Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Was it that bad? (or fdk for To Be Like Him (1/2?) )

kinda bummed.. either noone's read it or it really sucks. LOL!

I've been busy and didn't even see this story. I read the first one and really liked it. I love short vignettes that can just brighten a busy day.

I would love to see how he reacts when he finds out he's Superman's son. Although, I'm surprised he managed to be as old as he is and not figure it out. I think you should finish this story. One minor criticism, there were a few spelling problems.

~Kristen

Nah, I wouldn't go reading too much about the quality of the story into a lack of fdk, Lara. The reasons why no one's gotten around to reading/commenting on a story are usually legion. And most of them probably have zip to do with the story.

For myself, I do still have the time, now and then, to check out the odd vignette, but I haven't had the chance to read anything in fanfic for days now. I can't imagine I'm the only one.

I certainly wouldn't question your writing talent. I know I haven't had the chance to read much from you, but the story I did read was excellently written. I'm expecting more submissions from you soon, you hear? Software applications would do nothing for submission numbers.

LabRat

You are on my list. I'm reading about five others and writing one of my own and just posted a couple of vignettes and working on editing one of them for the archive (poor LabRat got to be the editor). If I read too many at once, I get confused and can't remember which story is which.

So far I have really liked what you have written.

I read it, it was very cute. I am looking forward to more. Just have been kind of busy after the Dean chat the other night. Laura

Hi Lara! No, your story isn't 'that bad' or any kind of bad. As LabRat said, there are a zillion reasons people don't review, even if they read and enjoy. Please don't let a slow review day discourage you from writing.

Some comments:

Second person is hard to pull off in fanfic, I think, but you did it. It gives the story a nice conversational tone that I really like.

I really like this sentiment. It's a hard conclusion for any teen to reach, and for this one it must be that much harder.

And this, just following, did a great job of lightening the moment:



I liked the scene with Lois and Clark and the disconnect between how he thought they should be reacting versus how they were reacting. You can really feel the kid's confusion and frustration, and I'm looking forward to hearing about the revelation from his point of view.

I did have a few nitpicks of the grammar and spelling variety that I'd be happy to send you privately if you're interested. They were few and far between, however, and overall, I think you have a delightful story here.

Keep writing!

Caroline

thanks guys! Sorry for being real childish about all this... I'm easily depressed, but working on that.

Hadn't noticed the spelling problems. eeep. sorries! I've just installed the English version of the spell check on this machine, I promise I'll make good use of it.

I don't think he had any reason to suspect it.

I'm pretty much going with one of my own experiences for this: my Mom kept something from me for a very long time; even when it was litterally "in my face" I never figured it out. Several years later (once I did know) I realized that there were clues all over the place, but at the time, it never occured to me that these were signs because this was something I would not have expected at all. Not to mention you tend to trust your parents to tell you the truth and not keep secrets from you - at least, I did. Mind you, I'm a bit on the naive side... then again, my brother didn't figure anything out on his own either.

I'm planning on him going through the "why didn't I figure it out" a little later down the line. Maybe that'll help understand why he didn't pick up on the hints.

Promised! I've got other stories I'm working on, but they're longer and not especially "funny" (which I think this one is a bit) - the main characters actually are Lois and Clark in those (for a change *lol*) so they'll probably get more people interested, too. I'll get around to finishing them eventually, they just require a lot more thought and research. And I keep having ideas for short little things in the meantime. hehe!

I was just joking. It's the only other thing I know how to write. LOL I'm not entirely certain I'm better at writing those anyway. ;-)

Any help is appreciated in that respect. English is not my first language and I have lots to learn still. I'm never really sure I use idioms properly to begin with. I'm not going to complain about anyone nitpicking about grammar and spelling, quite the opposite, I take it as an opportunity to learn something.

Thanks guys!!

Haha, how cute! Looking fwd to the next part.

Jackie

I'm reading, I'm reading! I'll be reading whenever you post, you can be sure.

Andreia

Hi!
Good story so far. I must admit, that I didn't actually see it until you posted this.
Shame on me, especially since I liked the prequel very much. I'm waiting for your second part.

