Lois & Clark Forums Forums General Discussion Off Topic I'm pregnant!

I'm going to be a mother!

I'm excited, but I'm also anxious because it's my first pregnancy and though I'm over 30, most of time I feel like I'm still a teen. I don't know if I'm ready to be mother of somebody, but I hope that I can be ready when this baby arrives. I'm 7 weeks along and the due date is November, 13. So far I have been lucky: no morning sickness, no nauseas and no cravings. I hope the next months keep on smooth. A girl can dream, right?

Tips, advices? Anything that a first-time mother should know?

Andreia

Congrats!

Glad to hear you've not been sick. That part stinks.

You'll get lots of good advice, but from me...

Trust your instincts. God gave them to you for a reason. I know you might be like 'but what do I know? This is my first baby?' but trust your gut. If your gut, way deep down, says everything's fine, then it probably is. If your gut says call your doc, call your doc. Whatever it is - trust it. I've found both for me and others, that we *knew* even without being able to put it into words that baby was coming that day/next day. DH even made fun of me one morning three weeks before one kid was due - 3 hours later we were at the hospital. So trust your gut instincts .

Congrats again!!!!

Carol

Congrats from me, too. But good advice? Uh, I think it's a good idea to participate in Lamaze (and other, pregnancy-related) classes. Not because the pain is lessened (I wouldn't know about that because I wasn't there), but because it's a great networking opportunity. The mothers there will be the same mothers you will meet in kindergarten or at school meetings, and it is of great advantage if you already have a friend there before you get started.

Another tip (about cravings): They might be crazy, but just go with them. I remember the time where I felt the need to actually lick salt from my finger several times a day. When I asked my ob/gyn about it, he said not to worry about salt, if I got too much into my system, my kidneys and an extra glass of water would take care of it. (Which is why I didn't need to worry about swollen legs or high blood pressure. I had the swollen legs anyway, but not because of the salt.)

Best of all: All mothers like to torture pregnant women - especially first-timers like you - with horrid tales about everything from morning sickness to extra painful deliveries. Just grin - and take it easy. It won't be that bad, anyway.

About episiotomy: Yes, it is uncomfortable and tends to itch when healing - but if you tear, it's worse because the healing takes longer. Way longer. And believe me, you can tear all around the vagina, which can be highly painful for weeks to come. (Been there, done that...) Frankly, should I ever get pregnant again, I'd actually ask for an episiotomy, controversy be damned.

Congratulations! Yes, all good advice. Sleep on your left side when you get bigger. It's more comfortable because of the way the organs are arranged. Elevate your feet a lot as you get into your third trimester. You will get hot, you will get cold no matter the weather outside. Put on coats as your temperature indicates, not the weather. If you have specific issues in future, ask. Specific questions, ask Nan Smith. She has seven kids and multiple grandchildren and was a nurse. Most of all, have fun!
regards
Artemis, mother of 2, grandmother of 2

First: CONGRATS!

Second: (and illustrative of the fact that you will get contrary advice all over the place...) I've actually heard tearing heals better than episiotomy - the former creates natural jags that close together better than a straight, forced cut. A way to avoid the tearing altogether, however, (according to my mother - I haven't tried it yet :p ) is to get lotion/oil (talk to your doctor about what's appropriate for that area) and apply it every day, multiple times a day, for about six weeks prior to due date (I'd say birth, but obviously, you can't predict that beyond the due date!). It prepares the skin for stretching so it won't tear *or* need an episiotomy.

(Again, this is from my mom - but she did that three times and recovered way faster from that aspect of birth than any of my aunts, who did not do it/got episiotomies.)

Congrats!

Bethy

Congratulations! You're lucky with the morning sickness, that's a pain and a half. It could still strike at this stage, you're not really out of the woods with that until you hit your second trimester. Hopefully you'll be lucky and not get it, though.

I'd like to second the recommendation to ask Nan Smith questions. She's great at answering questions the best she can and will tell you if it's outside her knowledge and not try to fake it.

