced the younger man. Jimmy told him what he wanted to know. When Clark left the office after their little chat, his mind was a little less depressed. He had a plan.
Well, good! Clark has a plan. He is going to get a job at the Daily Planet, bring stability and constancy to Becca's life, start carefully courting Lois, get Lois and Becca to like each other and then finally turn himself, Becca and Lois into a happy family. You bet we want to read it all, Barbara! So what is that pale and pearly orb doing masquerading as the sun? What is this first chapter of an absolutely fascinating story doing masquerading as a finished vignette? Don't torture us, Barbara! Give us the rest of this!!!

Ann

#33965 11/04/06 11:28 PM
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Waittaminute? 1/1? I hope you're going to have a sequel to this. Several sequels. I have half a million questions after reading this! LOL!
Yes, 1/1. I'm serious.

Okay, I think I need to do some explanation why this story looks so unfinished. Well, of course it is. I was thinking a lot about writing my next story and was happy and devastated at the same time that I couldn't come up with an idea. That is pretty darn good when you shouldn't be writing stories and pretty darn bad when you love writing so much. blush

Then suddenly it hit me and I started writing this piece. At first it was a little hard to place the two of them somewhere. But when I had found a logic explaination for all the questions this problem comes up with, writing got more easy. And I noticed that I had a problem. I didn't know where to start or end. What if I ended up with a fourhundred pages and had to find someone to read them? And what if I ended up with a 400 pages and asked a beta-reader and he or she tells me that FoLCs would hate Clark being a father because the first- season child-hating Lois wouldn't have a look at him?

Okay, so this is a test-run. I threw the story into the water and now I look if it is able to swim. Seems like it can swim. dance

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Barbara, you and I share the predicament that we are not native English-speakers. I have never heard that expression you use, and I don't know if it exists, as such...and it's not as if my lack of knowledge means anything, one way or another... but, damn it, the expression is beautiful. I don't know what it means, I can't picture it, but I can feel that it's magical and mysterious, and I love it.
Well, yes I could tell you now that I'm German. It's the country of poets... Well, I don't think that's the reason. It's just that my language offers a lot of room for images in language. And of course my English is influenced by my native language. If that's a good thing or a bad is up to you to decide. I guess it's bad for the length of my sentences and I'm surely using too much nouns - bad style in English, and for some strange reason the really good style in German.

Anyway....thank you for the compliment Ann! sloppy

And thanks to anyone else reading this story and liking it.


It's never too dark to be cool. cool
#33966 11/04/06 11:34 PM
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In case you didn't get it form the thread above. There will be sequels, I promise.

But they won't be called Secret Fears, I seriously hope you'll be able to live with that. laugh


It's never too dark to be cool. cool
#33967 11/05/06 04:39 AM
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But I disagree with Lara that mining gold (on land with no claim on it, of course) would be cheating.
I'm not saying it's "cheating" exactly. But it's a "get rich quick" thing and I just don't picture him doing that. He's a true "lawful good" character, he's just too straight to go that way, imho. Now if he was a bit on the chaotic side... (sorry, AD&D flashes suddenly coming up the surface here!)

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This place was too narrow for grief and sorrow.
Barbara, you and I share the predicament that we are not native English-speakers. I have never heard that expression you use, and I don't know if it exists, as such...and it's not as if my lack of knowledge means anything, one way or another... but, damn it, the expression is beautiful. I don't know what it means, I can't picture it, but I can feel that it's magical and mysterious, and I love it.
English isn't my first language either (it's a predicament?) and when I read that I was pretty much thinking the same as Ann. ie: I've never heard anyone describe it that way, but it's a beautiful way of putting it. smile

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And what if I ended up with a 400 pages and asked a beta-reader and he or she tells me that FoLCs would hate Clark being a father because the first- season child-hating Lois wouldn't have a look at him?
I don't think you could possibly write something that noone would want to read. There are audiences for every styles and while some people might not like the idea of starting the story with Clark having a daughter, some will welcome the change. I do. I think it's a great idea. It gives you a different perspective. If we all sat around and wrote the same sort of stories all the time, we'd be so incredibly bored by now... and there wouldn't be anyone around here still trying to write anything, anyway because it would all have been done before.

