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Ooops, doubt post. I better come up with a #54 right and quick. Let's see: Rule #54: Never mention Lois's romance novel to ANYONE! Yep, that will do. 
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Pulitzer
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Rule #55: In addition to the aforementioned chocolate, be sure to stock up on ice cream. Vanilla is definitely to be preferred to rocky road.
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Features Writer
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Rule #56 If your boyfriend has a barber named Waldo, said boyfriend is either very confident or he knows people who know people.
"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
"Fun will now commence" 7of9
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Features Writer
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RULE # 57 Lois,girlfriend, always take Waldo's phone calls.
"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
"Fun will now commence" 7of9
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Originally posted by SJH:
Rule #56 If your boyfriend has a barber named Waldo, said boyfriend is either very confident or he knows people who know people.
RULE # 57 Always take Waldo's phone calls.
Hmmm. These sound like rules for living with Clark, not for living with Lois. I'll move them over to this other thread: Clark Kent 101: Rules to Live by
Last edited by VirginiaR; 05/09/14 12:00 AM. Reason: Fixed broken Link
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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New Rule #56: If Lois gets a haircut, it may or may not have to do with you.
- #56a) It may be because her viewpoint on life has just changed, (because she found out she's in love with a man who moonlights in tights)
- #56b) Or it may have to do with the ease of getting ready in the morning.
- #56c) Either way, she prefers the little white lie, if you don't like it. If it looks horrible (which it can) and you're like me and you really don't want to lie, be as complimentary as possible without telling her you hate it. I prefer to give her the small compliment and then ignore it until she cuts it again into a more complimentary style.
- #56d) Don't forget: it doesn't matter what her hair looks like, she's still Lois Lane underneath.
New Rule #57: Always offer her a taste of your chocolate dessert. If she really wants it, she'll just take it anyway -- so you might as well give her a polite out.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by Lynn S. M.:
Rule #55: In addition to the aforementioned chocolate, be sure to stock up on ice cream. Vanilla is definitely to be preferred to rocky road.  Duh! How could we have forgotten ice cream? Good one, Lynn!
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Rule #58 - If Lois is unable to be found, check the three likliest places.
- 1: The Daily Planet
- 2: Her favorite ice cream joint of the week.
- 3: Dangling over the jaws of death.
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
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#59 - To turn off babble mode, apply your lips to hers.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram:
#59 - To turn off babble mode, apply your lips to hers. Aaaaaaaawwwww!!!  How sweet! 
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram:
#59 - To turn off babble mode, apply your lips to hers. #59b: Repeat as often as necessary.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Mouse - Virginia - Awww!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Pulitzer
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Originally posted by VirginiaR:
New Rule #56: If Lois gets a haircut, it may or may not have to do with you.
- #56a) It may be because her viewpoint on life has just changed, (because she found out she's in love with a man who moonlights in tights)
- #56b) Or it may have to do with the ease of getting ready in the morning.
- #56c) Either way, she prefers the little white lie, if you don't like it. If it looks horrible (which it can) and you're like me and you really don't want to lie, be as complimentary as possible without telling her you hate it. I prefer to give her the small compliment and then ignore it until she cuts it again into a more complimentary style.
- #56d) Don't forget: it doesn't matter what her hair looks like, she's still Lois Lane underneath.
New Rule #57: Always offer her a taste of your chocolate dessert. If she really wants it, she'll just take it anyway -- so you might as well give her a polite out. New Rule #56b and a half: Or it could be because she has found herself in a Tank story. Joy, Lynn
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Pulitzer
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram:
#59 - To turn off babble mode, apply your lips to hers. Wonderful! Joy, Lynn
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#60 - When Lois says that she doesn't need or want you around, that's usually when she needs you the most.
#61 - When Lois is being threatened, it is perfectly acceptable to keep watch over her apartment all night long. Chances are, she'll need you close at hand.
#62 - Exposing Lois to your Kryptonian birth-wife will bring out intense feelings of jealousy.
#63 - To bring Lois out of her shell and start the process of friendship building, simply take to the Smallville Corn Fest.
#63a - Frequent exposure to the elder Kents is good for Lois.
#64 - Do not expect Lois to automatically be happy for you when you are nominated for an award and she isn't.
#65 - Lois plays every game to win.
#66 - Ethics according to Lois: It is acceptable for her to x-ray your butt to check out your underwear. It is not acceptable for you to x-ray her butt to check out hers.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram:
#63 - To bring Lois out of her shell and start the process of friendship building, simply take to the Smallville Corn Fest.
#63a - Frequent exposure to the elder Kents is good for Lois. I'll accept this one, but please keep in mind that Alt-Clark has lost his parents so there are no elder Kents for him to expose alt-Lois to. This list is: Lois Lane Manuel if canon Clark made such a book for Alt-Clark (after he found alt-Lois, of course) I'll keep it because this manuel would also be helpful for a Clark who has lost his memory.  #66 - Ethics according to Lois: It is acceptable for her to x-ray your butt to check out your underwear. It is not acceptable for you to x-ray her butt to check out hers.   So true! I love how Clark assumes that Lois was just checking out his underwear.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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I'll accept this one, but please keep in mind that Alt-Clark has lost his parents so there are no elder Kents for him to expose alt-Lois to. This list is: Whoops! Keep forgetting that! I'll keep it because this manuel would also be helpful for a Clark who has lost his memory.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Originally posted by Shallowford:
Rule #67: If Ultrawoman comes to town, use any means necessary to ensure that Lady Zara is nowhere to be found. Just another reminder for the confused. THIS list (that you are currently reading) is written by Clark Kent for Alt-Clark on best way to woo Lois, keep her happy & safe, and stop her from driving Clark crazy (if possible). As opposed to: THIS list which is (I'm assuming) the same for Lois Lane (or Alt-Lois) for managing Clark/Superman (alt-Clark). (My assumption is based that I only started this list, not the other one. )
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Pulitzer
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: THIS list which is (I'm assuming) the same for Lois Lane (or Alt-Lois) for managing Clark/Superman (alt-Clark). (My assumption is based that I only started this list, not the other one. ) I'm not picky. As far as I'm concerned,t he rules can either be from Lois to alt-Lois, or from the reader to "our" Lois. I'm more interested in rules which capture Clark's preferences/behaviours/quirks, preferably in a humorous fashion. Of course, not all rules would apply equally well to both Clarks. Anything mentioning his own love of junk food, for example, wouldn't work for alt-Clark. Hmmm...Maybe *that's* why "our" Clark and "our" Lois get along so well -- they share a sweet tooth.  Joy, Lynn
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#68 - Lois may hate the holidays, but that's only because she hasn't yet spent them with you. Only you can change her mind about them.
#69 - It really is the little things that count. Bringing her a perfectly made cup of coffee will impress her more than flying off to Paris for a plate of cheese, especially once she knows your secret.
#70 - If she challenges you to not use your powers for an entire weekend, it's not cheating to use them to save her life.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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