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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Oh, this was great! Very sparse writing style, but you get their emotions across very plainly. And I love the backwards revelation: “And how do you know that? Are you Superman and you x-rayed in?”
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Several moments pass before I can form a coherent thought again.
She knows. There is no way she said that coincidentally.
I realize my jaw has dropped open. I close it, swallow hard and speak. “Actually, I only used my super-hearing. Can I come in now?” And she still doesn't let him  At least until he shocks her -- love that he's convinced it was an incredibly stupid thing to say, but it's the one thing that got her to open up. I love that "eventually"  Great ending. Great job, Anna! PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Oh, Anna...I simply loved it! 
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Columnist
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Very, very nicely done! I like the writing style a lot and just love the backwards revelation.
Great job!
Irene
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Beautiful and funny. Yes, Lois *should* torture Clark! But she didn't hold out long enough... ah, well.  Wonderful sequel!
"You need me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain. And you do love being the hero, don't you. The cheering children, the swooning women, you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice." -- Lex Luthor to Superman, Question Authority, Justice League Unlimited
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Good sequel!!  Jose 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Columnist
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Columnist
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This was incredibly cute. I like the first person style narratives from both perspectives. Usually I prefer the third person, but this just couldn't have worked as well if you had done it that way, so good job! Nice and waffy 
Spike: "There's a hole in the world...feels like we ought to have known."
-Angel
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Oooh, Anna! You posted! I loved BRing this story - it was fantastic. You already know what I think about this story, so I'll just say... it's hilarious and wonderful! <g> Dave (who thinks Anna needs to forget about school and spend more time writing <g>)
'I just kind of died for you;
You just kind of stared at me'
- Aurora, Foo Fighters
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Absolutely fantastic, Anna! I loved it! Everyone else has mentioned the reverse revelation, which I loved, and Pam mentioned the 'eventually'. Wonderful stuff! But I almost laughed out loud at this: I hate him. I despise him. I want him covered with tar and feathers and hung upside down from a tree to dry.  You have a great handle on the first-person present tense style here. It's sparsely written, yet the emotions and reactions flow through very clearly. And there's nothing here to show that English isn't your first language. Your writing is just getting better and better, Anna. This and the prequel are going straight on my Kerth list. And I want more from you!  Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Pulitzer
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Great job! I also loved the reverse revelation. Very cute and sweet story. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Pulitzer
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Hi, Love it! 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Anna, That was GREAT!!!! I loved it! I love this spin on the revelation ~NICOLE
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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Pulitzer
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Anna This is wonderful. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Tricia 
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Short as it is, I loved it!!
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Thank you all so much!! As I mentioned earlier, I was quite unsure about this story, so I'm very happy to see it being received so enthusiastically See ya, AnnaBtG. (who, ignoring Dave's advice, is off to study History for tomorrow's test...)
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Well, now that you've submitted this one to the Archive, Anna, I couldn't resist reading it after catching the first few lines while checking over the file. Absolutely adorable! Loved it to bits. I'm not usually a big fan of first person narrative, but this worked very well and I think using anything else wouldn't have been half as effective. Terribly cute. And this: “Who loves me?” I manage. “Clark, or Superman?”
“*I* love you,” he simply says. made me go all snuffly. LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Pulitzer
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Hi Anna,
I just finished reading both stories in this series. What fun! I can understand why these are your favourite stories that you wrote.
One phrase especially had my laughing aloud: oblong tea. it was a minor part of the stories, but it really tickled my fancy.
Joy,
Lynn
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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I’m going to comment here since Lynn already bumped up the thread! (And for anyone who’s wondering, Anna mentioned this fic and its first story as her favorites she’s written in this thread about the favorite fics you’ve written. :)) Hah! I love Lois’ little revelation at the end of the first! And in the second… OMG… the “Actually, I only used my super-hearing.” line is SO amazingly perfect…the way he just simply answers instead of trying to hedge more and then wonders if he can come in now. Gah! I love it! Sara
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Pulitzer
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Thank you for bumping this thread and leaving feedback! What a pleasant surprise! Lynn - yes!! Glad you liked this one! I'm ridiculously proud of it.  Sara - the revelation at the end of the first one really made the whole thing! Glad you girls enjoyed it! See ya, AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Hi Anna, Aaaand we can continue with Lois’s reaction Speechless, I watch him heading to the elevators…
…walking to the left of them…
…and taking the staircase leading to the roof.
He's dead meat. So, does she have access to Kryptonite? CLARK:   A woman who left the oven turned on after she was done cooking. She vaguely reminded me of Lois. he should not tell Lois that. What is she doing, breaking her pencils? So she has more to pepper him with. I hate him. I despise him Oh, the old “he loves me / he loves me not” game. The incompetent, lazy jerks! Can't a woman even berate her partner without everyone watching? I look down. I see a pile of… well, pencil remains. I wish it had been a Clark Kent doll. She could buy some Ken dolls. Point out their anatomical correctness. When Clark protests, she could raise an eyebrow and take out a pair of scissors to cut some paper. I have much better things to do than occupy my mind with his pathetic lies.
How could he keep that from me? /cocks eyebrow/ LOIS: What? "I. Am. Perfectly. Okay!" I think that the way I emphasize my words does not suggest that I'm okay, but I'd rather die than admit that to that hypocrite. Lois Lane asked me a question, and I left it unanswered. Yes, very dangerous. I take a deep breath and knock on the door. Then wait.
***
That peephole is a very useful invention after all.
I lean with my back on the door, careful not to make any noises.  "Lois, open the door, I know you're in there."
"And how do you know that? Are you Superman and you x-rayed in?" CLARK: No, you answered the question so you must be in. LOIS:  Actually, I only used my super-hearing. Can I come in now?" "Lois, please, let me explain!"
"You are free to explain."
"To your door?"
"Then break in."
"I don't want to do that, Lois, please."
This guy is beginning to get boring.
"I beg you, let me come in. I know I should've told you." He could try the window as Superman. Of course, once the Digger gets a photo of Superman pining away at Lois Lane’s window, things might take a turn for the worse. "Lois, I beg you, just let me come in and explain and I'll never bother you again."
You are almost there.
"Lois, please, I love you." Well, this certainly goes close to her being able to file a restraining order. revealing a beautiful Lois Lane in a state of shock.
"What did you just say?" And right now, as I look at this man, whoever he is, I know he is the one I love.
Although he has been a lunkhead. He’ll do more stupid things. Well…more and stupider things. "You have no excuse for not telling me earlier," I say quietly.
He's giving me the most beautiful smile as he reaches for my hand. "Will you forgive me?"
I smile back. "Of course I will."
He squeezes my hand and gives me another loving look. I can't help but play one last teasing on him.
"…Eventually." Oh that was the most adorable tale! And will she make it contingent on his bringing her chocolate from distant places?  Michael
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