These days I don't have time for much reading. Taking care of a mother with Alzheimer's takes up a great deal of my time and I have to read in bits and snatches whenever I can find a spare minute. I have to pick my stories carefully, so I usually wait for the feedback thread to see if I should take the time to read it.

I think you should show us the resolution of this. It would be interesting to see.

Nan

Nan makes a good point. It's perfectly acceptable etiquette to start your own feedback thread at the same time you post a story or story segment, Lara. No one will think anything of you doing that.

And you'll often find that that encourages comments. Sometimes readers feel a little shy about starting the comments thread, so if there isn't one already there when they read the story they'll just not comment rather than be first.

And I must admit that these days, with my time so limited, what often gets me into reading something on the mbs, is reading the comments thread first. I don't have much time to read stories, but I still enjoy reading the comments about them and that's more than once led me into thinking, "Hmmmmm...intriguing. Must go check this out."

So don't be shy about starting your comments thread with your story post.

LabRat

Well done. I was involved in the chapter from the beginning on. Something that's not usually true for me in first person accounts, or accounts with non standard characters. I think you did a fab job here.

Hi Lara, I've on;y just seen part one and i REALLY like it.

I'm looking forward to Part 2,

regards.

SNL

like many others have said, it's not the quality of the story, it's RL not allowing for more than a quick glance at the boards. I'm behind on all the stories.

That being said, I'm loving the start of this.

Great line and exactly what any kid would say about those dreaded parent's talk.

Can't wait for the next chapter.

I'm feeling all kinds of awful now... I know people have lives, there wasn't a need for anyone to be sorry. :-( I didn't mean it to sound anything like that. ("open mouth, insert foot".. story of my life!)

I was just worried the story was awful and I know it's a bit hard to start a thread saying "well you know, your story sucked" *lol* so I figured I'd ask in case it was... I mean, I can handle criticism fine; if I know I did poorly on some things then I can fix 'em. I just figured I'd ask if it was so, I guess I didn't do it in the best possible way - pain killers really mess with my head.

Sorries... Going to go stand in my corner a bit. (J/K)

I'm almost done with part 2, will post it soon.

Ditto to everyone else! Your story was just fine!! I'm usually more on top of fdk, but in the past week, I've been out of town, the internet got fried in a storm (just got it back today!), and on top of moving next month, my work load tripled. I'm like a big walking dose of RL, haha. But I'll definitely be watching for the next story from you!
Jen

Okay, when I realized the story was short, I went ahead and read it. I do like the story, but I liked 'To Be Like Me' better. Don't get me wrong, I thought the story was darling. Poor kid.

I also had some grammar nitpicks and repetitive issues, but I tend to be tough about such things, and I absolutely want to crawl under a table when I make errors. I guess that's why it took me so many years to post any stories.

Hey, on the other hand, this asking for feedback thing seems to work like a charm... , etc.

Don't worry, I can relate! I don't think you being childish. When I posted my first video I was so nervous no one would put FDK or if I'd only get a few.

I was planning on reading this during my lunch hour at work since it isn't in the Nfic section. However, I have been crazy busy lately.

I haven't had much other time b/c RL is crazy this week. I'm 99% sure I may be getting a house (first house) this week!! So I'm anxious.

I've read four parts of various stories this week were I have not put FDK. I think I read two where I did. My bad.

Please do continue. I think the more stories the merrier. I want to see these boards thrive for years to come! If there isn't much response now, there is alway time later to enjoy. If you feel it isn't great, you can always edit and release a later version in response to your own growth and FDK.

Please keep writing and I'll try my hardest to remember to read and post FDK. I may not have much to say as I'm not very good with FDK. I'm shy to put suggestions about plot or grammar. I'm no pro at the latter. I think I've only done that twice.

Keep rockin' (I'm jealous you live in Montreal!!)

ROO
A Winnipeger.

Oh and your avatar is sooo cute.

I wish I could watch your video, SuperRoo. I'm working on an ancient computer since my other crased, and it just doesn't have the memory to do that.