Chapter 8Author’s Note: From now on all action takes place in canon dimension. The Clark is canon Clark. The Lois… well, the first Lois we meet is actually the substitute Lois taken from the past to hold the place of his true Lois, who currently is still in alt-dimension. The action in this chapter takes place starting with the final scene of Season 4.
As Clark and Lois – the substitute Lois – laid in bed after dealing with Fat Head and two sets of brain-cleared parents thanks to Dr. Lane’s Bummer-B-Gone, Clark heard a voice inside his head calling to him. He and Lois went downstairs and found a baby. It was covered by an identical baby blanket as his – ‘S’ shield and all – and was lying in his old bassinette, which his folks had had sent from Smallville. An accompanying note told them that this baby belonged to them. Clark wondered if this was his missing child from his missing Lois.
Both sets of grandparents came downstairs and Lois and Clark introduced them to the baby. Martha, Jonathan, and Sam were thrilled. Ellen was suspicious. As the older generation of men tossed about boy baby names, Ellen told Martha and Lois that if the child turned out to be a daughter that they should be on the look-out for Clark’s ‘a-ha’ moment, when he realized what scum men could be now that he had a daughter. Clark and Martha thought this theory was crazy. When Ellen went to investigate what supplies that the baby might have arrived with, she noticed the blanket in which the baby had arrived. Lois whisked her parents upstairs to do a weight and length check on the new baby and to change its diaper.
While the Lanes were upstairs, Clark realized that his folks no longer had memories of his missing Lois and their first grandchild. Ellen announced to them that the baby was a girl about three months of age, which fit into Clark’s estimation for his own child by the missing Lois. But if she was his missing daughter, where was his missing Lois? He had been with this Lois all afternoon.
Lois decided to name the child Lara – after Clark’s birth mother – and Clark suggested Lucia as middle name after her possible alias while pregnant. Everyone else thought he made the suggestion after Lois’s sister, Lucy. Jonathan and the elder Lanes rushed off to an all-night grocery to pick up baby supplies while Lois, Clark, and Martha tried to figure out from where the baby came. Clark didn’t care. He knew the baby was his and he was thrilled at the telepathic connection he had with his new daughter.
The next day, after spending most of the night trying to get her new daughter back to sleep, Lois and Clark spent the whole day getting to know their new daughter. The grandparents took Lois’s Jeep Cherokee to go buy more baby supplies and furniture. They arrived back shortly before dinner time with a car full of stuff and Chinese take-out. As everyone was enjoying their after-dinner fortune cookie, Ellen dropped the bomb that she and Sam knew that Lara was a ‘super’ baby due to her extra high heart rate and the blanket with which was wrapped. Only after her learning theory turned out to be that Lara was the secret baby of Superman and Ultra Woman did the Kents and Lois finally relax.
Lois convinced Clark not to tell anyone at the
Daily Planet – including Jimmy and Perry – about their new daughter until they could prove for a fact that she wasn’t a kidnap victim that had been placed on their doorstep (even though they already knew for certain that she wasn’t). Both sets of grandparents took baby Lara out for a walk in the park, in order to give Lois some time alone to relax for the first time in days.
While Lois got dressed, there was a knock on the door. H. G. Wells arrived to introduce Lois to Lara’s birth mother. The missing Lois (canon Lois) entered only to be slapped across the face by the substitute Lois, who thought she was the other dimension’s Lois who had kissed her (the substitute Lois’s) husband. Lara’s birth mother and H. G. Wells explained to Lois that this new Lois was in fact an older version of herself. As they described the circumstances in which Lois got pregnant (making love to Clark the night before he left for New Krypton), they re-introduced her to the other Superman, who had rescued the substitute Lois from the Clone. Then they convinced her that the only way for Lara to be born was for her (the substitute Lois) to return to her rightful place in time.
After the substitute Lois went upstairs to change into the pink suit she had been wearing the day the other Clark rescued her from the past, Lois (canon Lois) and the other Clark reminisced about their year together. H.G. Wells returned to the time-machine to wait as the other Clark promised to allow the substitute Lois one last goodbye to her daughter before heading back into the past. While upstairs, the substitute Lois called her husband at work to tell him she loved and missed him. Canon Lois and the other Clark shared one last goodbye kiss.