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There will be sequels, I promise.
Yay! I can put away the big signs I made that read "We want Becca back!" then. hehehe!

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But they won't be called Secret Fears, I seriously hope you'll be able to live with that.
As long as there are more, I don't think it matters what you call them. smile Just give us sequels. Pleeeeeeeeeeease!!!! smile


Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
#33968 11/05/06 07:46 AM
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Yay!!! Sequels!!!

Ann

#33969 11/05/06 10:51 AM
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Looting a sunken ship....to suddenly appear with some Spanish gold
LOOTING!! <large sigh> I never said looting.
I'm talking legal salvage. All Clark has to do is find a ship that is not worth recovery operations with current tech.

Most had simple gold bars, not the fancy coins and artwork that one sees in the news. No historial or cultural artifact value.


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#33970 11/12/06 07:56 PM
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Ah, now I know why I missed this little gem. This was posted at about the same time my aunt died.

I love this story, Barbara. I think it's your best work on these boards thus far. And how could I not love it when Becca reminds me so much of my Brook or Lara (A New Hero)?

I'm glad there is going to be sequels... and hopefully a prequel?
~~~

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He was aware of every movement of these silky hands and something landed on his stomach, making him gasp.

Clark opened his eyes, wide-awake now. He was welcomed with a warm, beautiful smile.

“Good morning, pumpkin,” he murmured, his voice still a little drowsy, and smiled back into dark brown eyes.

“Good morning, daddy.” Becca replied, hugging Clark, who embraced the little girl.
Awww.....

I loved the little game between Becca and daddy!

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A spiral staircase let to another room Rebecca had chosen as hers.
I always wondered what was at the top of that spiral staircase!


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The queen bee, which was male in this case, sat in the center of interest.
Hehehehe....

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Her eyes were like dark brown honey and they gleamed with an intense fire. She had the single most amazing heart beat he had ever heard.
Ooohh.. I like this.

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“Don’t even think about it!” someone said. Clark returned to the present, startled. He looked into Jimmy’s young, smiling face.

“Think of what?” Clark asked and shook hands with Jimmy.

“Lois Lane. I don’t recall anyone of the staff members asking her out and being able to tell the story. She doesn’t date with other reporters.” Jimmy explained. “I’m Jimmy Olsen.”
Lois, the pit-bull.

Great story, Barbara! Sorry I missed it before.


~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
#33971 11/13/06 06:27 AM
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Who could be angry with you???

Sorry to hear that with your aunt. But I'm really glad that you liked it. I already thought that you thought it was rubbish... hyper hyper hyper


It's never too dark to be cool. cool
#33972 11/14/06 02:06 PM
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Hi,

Great story! hyper


More ASAP, please.

MAF hyper


Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
#33973 11/15/06 06:05 PM
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This is a great beginning for a nice, loooooong fic! laugh
Possibly a series!

Now, come on, where's the rest?? notworthy notworthy notworthy


~•~
#33974 11/15/06 06:15 PM
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Have you read the first part of Sunday's Gain?

That's her "sequel."


I think, therefore, I get bananas.

When in doubt, think about time travel conundrums. You'll confuse yourself so you can forget what you were in doubt about.

What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence?
I don't know and I don't care one way or the other.
#33975 11/15/06 06:23 PM
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Aaaaaah, thank you. smile
I'm *so* behind, these days. Thanks! laugh


~•~
#33976 11/25/06 08:46 PM
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Great beginning. I am just catching up with your story.

Can't wait to see who is Becca and how will Lois react to it...

Off to read Sunday's Gain now.

#33977 11/26/06 09:22 AM
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Barbara, remember to send this along to the Archive - you don't want your author entry to be lonely, do you? <g>

LabRat smile



Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.


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