Hey Smirky!
I've just found your story and finished catching up reading from the beginning. Now it's time to feed the author with FDK
First off, great story! I never objected to a little hurt-comfort. And such hurt! Utterly painful to read -- Dr Mengele, anyone? (Although I had a bit of difficulty suspending my disbelief for a bone marrow aspirate from the femur. If the PSIS isn't gory enough for you, why not have them take it from the sternum? Mwahaha...)
I loved so many bits that I can't put them all in here. The humour ("little daisy", LOL) and the conversations that Lois had with Superman in the cell were lovely. I also loved how he started to die without exposure to sunlight and Lois figured it out by accident after rescuing him.
And I agree with Ann -- his body glowing in the sun is something I could really go for, hehe! You have a knack for descriptive writing, certainly. I can see some scenes like pictures in my mind!
Just a nitpick -- I found myself getting confused when you referred to Superman as "Clark" during the scenes which were written from Lois' point of view. When we're seeing a scene from inside Clark's head, it's of course normal for him to think of himself as "Clark." However, since Lois does not yet know that CK=S, in scenes which are from her POV, he should be "Superman," because that's whom she's seeing. Like I said, a nitpick.
At this point in the story I'm getting a bit disturbed by the fact that Clark...
a. ...has yet to call his parents who must be worried sick about him.
b. ...has let Lois run off to save Clark Kent, leaving him alone (which he's afraid to be) and putting herself in danger (which I think he wouldn't allow, no matter how out of it he was,) rather than tell her that CK=S.
He's not acting like the Clark we know -- but then again, the Clark we know did allow Lois to get engaged to Lex rather than reveal his secret, so...
Hoping that explanations are coming up in the next chapter. Looking forward to reading more soon!
--Jude