When the substitute Lois returned downstairs after changing, the missing Lois called her husband again to keep him occupied so that two Superman weren’t seen flying around Metropolis at the same time.
The other Clark flew the substitute Lois to the park to say goodbye to Lara and they both discovered that Martha and Jonathan had had their memories of the missing Lois wiped by the Bummer-B-Gone. They arrived back at the time-machine and H.G. Wells took them back in time. As they went, the other Clark admitted to Lois that he had not been thinking of his Lois when he had made love to her (canon Lois) on Halloween. She had one second to react before being bumped by the car and hit into the lamppost and her memories erased. Clark and H.G. Wells returned to the other dimension to celebrate a successful mission.
Meanwhile, over at the
Daily Planet, Clark was having difficulty with his new work excuse. He seemed so happy for a man with a sick wife and a house full of houseguests that he raised Perry’s curiosity. Clark asked Jimmy to develop the pictures they took of Lara during the weekend, but told him not to share them with anyone. The new father also had a run-in with Ralph, who had set off Clark’s father-of-a-daughter gene, after the slimeball made a derogatory comment about Penny, Jimmy’s girlfriend.
Clark’s wife called him while he was in the process of telling Ralph what everyone really thought of him and he blew her off, until he realized that Lois had mentioned that she missed him when she had called earlier and that his missing Lois might have returned.
Once on the phone with Lois, she informed Clark that she was alone at the house as the grandparents were taking Lara for a walk. When Clark didn’t catch her hint, Lois told him that she too could communicate with Lara telepathically and that she wanted to try to reach him that way as well. Lois sent Clark an image from her mind showing her jumping him in the newsroom and pulling off his clothes with no thought to exposing his blue suit to everyone. Finally realizing what his wife wanted, Clark started to run out of the bullpen, only to be stopped by Perry, who wanted to discuss what happened with Ralph. Clark – who had been given a time-limit by Lois to get home – blew Perry off with the excuse that Lois had a ‘hot lead’ for him.
Clark arrived home to find his wife in a black teddy and they made love. Afterwards they talked about Clark’s fears for his daughter and the reasons behind his strangling Ralph. Lois reassured him and they made love again. Clark then admitted to blowing Perry off with an excuse of a ‘hot lead.’ He decided that ‘hot lead’ was a great euphemism for afternoon-delight with his wife.
To get off the hook with Perry, Lois told him one of her ‘hot leads’ she learned about while in the other dimension. But she didn’t tell Clark that was where she learned about it or that she had been over there. Lois told him that she suspected that Lex Luthor, Jr. had a twin brother named Alexander, who would then be heir to Lex, Jr.’s estate including the
Daily Planet.
Her husband began to suspect that this Lois was his missing Lois, but had no idea how to know for sure unless she told him. If he was wrong, he would seriously be messing with the substitute Lois’s head… if there really was a substitute Lois to begin with. With his mother’s memories erased, Clark had no one else who knew about the missing Lois but himself.
After his parents, in-laws, and daughter returned home, Clark went back to the office. Perry yelled at him for his behavior and Clark used Lois’s information about Lex Luthor, Jr.’s twin to distract him. Jimmy came into the office with the photos he developed for Clark, along with a whole bunch of questions. Clark took him into the conference room and revealed to him that someone left Lara on their front doorstep and that he and Lois were now parents.
Lois tried to get Martha to remember that she had gone to the other dimension to have Clark’s child, but Martha’s memories were gone, making Lois feel alone with this knowledge. She also lost her one motivation for telling her husband the truth about their daughter’s origins.
Clark arrived home from work with a gravel rattle for Lara, news that he hired a lawyer to start working on Lara’s adoption (Constance Hunter from
Whine, Whine, Whine), and photos for everyone else. Lois was upset at Clark for telling Jimmy as she knew the information would surely reach their boss. The doorbell rung and there were Perry and Alice with chicken soup for the flu-addled Lois. As Clark answered the door with Lara in his arms, their secret was out.
