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Joined: Jun 2003
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814 |
Well, I know this is a little departure from SWK, but let me know what you think.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, This is very interesting.  MAF
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 450
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 450 |
Kara. As in Supergirl, yes? <G> I know Nan's used the concept of children left over from Lord Nor's invasion, and GMTA, because both Jenni and I have had the same notions.  Nice little character sketch, Shayne. BrightFeather
“Rules only make sense if they are both kept and broken. Breaking the rule is one way of observing it.”
--Thomas Moore
"Keep an open mind, I always say. Drives sensible people mad, I know, but what did we ever get from sensible people? Not poetry or art or music, that's for sure."
--Charles de Lint, Someplace to Be Flying
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 111
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 111 |
It's a different flavor than SWK, perhaps partly because of the first-person POV. I'm impressed.
Wise of Clark to avoid adopting anyone until they've established as Kryptonian if he's going to end up with more than one.
This works for me as a stand-alone story; you've ended it on a very positive note.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Actually, Shayne did the 'children of the Nor invasion' thing way back in Hearts and Diamonds, Laura - but it's definitely very logical and makes for fascinating fiction. This is beautifully written, Shayne - poignant and very sad, from Kara's point of view, then suddenly hopeful as she realises that she might not be the only person who's 'different' any more. Really nicely done! Just one question: how did Clark find out about her?  Wendy 
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Oh, this was fascinating... poor Kara. (And how prescient of her mother to name her that!) There were a few unclear bits -- at first it seemed like this was Clark's first visit (actually, for a bit there, I wasn't even sure if it was Clark or Jonathan) but then she was reacting like he'd visited before, so I was a bit confused.
And how did he locate her? Investigate all the pregnancies in Metropolis & Smallville at the proper times and then watch the possibles? That'd be a lot of work, though if anyone could do it, it would be Lane & Kent. Or just keep an ear out for tales of mysteriously-started fires? Also a lot of work...
This really is a good premise -- we could get a *lot* of good stories along these lines. Actually, this could work in a story idea I abandoned years ago... but I can't think about that until I finish some other things.
Anyway, good job -- another quietly emotional vignette, which seem to be one of your specialties.
PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 457
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 457 |
Great little story.
I'm a fan of the POV, I liked not knowing at first, it unfolded before my eyes.
David (Going to look up the aforementioned stories)
'I just kind of died for you;
You just kind of stared at me'
- Aurora, Foo Fighters
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Shayne An excellent story!  Tricia 
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 184
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 184 |
Oh oh oh. I've just read Hearts and Diamonds again, and now I find this. I like it. Sure, there could be more explanation, but I don't think it needs it, I think it stands all by itself. We've got imaginations, we can fill in the gaps. Thanks you Helga
Knowledge is knowing that tomatoes are a fruit.
Intelligence is not putting them in a fruit salad.
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