I have only read the first part of this, but I really like it. I know that most people here sided with Clark when he came to Lois as Superman after having been turned down by her as Clark. I know that most people here thought that Lois deserved to be rejected by him in turn, and I can understand their feelings. But because I spent years and years reading the comics and just waiting for him to come clean with her, my patience with him wore thin. More and more, I put the blame for what went wrong in their relationship on him. And that is why I so appreciate reading fics which point out Clark's obligation to be honest with the woman he professes to love:
"It all happened so suddenly. I never expected you to confess your love for me... well, not really. And earlier when I asked for Superman, it was kind of a reaction... I guess. I was really hoping that you would tell me the truth... to show me that you were serious enough to throw all your insecurities to the wind, because maybe then I would be able to the same," she stammered, aware that she was talking in circles and not getting to what she really wanted to say.
Yes indeed, how much is the love worth that he has confessed for her? What will he do for her because of his love?
"Somehow in my mind, I expected you to just come out and tell me. That your love for me was powerful enough to make you break your own rules. I felt that maybe I needed to push you. That if I pushed you into a corner, you would confess."
Is his love for her strong enough to let her see him as the man he really is? Is it strong enough to let her really know the man he asks her to love and to marry?
"I was asked to love half a man. I needed you to share with me the whole one. I... I needed you to tell me..."
If he asks her to love only half of him, how can she marry all of him?
"I needed you to show me that you loved me more than your secret. I needed you to show me that the super man that I am in love with was really the only man I have ever truly loved... Clark Kent."
But he didn't tell her. He may have loved her, or thought he loved her, but he didn't trust her. He asked for her love in a deceitful way. No, Clark, you don't deserve her love. Not now, not until you are ready to respect and trust the woman you profess to love. Not until you are ready to fully share yourself with her.
The butterflies that had been circling his stomach earlier that night all turned to rocks as his breathing ceased.
She knew.
That sinking feeling. He hadn't meant for her to find out like that. Not so that she could tell him that his proposal had been deceitful, and not to be taken seriously. Not so that she could say that
he had been deceitful, and not to be taken seriously. Clark, you have some real soul-searching to do now. How much do you really love Lois, and how much of yourself are you willing to share with her?
Great vignette, Sonia! I'll read the other parts too, but right now I don't have time for it.
Ann
