Shayne, I have to agree with the previous posters. This is a story which is begging to be filled out. Like, how Lois's education was thrown completely off track by her unexpected pregnancy, how her guilt about never finding that hot young man and telling him he was a father, about her battles with her parents over whether or not to keep Lisa and how she'd raise a child when she wasn't able to support herself and how often she cried herself to sleep because she'd screwed her life up so irrevocably, about her struggles to get an education and find a job that paid enough to live on and -
And what about Clark, who doesn't even know that he has a daughter who's inherited his special abilities, who has no relationship with her and who will have to walk over coals of superheated Kryptonite when they finally find each other in order to make up for his not being there for either of them, who may or may not be Superman (I think he's not, since Lois hasn't made the connection with him yet) and who may have married someone else (like Rachel Harris, or ick, Lana! or double-ick, Mayson!) and might even have a family with that woman and -
You get the idea. I've been through this situation as a parent (like Sam and Ellen), and if you need to hear the horror stories, just shoot me a message. Both Lois and Clark have done tremendous damage to themselves and to each other. And together they've done a horrible thing to their daughter. And the tragic part is, none of the three of them really knows how bad the situation really is.
I know they didn't mean to, they weren't planning on having a baby, they weren't even in total control of themselves when they conceived this child, but blast it, they're responsible! And I want to see them fight through thirteen years of not knowing, not communicating, not fulfilling each other and living separate lives and having put down roots apart from each other. You think TOGOM (and all its variants) was full of angst? Hah! Not a patch on what this story could be.
Sorry to rant, Shayne, because this is a beautifully crafted vignette. Your writing is so economical and powerful, conveying the maximum impact with the fewest possible words. I like everything you write and reading anything you've written is always a treat, including this story. But there's just so much that you left out! Please, please consider fleshing out the story. In fact, this could stand as the prologue of a wonderful journey of mutual exploration and acceptance and learning for all three of them. Besides, how else will Superman come to be? And how else will Lisa learn of her heritage?
I look forward to the next posting on this story. Hi ho, chapter one is on the way!
Right?
