Love is worth the risk... isn't it?
An alternate ending to "Contact"
“And so that’s why I came. To tell you…” Oh, goodness, he’s tearing up. This cannot be good news, and it had better not be what I think it is.
“To tell me what?” I’m trying to keep my voice even, but I can tell that it’s coming out choked as I’m trying to blink back tears.
“To tell you…” Clark swallows hard, turning away, but I can see a single tear rolling down his cheek. “To say…” Don’t say it. Don’t say goodbye. Not again. Not after everything we’ve been through. “We can’t be together anymore, Lois.” There it is. He dumped me. I cannot believe that he’s leaving. After everything we’ve been through, and he’s leaving me. “I’m sorry, Lois…” He looks off to the side with that distracted, half-listening look he always gets, and I know he’s getting ready to leave. He’s going to leave, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
“I have to-”
“Wait!” My body moves almost without thinking, as I reach out to grab his cape. He stops, and stiffens, but doesn’t turn around.
“Lois, please don’t-”
“No.” This is one fight I’m not about to lose. “Listen to me.” Please, would you turn around, and stay, and listen for once?
“Lois-” He protests, and I can feel him pulling away, the cape starting to slip from my hands.
“No.” I tighten my grip, knowing full-well he could fly away, and rip it, if he wanted to. “Clark, we did not go through everything we went through in the last few weeks for you to back out now.” Please, stay. Don’t leave me, Clark. Not again.
“Lois, I can’t-” Finally, he turns around to face me, his face twisted in anger, and stained with tears. Good. Now I have his full attention, and I’m ready to fight with everything I’ve got to make him see this my way.
“Can’t what, exactly? What makes you think that breaking up with me is going to make me any less of a target? Clark, I’m a reporter. And that means that I sometimes get involved in things I shouldn’t. But it’s the only way I know how to get the story. You know I got into some pretty awful scrapes before I even met you?” He raises an eyebrow. Ok, so they were slightly… different scrapes, and I’ll admit, I did get a little careless when he came into town, but it’s part of the job, being a reporter. How can you ever get the story if you’re not willing to get in on the action? “Hm?” I give him my best, “how about that” look in response. “It is not your fault, and I wish you would stop acting like it is. Furthermore, the damage is already done. For years now, you have saved me, and loved me, and the whole world knows it. What difference is it going to make now, if you pull away?” Please don’t pull away, Clark. “Do you remember,” I start, a memory coming to surface as I sit up on my knees, moving closer to him. “What you said when we were on Spencer’s island? We are stronger together. Clark. Please, don’t run away again. I love you.”
He sighs. Great. I just poured my whole soul out to him, and all he has to do is sigh.
“Lois, I-”
“Clark, please.” I wipe away a stray tear, before releasing his cape, so I can put my hand on his shoulder, instead. “Don’t do this to me. Not when I-” No, now is not the time or the place to tell him I was going to marry him.
“When you…” He prompts, and all my fears come crashing back into me. I can’t marry him. Not if he’s going to leave me like this. Not when he could so easily break my heart.
“Forget it.” I pull my hand away, swiping harshly at another tear that somehow managed to escape. “Go. Fly away. Like you always do. I’m sure there’s people that need saving somewhere.” Turning away, he moves to the window, and my heart drops. The last of my willpower gone, I give in to the sobs that have been threatening to escape, burying my face in my hands, and wishing I could change everything.
“No.”
“No?” I look up through the tears to see Clark still standing in the window, leaning on the side for support, just as he turns back around to face me.
“No.” He repeats, jumping down into the room, and crossing to the bed. “I’d rather stay here. With you… if that’s alright.” I’m… stunned. Completely, and totally speechless… which is not an easy feat. He really did it. He’s staying. He chose to stay. He chose me.
“Oh. Clark!” Throwing my arms around him, I smile though tears, now for a different reason. “You’re really not going to leave?” His arms come around me in support, the way he’s done hundreds of times before.
“No.” There it is again. I never thought I’d be so happy to hear the word no.
“You’re right.” Of course I’m right. “We’re stronger together. But Lois, you have got to stop-” And just like that the moment’s ruined.
“Stop what, Clark?” I can feel myself starting to get defensive, pulling away from him. Ok, he stayed, but he still feels the need to lecture me? “Stop doing my job? Going after stories? You know I can’t do that.”
“Yes, I know, but-”
“Clark.” I take a deep breath, and place a hand on his shoulder, in an attempt to calm both of us down. “You have to stop worrying about me. I’ll be fine.”
“I can’t help it, Lois.” His eyes begin to shift about the room, eventually landing on the floor. “I worry, because I care.”
“And I love it that you care.” Really, I do. It is sweet how he worries, but lately, it’s been getting on my nerves. “But you cannot hover around me like a guard dog, or a babysitter! I’ll be ok. Really.” I’m overwhelmed with deja vu, but I can’t quite place… oh, that’s right. “You know, it’s just like when Trevino was threatening me. I had never seen you so scared. And you know what that did? It scared me. But you were there then, and you’re here now. I trust you. I always have. You just have to trust yourself.”
“Lois, there are limits to what I can do.” He states the obvious as if it’s a world-changing discovery.
“I know that. I’ve always known that.”
“You were hurt today, because of me.” Oh, here we go again.
“Clark, what happened today was not your fault. It was mine. I was in the wrong place, at the wrong time. If you hadn’t been there, it could have been much, much worse. For everyone involved. You cannot honestly think that I’d be safer without you.”
Silence. Honestly, a rebuttal might be better than the suffocating silence which has now descended on us. It’s probably only been a few seconds, but it feels like an eternity before Clark finally looks back at me, and crosses to the bed to sit beside me. Still, he doesn’t say anything, just looks at his hands, obviously very deep in thought. Finally, he looks back up, staring out the window, and takes a deep breath.
“I’m afraid, Lois. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. And the thought of losing you…” He trails off, turning sharply away, but not before I can hear the crack in his voice, and see the tears rolling down his cheek.
“I’m scared, too.” Shifting so I can face him, I realise that if I want him to be honest with me, I have to be honest with him.”I have never- will never- love anyone as much as I love you. And that’s scary, because it means being vulnerable. It means knowing you could hurt me if you ever left, and choosing to let you in anyway, and that…” I have to stop, as even the thought has left me speechless for a moment, before wiping away yet another tear and continuing, “is just terrifying. But love is worth that risk. Isn’t it?”
Turning to face me, Clark smiles for the first time today.
“Yes. Yes it is.” And then he’s kissing me, and before I know it, we’ve ended up curled on the bed together, with his arms around me, and my head against his chest.
“Good.”
After a while, and right as I’m just about asleep, Clark speaks again.
“You were… going to say something earlier… what was it?” Oh, right.
“Hmm… just that…” There’s still a tiny little sliver of doubt, but I think I’ve been through enough in the last few days to know that the risk is always worth the reward, especially where Clark is concerned. However, I can’t stifle a yawn as I lean further into Clark’s chest. “Just that I love you, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together.”
“What?” Clark goes completely rigid underneath me, and despite how wonderfully warm, and comfortable this position is, I know this is a conversation we should be able to see each other for, so, shifting slightly, I turn until we’re face to face, though still lying down. I don’t think I have enough strength right now to sit up.
“I thought about it, and… there’s no one else I would rather spend the rest of my life with, but you.”
“You’re serious?” His face lights up with a smile brighter than a thousand suns.
“Of course I’m serious. I love you. And I can’t wait to marry you.” Kissing him again, I can’t help but giggle as he rolls us over, and, to my surprise, starts floating.
“Me either.”
