Well, Janet, I asked you last time what your plans were regarding Lois and Clark's future relationship. I adored their awkward little "almost-proposing-almost-accepting" scenario that you served up for us in this chapter:
"It’s only fair that if a husband and wife both work outside the home, they should share the household tasks. I’m perfectly happy being the cook in this rela-” He stopped abruptly. “That is – well…”
“Clark… it’s okay,” she began awkwardly. “I didn’t think you meant – you know, anything specific about you and me, or… I mean, I know you didn’t mean you wanted to mar-“ She stopped, trying to swallow around the lump in her throat. She *wasn’t* going to get upset. Doggedly, she plowed on. “Well, you know – I didn’t take it seriously when your mom said –“
They so much want to get together, but they are so afraid of saying too much for fear of frightening the other one off. But Clark finds it in himself to be honest:
“I *did* mean it. I *do* mean it. I *want* us to be… together, like that. I love you. I want…” He took a deep breath. “I want to marry you, Lois. I want us to be husband and wife. It feels like I’ve wanted that forever. But…” His mouth quirked into the beginning of a smile. “I didn’t intend to propose to you in between stirring the pasta sauce. I meant to wait for a nice, romantic moment. So…”
He means it - so as soon as the pasta sauce is done, he'll propose?
Letting go of her hands long enough to cup her face gently in his larger hands, he leaned forward to kiss her softly, sweetly – and way too briefly.
Well - if he proposed to her now, she'd have no choice but to say yes.
But he's not going to pressure her:
“Can you consider this a… pre-proposal statement of intent? And then –“ He smiled. “…Could you be surprised, when I ask you for real?”
This is adorably sweet.
But suddenly, he isn't sure she is going to say yes:
He stopped rather abruptly again, the smile fading. “That is… If you even want to… Well, I guess I’m just assuming you’d say –“
But of course she will say yes. And the following paragraph is sparkling with joy and giddiness like champagne:
She felt the joy welling up inside her. Would she float off the chair if he weren’t holding her hands? When he looked at her like that… When he was… pre-proposing? …She felt lighter than the air around her. So if she wasn’t actually floating, she ought to be.
And I love your play on the words "I will" in this paragraph:
“I will. I *will* consider what you just said to be a pre-proposal. I *will* be surprised when you ask me for real. And –“ She smiled her own smile at him, letting him see everything she felt for him. “…I *will* say… ‘I will,’ …if you’re sure -”
And then they were both floating together. How delightful!
Then Clark asks her to accompany him to his parents, and suddenly she is feeling scared. What about sleeping arrangement?
“Where would we stay, Clark? Your parents only have one extra bedroom. It’s not that I don’t want…” She floundered. This was easier to think about than it was to talk about, and that wasn’t saying much. “Well, I’m just not sure I’m ready… That *we’re* ready…” She glanced rather desperately at the front door. Would it look silly if she made a dive for it?
She released a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “Oh, Clark.” It was nearly a whisper. Unable to resist, she leaned forward and kissed him softly, then tipped her forehead against his. This was easier to say if she wasn’t looking directly at him. “I’m… Well, I have no experience. At all. In… you know…”
She was so scared she was ready to bolt because she doesn't feel ready for intimacy yet, and she was afraid that she and Clark would be expected to share a room, and she doesn't feel ready for it.
I'm a little surprised. I wouldn't expect an elderly small-town American couple to automatically ask their son's girlfriend to sleep in the same room and bed as their son if he brought her along for a visit, particularly if they weren't even engaged and hadn't even been a couple for a long time at all. But perhaps Lois isn't being rational, and perhaps she isn't asking herself what kind of things the Kents would expect her to do. Perhaps she is simply tensing up, almost panicking, over the prospect of intimacy.
And of course - she isn't afraid of what the Kents will pressure her into doing, she is afraid of what
Clark expects her to do. I'm glad he tells her that he is ready to wait for as long as she needs.
I can understand Lois's fear. She is a virgin, and more than a virgin. Ever since she was a small girl, she has held herself aloof from other people. She has been terribly alone, if not necessarily extremely lonely, and she has been cut off from other people. The idea of going from such a state of "untouchability" into physical intimacy is an overwhelmingly huge step, and I can't blame Lois for being scared.
For all of that, and because Lois and Clark are the sexiest couple I can imagine, I feel a little disappointed at Lois's skittishness. I hope you will be gently steering Lois into a greater and greater sense of security, comfort and trust around Clark. In other words, I hope your story will eventually show us how Lois is ready to take that final step with Clark.
Ann