Perry insisted that they contact the police and stated that they needed to write an article about finding a baby. It was decided that Lois needed to stay home with the baby on maternity/adoption leave, because Clark couldn’t take the time off. The unspoken truth was that Superman couldn’t take the time off. Frustrated about already having spent three months alone with a baby with what felt like no personal support and more than ready to return to work, Lois snapped and ran upstairs to their bedroom to try to manage of her out-of-control emotions. Clark joined her and tried to reassure her that as long as he loved her she would never be alone. Lois knew that it was only a matter of time before Clark learned the truth about her affair, at which time she believed he would no longer love her. She was anything but reassured.
The phone rang and it was Jack, who was living on the Kent farm as a ‘hired hand’ since he had become Martha and Jonathan’s foster child after leaving Metropolis. He told Clark that there was a girl who had been raped by the New Kryptonians during their invasion and she was about to give birth. The OB/GYN – Pete Ross, Clark’s old best friend – was demanding that Superman be present because the last one died during birth.
This news stunned Clark. Lara was no longer unique as the only half-Kryptonian child on Earth and the New Kryptonians were just as bad as any invading army, thus crushing any lingering hope inside of him about his birth planet and civilization. Lois, who had heard Jack’s plea for help (due to her improved hearing), snapped Clark out of his doldrums and sent him to Dr. Ross to help with the birth. Now that he knew that there was another Kryptonian/Earthling child, Clark acknowledged to himself that Lara might not be his birth daughter after all.
When he returned late that night, Clark apologized to Lois for not informing her about hiding Jack with his folks and that his foster brother knew about his Super side a year before she did. Lois accepted his apology without anger, knowing that she was keeping bigger secrets from him. They made love in the shower, so not to disturb baby Lara who was asleep in their room.
Afterwards, Lois reheated some lasagna she had made for dinner and Clark was curious about when, how, and where Lois learned to cook. His folks joined them at the table and Clark told the three of them what had happened in Smallville. The new baby – Peter Kent Ross – was adopted by Dr. Ross and his wife. Both mothers had survived and, other than the death of the first baby due to complications with the umbilical cord being invulnerable, the births were uneventful. This news spiraled Lois out-of-control as she realized that the complications from Lara’s birth happened to her only because she had been cursed.
As Lois sobbed herself to sleep – with Clark comforting her – she admitted to him that she missed when he used to sleep with her as Superman and wrapped her in his red cape as that always made her feel better. Clark had never done that with her and he wondered where that memory had come from. The realization that it might have been the other Superman caused him to feel like he had been stabbed by a Kryptonite knife.
The next day Lois acted like her outburst had never happened. She and Clark took Lara for a walk. Lois kept getting confused as she couldn’t remember if places and people she remembered were from this dimension or the other one. They ran into Inspector Henderson, who Perry had sent to find them, and eventually admitted that someone had left Lara in their care.
At their house, the policeman questioned them about Lara. Lois told them that she would claim to be Lara’s birth mother if it made the whole investigation go away. That was when Clark realized that his wife didn’t look like someone who had given birth three months earlier, causing him to once again doubt whether or not she was his missing Lois. She had another stressed-out meltdown about staying home with Lara and Clark was back on the fence. He wondered why she wasn’t telling him the truth if she was his missing wife or if it was just stress about being a new mother.
Over the course of the next week, Clark stayed home with Lois and Lara during the day to watch his wife and try to figure out which Lois she was. During the nights, he flew to Australia, Hong Kong and Singapore to investigate the lead that Lex, Jr. might have a twin brother. Being alone at night was spinning Lois back into the depression she had in the other dimension. She missed her husband and partner every moment he was gone.
One night Lois had a dream that Superman came to her to make love, only to start hearing Elvis singing and to wake up not knowing about which Clark she had been dreaming. Lois came downstairs, and as her mother was spending the night out with her father, fell asleep on the couch snuggled in one of Clark’s red capes. Clark returned home to find her as such and he carried her up to bed. She woke up and begged him to make love to her as she was feeling numb. Clark was worried about his wife as she wasn’t acting like the vibrant woman with whom he had fallen in love. He suggested that they ask Ellen to stay and watch Lara during the day, so that Lois could return to work.
