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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
How nice to see you post this, DJ! I really enjoyed your two-part story about Lois's haircut, but this is so ambitious and well-written, it is interesting on so many levels, you are weaving together a number of hugely interesting plot elements, and you really make me feel that you can turn this into a rich, complex and wonderful story. As for my favorite part of this story - well, with my preferences, I can tell you I just loved the sweet, waffy and tenderly erotic interaction between Lois and Clark. I love it that they have a child, and you are going to make me even happier if you let them have another one. But, DJ! Please understand that I can take only so much when you endanger children. You are posting in the PG-13 folder, after all, and while I, a Swede, sometimes shake my head at the way that many American parents seem to accept that their kids get exposed to high levels of fictional violence, I hope that you will protect sensitive readers such as myself from too many bad and horrible things. In other words: Please, please, please don't let anything nasty happen to any of the children in this story!!! Once again, DJ, it's great to see that you, a newcomer, are posting such an ambitious and well-written story!   Ann
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Yes, this is off to a terrific, if not panic-inducing, start!  Great L&C interaction. Good villain, too -- but I'm with Ann; I can't take too much threatening of children... it's an interesting approach to getting rid of Superman, though, I must say. With Clark's overactive sense of guilt, this is gonna be an interesting ride... Good thing Lois is there to keep telling him that it's *not* his fault... Great title, too  PJ who can say from experience that nursing a baby is no bar to conceiving another one! 
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
TOC/ChiefPam -- Thank you so much for your comments! I really appreciate them. Sorry (well not really  )for the cliffhanger at the end but I wanted to make sure the readers were in anticipation of the next part. I don't really want to put any warnings on this story or give too much away. Let's just suffice it to say that I love kids and I'm trying to keep this story as close to a PG rating as possible. I don't know how the ratings work exactly. I just wanted to remind you though, that even in the show, kids were sometimes put in danger. Off hand I can remember the little girl in "Neverending Battle" who the billboard sign almost falls on. Then there was "Smart Kids", Luthor was going to turn their brains into sludge, experimenting on them. Also "Illusions of Grandeur", where the kids were being kidnapped. Those are just a few episodes I can think of, but what made the peril okay, was that the kids were okay, in the end. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,367
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,367 |
DJ!
I was happy to see you'd started posting already. I've seen the next few parts and I just want to reassure Ann and Pam that no child is going to be physically harmed.
It really is a great story - and DJ does a fabulous job of winding together several threads of plotting at the same time.
Sue
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605 |
Hi, This is a very good beginning. You've certainly got my attention! You've balanced your very scary A-plot with some very sweet interaction between Lois and Clark. Looking forward to the next part. Yours Jenni
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Dang RL! Dang it! This is a story I'd really like to journey along with, but - as with everything but vignettes these days - I doubt I'll have time to catch every segment. I did skim this first part though and was very impressed with your characterisations and plot. You have an easy writing style that makes reading the story a pleasure. And as for that cliffhanger and the build up to it  But did want to let you know that I think what I've seen of your story has been excellent, DJ. LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
 Aww, thanks everyone! You're comments are really appreciated. I have to give credit to my BR's. They've been so great to help me out with my grammar and punctuation issues. They've also kept me honest. LabRat I really hope you're able to find time to follow it. I know how busy you are. Part 2 is coming soon, just waiting on one last look from one of my BR's. Thanks everyone!
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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