|
|
Joined: Apr 2023
Posts: 569 Likes: 88
Columnist
|
|
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2023
Posts: 569 Likes: 88 |
Chapter 14 lives here.And here's the TOC.Now that the main plot is revealed, there are just a few little things for Lois and Clark to wrap up.  Just one night left in Egypt! ETA: Also, who is proud of me for not shooting Lois in this one, huh? She's barely even injured in this story!  Enormous thanks to 90stvfangirl who kindly agreed to beta this story at a breakneck pace! And gratitude to pacem, for a very thorough second look.  I always appreciate any thoughts or comments, favorite moments or constructive criticism! Thanks for reading!
Looking forward to this summer's Location Challenge! Looks like stories are due around August 1st, and then polls open for voting! And don't forget about the 2026 fundraiser! Head over to the Fundraising page to donate or consider adding a story to the Keepsake Collection fundraising drive!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2024
Posts: 201 Likes: 44
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Dec 2024
Posts: 201 Likes: 44 |
there isn’t one person that all the clues point toward.
Agatha Christie taught me that when that happens, it can be for a reason: “You’re all in on it?”
“You were so sure that this was just one person,” Zaid sneered at her.
…this. A group effort. “Its that you’re really connected to something. To other people. To the land.
That's deep. And for Clark, it must be even more so. you’re a part of that town, ritual corn crop worshiping and all
Amen.  “That’s right,” Zaid said. “Our government bows down to the American dollar. Even when it means giving away our own heritage.”
There I go relating to this once again. This is one of my worst nightmares, unironically. “How much more will you rob from our lands?” Zaid asked, sounding fraught and sad now instead of angry.
[...]
that Wahid has dug through the sand of these excavation sites his whole life yet his family still lives in the dirt
 That’s why I said I wasn’t sure there was really a villain. I can’t think of them that way. What I’m really angry about is the injustice and inequality that lead people to make bad decisions. “I probably will be. Mad, embarrassed, a little betrayed, beyond exasperated, and mad…” she said honestly. “But right now I’m sort of just glad that we’re both alive. And that you keep your promises.”
 “And they would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for these two reporters,” Carnahan quipped.
This reminded me of Scooby-Doo 
Stories are written by the victors.
(Hmm, come to think of it, that's not the exact quote...)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,016 Likes: 98
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,016 Likes: 98 |
This is so typically Lois to walk down the one passage she shouldn't. So glad they find Carnahan there and apparently also who's behind this. I thought the Egyptians might have their hand in this when they let on that they are not happy about the Americans digging through their history.
It's never too dark to be cool. 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,882 Likes: 12
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,882 Likes: 12 |
“Well, sure,” she teased. “Leave it to the farmboy to think three thousand years old paintings of a wheat are cool.”
 !!!! “Oh, Zaid!” Lois said, “You scared me! Where’s Abo?”
“I didn’t find Abo,” he replied to her.
Uh-oh... 👀👀 They're all in on it!! I had a feeling it wasn't just one person! And I had thought of Gamal, because of his artistic talent, but that they were ALL in on it?? Oooooh!! Focusing back on the falling rock, she saw it just as it landed.
Right on Zaid’s head.
Ouch!! But thankfully, between taekwondo and self-defense classes, an arm lock was something she knew how to get out of!
Literal YAY! “But you– You’re wearing short sleeves,” she stammered, her brain snagging on the one thing it hadn’t pieced together yet. “And shorts.”
“I left the suit at home,” he told her, his voice quiet and serious.
I really like how everything clicks, and they both know it. ❤️ The ancient Egyptians had been right: the brain was useless.
HAH!! This was a great chapter!! Fascinating to finally discover who was behind all this!!
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 568 Likes: 77
Columnist
|
|
Columnist
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 568 Likes: 77 |
Like peixinho, I'm quite sympathetic towards the 'villains'. I have a good friend who is Egyptian and lives in Egypt. He has a university degree that would be considered a good one elsewhere, but he works as a repair man because of the lack of opportunity. And it's a good job compared to the people around him, many of whom are desperately impoverished. It's an impossible situation for them...
That said I've been wondering for half the story if the two missing workmen were the culprits!
And great reveal!
Come hang out in the Discord server! Just make a Discord account and click this https://discord.gg/fv2bAVVUBQ to join. Discord can be a little intimidating, but we keep our server simple and are always happy to help people learn their way around!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2023
Posts: 569 Likes: 88
Columnist
|
|
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2023
Posts: 569 Likes: 88 |
Peixinho, yaaas! There is so much Agatha Christie technique in this story structure! (Obviously nowhere near on her level, but it's where most of my mystery familiarity comes from.) This is one of my worst nightmares, unironically.
It's a lot of people's nightmare. That’s why I said I wasn’t sure there was really a villain. I can’t think of them that way. What I’m really angry about is the injustice and inequality that lead people to make bad decisions.
I didn't find it natural to think of them as villains, either. In a world with a lot more equality and equity, few people wold make decisions like this. Bakasi, thanks for commenting! This is so typically Lois to walk down the one passage she shouldn't.
And now that she and Clark are closer, she can really flaunt it! I thought the Egyptians might have their hand in this when they let on that they are not happy about the Americans digging through their history.
It seemed like a worthwhile motive. Anna, "Well, sure,” she teased. “Leave it to the farmboy to think three thousand years old paintings of a wheat are cool.”
OMG, thank you for being the ONE person to laugh at this. :hug: I really like how everything clicks, and they both know it. ❤️
So glad you like how this was shaped. Since Clark had already decided to tell her, why not just tell her? This was a great chapter!!
Thank you very much! I really appreciate that. Verity, you read this SO fast! So happy that you enjoyed the reveal. Also, it IS an impossible situation. I have a couple of acquaintances there any it's the same, sad story over and over. The useless university degrees just break me. They all deserve better.
Looking forward to this summer's Location Challenge! Looks like stories are due around August 1st, and then polls open for voting! And don't forget about the 2026 fundraiser! Head over to the Fundraising page to donate or consider adding a story to the Keepsake Collection fundraising drive!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 4,135 Likes: 79
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 4,135 Likes: 79 |
“You alright?”
“Yeah, it's just sore from trudging through all this sand.” She could not wait to get back to Metropolis and the ease of asphalt and pavement. “Ready?” she asked Clark.
“Ready, partner.”
That pretty much wraps up who these intrepid reporters are...ready to go through sand, mud or asphalt to crack a story! “Zaid, Wahid, and Gamal have been stealing from the tombs for years,” she continued. “When the Project came, they joined to try and stay close to what was happening here. But then the more thorough you were and the deeper the exploration went, the more they realized that they couldn't get away with it forever. So they tried to scare you off and sabotage the Project.”
See? No crazy mummy just three very much flesh and blood men causing the problems. Excellent story!
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
|
|
|
|
|