Let's see, pregnancy advice. Feel free to ignore anyone who starts telling you horror stories. Also, feel free to tell anyone who wants to touch your stomach, especially when you get bigger, to keep their hands to themselves! It's weird how some people seem to think that if you're pregnant, they can say and do whatever they want to.

And you probably won't be ready when your little one makes their appearance. I certainly wasn't and, from what I've heard, no one really is. Just do the best you can and it'll all work out

Tara

Absolutely agree with this. In fact, feel free to tell people to stop talking about horror stories in front you. Pregnancy and birth are hard enough without having horrible images in your head.

I suggest hanging out at http://www.mothering.com/discussions/ a bit. I've learned so much there.

And, finally, watch out for the nosebleeds.

Lisa
27 weeks 5 days pregnant

Congratulations!!

Enjoy, relax and as Carol said, trust your instincts. Nobody else can mother your child better than you can.

Rest, rest and more rest. In my experience, things go downhill quickly if you get tired. So, if you're tired, close the curtains, take the phone off the hook and go to bed, regardless of the time of day.

As others said, ignore the horror stories. My biggest baby was also the easiest. 50 minutes of almost pain-free labour, and there he was.

And as others have mentioned tearing/cutting, I thought I'd add my 2 cents - I had 5 babies and not one stitch - no tears, no cuts. Maybe I was lucky, but it does prove tearing is not a given.

This is going to be a great time in your life. Have fun.


Corrina

Congratulations!!

Wow, this is the second announcement I've heard in a day (and second one with none of the icky symptoms as well). I wonder if I missed the memo. No one's ever truly ready beforehand, but it'll be amazing.

Congrats,
JD

Congratulations!

True, I've heard that, too. But then, I happened to tear (heavily) towards the front, and one of the tears didn't heal completely because the surtures came undone a little bit too early. Only when the present midwife saw that I was already torn, she finally did the episiotomy, so I got to experience both tearing and the cut at the same time. And, believe it or not, the cut, although it still itches occasionally (which I can easily ignore) healed much faster and with less pain and much less itching than the tears I suffered.

Another good point of advice I am sure everybody will agree upon: Don't let it bother you when other mothers tell you what their children can/could do at what age. No matter who tells her stories, your child will always look bad in comparison. Why is that? Well, for one, proud mothers only tell you about the *good* stuff. Second, they tend to exaggerate shamelessly. Third, there are phases where a baby sleeps through (for example), and its mother will tell everybody about it. But surprise, this phase usually ends, and guess what? You won't hear about it until you meet that particular mother at night, going for a walk with her squealing baby. Fourth, some mothers even lie outrageously when it comes to their (always absolutely perfect) children.

Just go with this: Unless an expert (like your pediatrician and - maybe - your mother) tells you otherwise, your child is perfectly normal. Note that mother-in-laws as a rule do not make for good experts: Her son was the perfect baby (as were his siblings), and compared to him, yours always comes up short.

About sleeping through: If you are lucky, and your child starts sleeping through before it reaches three months. Besides, your child may sleep through most of the day. Congratulations. Being a mother can be so easy, and you are incredibly lucky.

On the other hand, there are children who don't sleep through until they are four years old and even refuse to go to sleep easily during daytime. Instead, they stare at you (and everything of interest) with wide, curious eyes and want to be occupied with something new every five minutes before they are half a year old. If your child is like this, congratulations: Your child shows early signs of high intelligence. It's hard work, but it's so rewarding.

I'll add my congrats to the others... I'm so happy for you!

Advice:

Drink ginger ale if you're sick; the ginger and the carbonation can both help.

Sleep on a waterbed. If you don't have one, when you're pretty far along, see if you can rent one 'cause they support you better than a flat mattress.

Do childbirth classes of some sort -- my labor with my second baby came on quick and I ended up going through transition while on the way to the hospital. The point of the breathing is to help you relax; when you're relaxed it really doesn't hurt as much. Honest. I also learned exercises to do when things ached, and it's good to get to know other mommies-to-be.

Your body knows what it's doing. So don't worry too much if you feel like you don't.

When you're 8 or 9 months along, it can be pretty entertaining to watch your bare belly while the baby shifts and creates moving lumps on the surface.

