I liked it. Can you change your story post to the 'blue arrow' though? I almost missed it.
It would also be nice if you make a note in the beginning that this is set in an alternate universe - one of the Buffyverses. I found myself a bit confused at first. Of course you did finally tell us that this was set in an alternate universe.
I think a little vignette on Lois' reaction the first time she ever saw one of the vamps 'change' would be great! :p
I wondered a bit about this part:
The (vampire) warlock promptly fired off a bolt of energy in Buffy's direction
I don't remember any vampire warlocks in Buffy. Was there ever such a thing or are you throwing in a little Charmed for good measure?
Poor Clark...
This was ... she stepped closer to him, brow wrinkling in confusion. This was a man. He looked human, though he couldn't possibly be mortal. He sat on an office chair that had come through with him, looking startled. His hands were raised as if he'd been typing on a keyboard when summoned.
And he appeared right in the middle of typing. What must they be thinking in the other universe. At least the chair came with him...
What about the Clark in this Buffyverse? Is he in Smallville married to Lana Lang. In Nigeria married to the princess? Or.. gah... living in another city happily married to Mayson Drake? I'd like to see him pop-up instead of just not being there because of death or some such. Hey, without his 'Lois' he just never became Superman.
Finally, I'd like to say that I like your writing style and I anxiously look forward to more. As a big sci-fi fan (Superman's my favorite), I like these cross-over stories.
