Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: The Seductive Revenge PG13 2/2

Hmm, I don't know why people aren't commenting on this, Tayryn. Perhaps they find it just a little steamier than they expected. Now me, I've been waiting for Clark/Superman and Lois to get together since 1969, and I'm a bit tired of seeing them beating around the bush. Don't get me wrong - there are so many absolutely brilliant stories posted here in the gfic folder where Lois and Clark never progress past kissing, and I wouldn't have missed those stories for the world. But also make no mistake, I do like to see them taking their relationship further.

And as for your story, I got the feeling that seduction, desire and longing just took over and carried Lois and Clark along. And that's another thing I really love to see: love inexorably taking over, leading to lovemaking, and leaving Lois and Clark to deal with possible consequences afterwards. Or, just generally, forcing them to contemplate their new situation as lovers and forcing them to make decisions about the future.

I love the strong sense of physical desire and longing that just carried Lois and Clark away in your story. I love the seduction, in other words. This sentence, by the way, is one I adore:

Oh, wow, Tayryn. "I'm going to make you shatter in my arms..." And then he's going to "lay you down on your bed and start all over again..." What an exquisite, wonderful promise that was. And I'm sure he kept it, too.

If there is anything more I could have asked for in your story, I guess it might have been a bit more of "surveying the new landscape afterwards", if you get what I mean. Their night of lovemaking was so wonderful - what will the morning be like?

Please don't take this as any sort of criticism! On the contrary, I'm so grateful to you for giving the PG folder this piece of lovely eroticism. But I guess I'm really asking for a sequel. I'd really like to know a little about what happened to Lois and Clark afterwards!

In other words, welcome back with more stories!

Ann

I'm so happy to see you finished this. I have been waiting for it over in the Nfic section. That was great!

Jackie

Hello Ann and Jackie,

Thank you so much. I'm really new to writing and the feedback is very important me. I'd like to know if the story wasn't good and needed polishing. I always try to take comments constructively, as that's the only way for me to improve. Flaming is a not accepted but comments to improve are much appreciated.

I guess this was a little too steamy for this section. I'm hoping that thier love for each did came across in the story and the phyiscal aspect was a simply affirmation of it. I'm hoping that people still enjoyed it even if they don't comment on it.

As to the nfic part, I'm having trouble with one section and I can't get it to sound right when I'm typing it. It's only two paragraphs in the entire story holding up the nfic version. Everything else is finished except of those 2 paragraphs.

My Beta's coming over today and I'm going to bounce ideas off of her. I want to have this posted by this weekend, I hate having an unfinished story out there.

Thank you!

Tayryn

UH....I'll take that glass of wine now

FinLi

Hi Tayryn,

I'm afraid that I have to ask you to either remove or edit this section of your story. It was drawn to our attention by at least one reader that parts of it are beyond the PG13 limit of this section of the message boards, and on reading it the administrators agree that it's not PG13.

Please edit or remove this part as soon as possible, and post to let us know when you've done it.

Thank you.


Wendy
Boards Admin Team

i love love it and lois the little vixen great story

that a great line lol

Thank you lovesuper97.

I'm glad you enjoyed this story.

Tayryn

Hi everyone,

I will be removing part 2 of this story until I have time to write it to fit the PG requirements for this section.

Thank you everyone that has writen feedback and hopefully I'll be able to repost this soon.


Tayryn

Thank you, Tayryn; the Administrators appreciate your co-operation very much

It's not that we're trying to come down with a heavy stick here, but we do have a responsibility, not just to those not old enough to have nfic access or who don't wish to read nfic, but to our chief administrator, who as the site owner is the one who'd catch the flak if anyone decided to complain - and that has happened in the past.

I hope it won't take you too long to re-edit the story and get it back up for your readers' enjoyment.


Wendy
Boards Admin Team

Hi Wendy,

Every forum has thier rules that we need to follow. I didn't reliaze how risque it was but I can understand the request to remove it due to the content.

I have no idea when I'll be able to revise this to a PG friendly rating but as soon as I do, I will post it here.


Tayryn