Clark spoke with Ellen the next day, but she said she could only be Lara’s caregiver for one month and that after that they would have to find someone else to watch her. Thrilled, Lois finally returned to work as investigative reporter Lois Lane in her home dimension. But the mistakes between the two dimensions kept creeping up. She called Jimmy, James. She forgot that Lex Luthor wasn’t bald and was dead. And Perry’s ever-playing Elvis music caused her to be passionately drawn to Clark.
Upon hearing rumors that Ms. Pickles-and-Mustard had learned to cook, Bobby Bigmouth invited himself to dinner at the Kents’ townhouse. He informed them that Lex, Jr. didn’t have a twin brother, but a twin sister – Alexandra – one who was as beautiful and blonde as Lex, Jr. wasn’t. She was also a master of disguise, had several aliases, and had married into a crime family a few years before, taking it over from within. Bobby’s normal sources weren’t talking because Alexandra Luthor scared them.
Lois started to relax back into her old work routine. One day the ever-playing Elvis music at the office and her extra good hearing (due to having a pint of Ultra Woman blood coursing through her veins), caused her to lose control at work. She couldn’t stop herself from undressing her husband in the bullpen, until she finally asked Clark to leave. She had to get him away from her. Luckily, she was able to convince Clark that she was trying to warn him about a bank stand-off in Gotham City instead.
After Clark left for the stand-off, Lois confessed to Perry that she could no longer listen to Elvis music without becoming turned on. She told her boss it was a side effect to being exposed to some “Revenge” perfume that had spilled on her at home. She also admitted that it wasn’t Clark who had walked in on her while she was in her weakened state. Perry suggested that Lois make Elvis’s music their own, because he wasn’t going to stop playing it.
Meanwhile in Gotham City, Superman met up with Batman at the Bank heist. They worked together: Batman took out the robbers and Superman saved the hostages. After everyone was secured Superman tried to explain to Batman that the Caped Crusader’s methods were too violent. To himself, Superman wondered what he should do about this out-of-control vigilante. Batman told Superman that he wasn’t in charge of enforcing the ‘superhero’ code and uncovered a Kryptonite necklace so that they could talk on a more even playing field. Then he disappeared when Superman collapsed in pain. Clark did get one final glance at Batman with his x-ray vision.
A week before Ellen was supposed to leave on her cruise, Lois and Clark were still interviewing nannies. Lois told Clark she didn’t want live-in help, because she wanted him to be able to be himself at home.
Jimmy and Penny (Miss 97% from
AKA Superman) came to dinner and Jimmy’s girlfriend hit it off instantly with Lara. Clark was convinced that Penny would be the perfect nanny as she was looking for a daytime job with nights and weekends off, because she wanted to go back to graduate school in computer programming. Lois didn’t trust her (especially since Penny was known for having kissed Superman). Jimmy suggested that Lois and Clark hire Penny and his girlfriend jumped at the chance, practically begging for them to hire her. It was only when they overheard Penny asking questions of Clark to Jimmy, that they realized that Jimmy’s girlfriend was still looking for Superman.
During dinner, Lois not only messed up by confusing Jimmy with his other dimension’s counterpart James again, she also confused how many years she and Clark had dated and been married. Each time she messed up, Clark became more and more convinced that this woman was his missing Lois, but she still refused to confess the truth to him.
Several nights later, Lois worked late doing research for an interview on Bruce Wayne. When Perry left, he kindly left his boombox and Elvis music playing for Lois to ‘deprogram’ herself. She instantly changed it to the radio and got sucked into the music (not Elvis), burning off steam by dancing around the empty bullpen. At the end of the song, she realized the office wasn’t as empty as she thought as she heard someone clapping.
Superman floated down from the windows. He told her that her father had offered to watch Lara so that they could have a night off, just the two of them. Lois tried to convince her husband that Superman shouldn’t be seen alone with her at the
Daily Planet, but Clark didn’t listen. When the next song came on it was
Burning Love, which not only was sung by Elvis, but it was Lois’s song with the other Clark. Clark didn’t know this – or that Elvis’s music made her lose control –and tried to dance with Lois. Suddenly, she pushed Superman down on a desk and climbed on top of him, making out with him. He knew this was too much and flew off. Lois couldn’t believe that she had once again went crazy from Elvis music and was glad that at least no one had seen them. At that moment, Jimmy announced his presence behind her.
***
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