“At the last second I realized there was someone there and I ducked. He still clipped me, but not as hard as he intended. I was only stunned for a few seconds. When I came to he was talking and I recognized his voice. It wasn’t who I thought it would be.”
“Who was it?”
Say,*what?* So, it isn't Jack Crane?
That's where all the evidence is pointing, right? If it isn't him, who is it? That new editor at the Met Star? Peter Parker? Bobby Bigmouth? Batman? (Okay, I was only joking about that last one; I'm betting he's older than Lois by this point, but he *is* a grumpy old man I bet.) I'm totally confounded on who it could be.
I was wondering what all that information about the Met Star was about, unless you were introducing them here for use in a future story. I am a little surprised that the DP doesn't have another reporter available to cover the trial, so that Lois has to, or is this just because she will be called as witness as UW?
Why did you change from prose to script format towards the end of this part?
I was also confused by this line:
Before they exited STAR Labs, Hattie pulled out her earpiece and put it on. She tapped it and heard, "Say a command."
I was wondering why she pulled it out of her ear and then put it back in.
It took me a couple of readings for me to realize you meant that she had taken it from her bag. (I'm not really a Bluetooth user, so I was a bit unfamiliar with what she was doing anyway.)
JJ is the strong silent type, isn't he? He doesn't say a word, take her hand in the back of the car to help calm Hattie down, or do anything of note. If Hattie hadn't kept mentioning that he was with her, I wouldn't have realized he was there at all until he started speaking at MPD HQ.
Why didn't UW tell the police that there had been a bombing / attempted murder on Main and Eighth? It does make me wonder if that's the Supers' M.O. Take care of something, but not report it to the police. If so, it would make Mayson Drake's dislike of Superman's vigilantism in S2 more understandable.