It will feel like forever, but honestly, you'll only be pregnant for a very small percentage of your lifetime, so try to enjoy it.

After the baby's born, try nursing. If you don't like it or it doesn't work out for whatever reason, you can quit, but if you never try you'll never know. Mother's milk is better for babies than formula. Plus when you go out you don't have to pack bottles Although you do have to watch what you eat; my son reacted badly if I ate onions, and my daughter reacted very badly when I ate chocolate. And one time the contents of the diaper smelled distinctly garlicky

Most important -- if at all possible, plan to sleep with your baby for the first six weeks or so; both of you will sleep better that way. To avoid the worry of rolling over on her, I slept on a recliner with my daughter. She woke up every few hours; I'd wake up just enough to nurse her and change her diaper, and then we'd both go back to sleep. I had supplies at hand so I didn't have to get up at all. That was *so* much better than when my son was in the bassinet and I had to get up out of bed three-four times a night, and then wait and try to get him back to sleep before setting him back in the bassinet (at which point he'd often wake up again) and then finally crawling back into my bed. That was exhausting and crazy-making; avoid it if you can.

PJ

Thank you for all the advices, girls. I have an appointment with my doc next Monday and I'm going to talk to her about some of the suggestions.

I'll have a four month leave and I intend to nurse during this time. I wanted to keep nursing at least the first year, because I know it's important. When I go back to work I'll have to see how I'll manage it.

If you have some more advice, it'll be welcome. And congratulations, Lisa.

Welcome to the club! I never made an official announcement, but I am due with my first child later this spring.

And I hate to say this, but I didn't feel like crap until about 10 weeks into things. And then it lasted for about a lifetime.

My advice: If you find something you can tolerate eating, don't feel guilty for eating it five days in a row. I was like that with macaroni and cheese and lemonade, but it was the only things I really could eat without throwing up. I got my appetite back about 20 weeks along, and now I don't even want to look at macaroni and cheese.

And I second the ignoring of everyone's horror stories. You can only hear people talk about what tore and what didn't come out and what did come out so long before you start to go crazy. Every pregnancy is different.

Thank you! You, too. (Can't believe I forgot to say that before!) I'm very excited about all the new little FoLCs joining us in '09!

Congrats Andreia and Lisa!

Mona

I'd like to second Pam's suggestion of sleeping with your little one. I would never have gotten any sleep with my first otherwise, he was a horrible sleeper. You'll probably get more sleep and it'll be easier if your breastfeeding.

Tara

ps, is there a club ? How many of us are pregnant right now? I haven't made an official announcement yet, either, but I'm about 10 weeks along, now.

I have an announcement...

I'm *not* pregnant .

I would love to be pregnant again but DH says we're done at 4...

Personally - I *could* *not* sleep with my kids in bed with me. Or a recliner. I absolutely could not sleep. I did very well with them in a bassinet next to me. I would nurse in bed and then back to bed, but I've been blessed, overall, with good sleepers. DS' health problems meant that I was up with him a minimum of every 3 hours for... 6-8 months. The last two months of that was more like every 90-120 minutes. Talk about sleep deprivation...

My advice there - see what works for you and baby .

Carol

I think we're up to four with me, Starkat, Lisa and Andreia.

Clearly, some of us have spent less time watching L&C and more time, uh, doing other things. We're baaaad FoLCs.

Woo! Sleepless FoLCs club! We'll have to resurrect the loisclark channel on IRC for when we're all up in the middle of the night!

LOL, yes, I remember when Michael was a baby, going on IRC and getting to know all the Aussie & Kiwi folcs real well

edited to add:

It can be done, I'm told, but I'm sure it's a challenge. But, you know, even if it ends there, four months is better than nothing... as baby gets bigger you won't be nursing as much, anyway, so it might end up that you give breakfast and dinner, and let someone else provide lunch. Anyway, do the best you can, and don't worry about what you can't.

PJ

p.s., do you have Cheerios & Goldfish in Brazil? Those are terrific finger foods, and are universally popular among moms I know