Summary: Miss Lois and her Clark visit Smallville on their hunt for government overreach. An entry in the ‘Miss Lane’ series by Queen of the Capes.
Hi FoLCs!
Let me get started by wishing our resident Queen of the Capes the very happiest of birthdays!
The next thing I need to address is that annoying little part counter at the top of the post. See, I really wanted (she threatened pointy sticks!) to get something ready for Mary’s birthday, so this story will go up in several shorter parts as they expand on the universe Mary created with
To Each, Their Own and
Punishment.
Thank you, Mary, for letting me play with the toys! I promise to only hurt Clark the way he likes it
And in order to avoid the A/N being longer than the actual fic, I’ll leave you now as you board Superman Airways on your trip to Smallville, Kansas!
Michael
Disclaimer: The recognizable characters and settings in this story are the property of D.C. Comics, Warner Bros., December 3rd Productions, and anyone else with a legal right to them, and I have no claim on them whatsoever, nor am I profiting by their use. It’s just the original stuff, that would be mine, written down to bring some entertainment to other FoLCs.
Rating: PG
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Part 1 /
TOC /
Comments**********
“If Irig’s around, somebody here will know about it. That’s the great thing about a small town.”
Lois looked around the town square full of cheery
Farmer Joes and
Janes as the banjo music did its best to evoke a sense of
The Waltons’ Day in Town for her. But there was no fooling her into believing the innocent act. Clark might be oblivious to it, but why would such a peaceful little town need more lawmen strutting around the place than they had sitting in front of the
Donut Inn at any given day of the week in Metropolis. Perhaps Perry had been right after all. Not about the environmental crap of course, but something was going on in this town and Clark with all his abilities still wouldn’t—
“What’s the matter, Mistress?”
Oh god, had she been daydreaming? That wouldn’t do. And discussing the very suspicious handcuffs-to-men ratio of his hometown right now wouldn’t help matters either. She needed to come up with something to say. Anything, really. “Dorothy.” She paused just long enough to take a breath and let her train of thought find its own track. “I feel like Dorothy. Shouldn’t a tornado be flying me off to Oz pretty soon?” There, that should cover up her daydreaming nicely.
“Bad metaphor, Mistress. Dorothy
wanted to get back to Kansas.”
“Technically…” Did he just talk back to her? Some very rural dresses caught her sight. Fluffy and baby blue infantile… That wasn’t her style but her boy…toy needed a refresher in how to show proper respect. No. No, that wouldn’t work. After accidentally peeking behind
that particular curtain in one of Metropolis’s higher end clubs, she just couldn’t picture Clark dressed like Betty Boop. She shuddered and looked around. Where was Clark anyway? Then she saw him! Not looking at her but rather at some strawberry blonde in a uniform. Quickly, she pasted on a smile and made her way over.
“…old times’ sake,” the blonde said with a big smile on her face. And not a pasted on one, either. No, this one was—ugh—genuine.
Lois quickly walked over and planted herself next to Clark, still with a pleasant fake smile on her face.
“Uh, Rachel, Lois Lane. Miss Lane, Rachel Harris.” Clark’s introduction came barely a moment later. Practically immediately for any regular human man. “And I guess that’s Sheriff Harris now.”
“Old times’ sake?” Lois interjected before Clark could ask
Sheriff Harris about her handcuffs. “You two been playing Sheriff and Bandit back in the day?”
“No!” The blonde paused a moment. “Well…as kids, I guess. We all did! Remember, Clark? You never got away with kidnapping Lana from the farm?” She winked at Lois. “Would you believe that I caught and arrested him every single time?”
“No, really?” Lois drawled with extra sweetness in her voice.
Lana, huh? “Did you tie him up with a lasso when you caught him?” Clark suddenly started to cough next to her. Probably swallowed a bug.
“Yeah.” Blonde curls bounced as the other woman shook her head and gave the most girlish snort imaginable. “Anyway, Clark was talking about us doing the tush-push that time he took me to senior prom.” The sheriff took a beat, looked at Lois, then Clark, and then back at Lois before her eyes widened. “Oh, you two…” She looked back at Clark, her index finger moving back and forth to indicate both reporters. “When did you two…?”
Lois froze. They had not discussed that aspect on the trip here.
Why had they not discussed that aspect? She pressed her teeth together and continued to smile brightly and hoped she wouldn’t need new molars by the time she got back home.
“Miss Lane and I are completely professional, Rachel,” Clark answered quickly. A bit too quickly for her tastes.
“Yes!” Lois interjected. “We’re here on assignment. For the Daily Planet.” Her heart was beating a mile a minute now. This town wasn’t for her. She needed to get back to her regular self. “We
work together.” She started to poke at Clark’s arm. “Which we have to get back to now. It’s been a pleasure to meet you.” She blinked and took a breath. “Rachel.” There, she did remember the name.
