I thought I'd start this thread seeing as how no one else has.
I don't read a lot of fanfic, but ever since I read Revisionist History I always take a peek at your stories, Sue. The first part of this one dragged me in and I read all of it in one sitting. What with the debate going on in the other thread, about nfic and the pgifying of it, I wanted to take the time to thank you for making the effort of providing this version of the story. I'm not into nfic much, so I'm glad I got the chance to read it without the "naughty bits"--although I get the feeling I might be missing out.
At the beginning, I was very uncertain that I would like the premise: I just could not, for the life of me, see Lois suggesting a friends with benefits arrangement to Clark (although I've always thought it would be an interesting angle to explore). I thought that would be so out of character for her that I would find it too jarring.
As I read the story, it occurred to me that I didn't really know whether or not it was out of character, because we rarely got any insight into these characters' sex lives and how they might view the idea of buddy sex. I might be able to infer what they might do, but I couldn't know for sure. So the premise did end up working for me, not in small part due to your brilliant writing!
The A plot was excellent: suspenseful, well crafted, plus you used an interesting villain. Brava!
The B plot: like I said above, I was skeptical in the beginning, but it really clicked. I thought it was pure genius, using ASU as a starting point, because at what other point in S1 would Lois be vulnerable enough to say "to hell with the consequences" and go for it? How else could they have sex and not wind up fighting afterwards, with ill feelings all around? Great idea! Even better that both of them enjoyed it so much that they wanted to do it again. This resulted in a few great scenes with your characteristic snappy, funny dialogue.
I found it interesting that the possibility of abortion never even occurred to Lois. Is this a choice you made based on her character (ie do you think it would just not occur to her) or was it a can of worms you didn't want to open? It's a topic that's usually avoided on American TV (often by letting the character have a miscarriage instead) because it's so controversial. I'm interested in your reasoning behind why you chose not to go that route (not criticizing, just genuinely interested in how authors arrive at such decisions).
I have to admit I was glad that you didn't pile on the angst after the miscarriage: realistically speaking, Lois wouldn't be thrilled about an unplanned pregnancy. Clark's a different matter, but I think if you'd delved into that aspect of the story, it would have taken it in a very different direction. Glad you didn't.
Okay. Wow. This wound up being much longer than expected. Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed the story and how much I love your style. I think you write excellent dialogue and it's one of the main reasons I check out your stories, because I prefer dialogue to introspection. I'll try to be better about feedback in the future.