Clark didn’t move. “Miss Lane is correct. The reason we’re here is…” He looked at Lois for a moment before turning back to the other woman. “Do you happen to know where Wayne Irig is?”
The sheriff bit her lip for a second. “Nope. Haven’t seen him in days. You know how he is these days. Always by himself ever since—” Her walky-talky squawked something even someone fluent in subway couldn’t make out. “Oops, duty calls. See you later on the dance floor, Clark! Nice to meet you, Lois. We need to swap more Clark Tales next time.” She waved and disappeared into the crowed.
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“So…you and the sheriff?” Mistress whispered to Clark. “Is it the handcuffs? The uniform?”
Clark swallowed and guided her in the direction of the food stands. He had smelled caramel apples and getting one for Mistress should help calm things down. He hoped. “Are you jealous?”
“Jealous?” She laughed. “Why would I be jealous of a blonde in a uniform?” She patted his chest. “Relax. I’m just trying to figure out what you saw in her. All perky and sunshine.”
“She wasn’t wearing a uniform back in high school, you know?” What else could he say? “And we didn’t
date. We just went to prom together after Lana dumped me.”
“Lana?” There was a flash of something in Mistress’s eyes. “Dumped? Clark, what secrets haven’t you told me yet?”
“No secrets. You already know everything!” He did not like the look in her eyes. What had he been thinking, suggesting that he and his dominating little secret visit his childhood home? He really needed to distract her. Where were those caramel apples…?
“Hah!” She poked a finger into his chest. “Now I know that you’ve been holding out on me because
everyone has secrets. Especially in those quaint little towns where everyone is supposed to know everything about everyone else. And yet…” Mistress’s eyes got that dreamy, far-away look she always got right before she got particularly creative. “And yet, there’s always a secret. Someone embezzled money from the town coffers. A cow that got mowed down by high school rowdies.” She got into a really quiet whisper. “An alien that hides amongst the natives after a crash landing.” She looked around and continued in her normal conversational volume. “Everyone has a skeleton in their closet.” She pointed towards a barbecue stand. Huh, must be a new grill. “Just look at that guy in the apron flipping burgers.” Lois paused while she made sure his gaze followed her outstretched finger. “What do you wanna bet that Farmer Joe and his wife are using that spatula for more than flipping burgers?”
Clark froze as her statement formed a mental picture in his head. His mouth was suddenly bone dry. He needed to swallow. And he needed to not cough because doing so would convince the entire town he had asthma. He turned to look at Mistress. He looked into her eyes. Remembered how strict they looked back at him when she watched him drink vinegar with tabasco on the rocks. He swallowed. Carefully.
“Clark?” Mistress was poking him again.
“Clark?” a different voice called from the direction of the spatula.
He swallowed and looked at Mr. and Mrs. Farmer Joe as Lois had so colorfully put it.
“Clark!”
Swallow. Breath. Smile. “Hi Mom!” And when his father turned towards him, spatula still in hand, he raised his hand in a return greeting. “Hi Dad!”
“
Mom?”
Another deep breath. From the sound of her voice, he knew there would be hell to pay. Later.
“
Dad?”
Yep, Mistress did not like it one bit when she stepped in it. She liked it even less when she thought it was his fault that she had stepped in it. It did not matter that he had no control over where she placed her dainty feet.
That, she had made clear very early on in their…relationship.
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This town had it out for her! Yes, small towns didn’t like the Big City. At least no one but Clark had heard that spatula remark. And by ‘no one’ she meant Clark’s parents, the female half of whom was rapidly closing the distance.
“You must be Lois.”
‘Lois’? She swallowed. “That’s me. Hi…Mrs. Kent.” What had Clark told them?
“Martha, please. Well, you sure are pretty.”
Martha turned to Clark, who still looked a bit queasy. “It’s okay if I tell her that, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know.” He pointed his outstretched hand at Lois. “Ask Miss Lane.”
‘Miss Lane’? That’s more appropriate. She smiled. “Thanks.
Martha.”
Martha’s eyes flickered between Lois herself and Clark before an eyebrow rose just a bit. At least Lois thought it did. Maybe it was paranoia. Small towns did that to people. She just didn’t realize it would happen so quickly.
“So, you kids must be starved. Jonathan! You got those burgers done already?” Then Martha looked back at Lois. “You do eat burgers, don’t you?”
Lois blinked. She looked at Clark. She took a breath. And then she said the first thing that came to mind, just so she could get back on top and consequences be damned. “Sure do! A nice, juicy country burger.” She shot a glance at Clark and let her tongue dart over her lips. “And give it a good slap on both sides!”
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TBC…
