Hi!
From the title, I'm already hooked. I love love love the Congo/gun-runners stories! And I love that you went there for the location challenge because it's such a logical choice.
If they find me, I’m dead.
OMG, instant high stakes!
The gangs were easy enough to find and follow.
I actually really love this because it shows what a great reporter she is; like, no one else is traipsing after these guys into the Jungle!
I have no proof. They caught me, searched me.
Oh, no! This is such a rough outcome for her!
Besides, there was something to be said about riding along a deserted dirt road, surrounded by dense forest, nothing but the wind and the rain and the sound of the engine. It had a way of helping him decompress—although a flight through the clouds would probably be better.
I love this detail. I feel like I can feel this.
But old motorcycles were similar enough to tractors that he could figure out how to fix it.
Totally makes sense - love this!
His stay in Africa had been eye-opening...They need systemic change, which would take a long time.
Its fantastic to read this perspective here. This would totally be hard for Clark to live with; ironically it's more of a Lois problem to tackle in her articles.
He froze. He could hear a heartbeat inside the cabin.
Love that he's using his powers more when alone!
Sitting down, so as to appear less threatening,
Aw, I love this. That's so thoughtful.
Where am I?
What was I doing?
The gunrunners!
I’m in the Congo. They caught me. I ran.
The sentence structure in this whole section is really effective.
His use of the word ‘whom’ gives me pause.
Nice!
It would have been easy to kill me in my sleep.
That's sound logic for a sane person and also just a little naive (which I like because I feel like it reinforces that this is a slightly younger Lois than we meet on the show).
There is an almost boyish innocence about him—something which says, you get what you see.
The dramatic irony of this!
"No names. No personal information.”
Oh nooooooo. I feel like this isn't going to go well for them long-term.
“Nice to meet you, Lola. You can call me… um… Charlie.”
Such classics. I love these!
“Are you a doctor?”
He raises one eyebrow. “I thought you said no personal information.”
Caught by my own rules, I can only shrug.
That got me!
She was already vulnerable, and he was asking her to give up even more control.
Its really great how empathetic you made him, but also how understanding of another person's viewpoint he is, both in relating to Lois, but also the way he thinks about the people that live here.
She nodded again silently but her entire body tensed in anticipation of pain.
Ugh, so real.
“Are you sure you’re not a doctor?”
Lola’s voice startled him out of his pondering. He shook his head. “I’m not. Why?”
So much for no personal info, lol.
I really love how absolutely bad they are at keeping personal details out of it.
With his quiet promise, I feel quite certain, too, that I will see Metropolis again soon.
Awwwww.
He sits back in his chair and stares at the ceiling as though he could see right through it to find answers to his problems in the stars.
That's phrased in such a lovely way!
Whatever you can do… it’s enough.
That's really sweet, to get this in here. I love that in this universe, he gets to hear it from Lois directly.
Well, he’d have to kiss me actually; I can’t really move much right now.
Hope. Could it really be that simple?
I love this trajectory of his thought process; we know that these two are soulmates, but as a broader context, this is just lovely to see the idea that one stranger can, in just a few minutes, reshape another person's life for the better.
He didn’t understand it—this whatever-it-was that he was feeling. It was something like the feeling he got when he was flying
That's so swoon-worthy!
He didn’t know if he believed in love at first sight but current events were certainly weighing in its favor.
He pulled his hand back in surprise as he felt the heat radiating off her body.
Oh, nooooo, that's going to make some decisions for them.
He would fly her to Brazzaville, it would take him less than a minute. It was worth the risk; if she woke up and saw him…
She’d never see him again.
Nooooooooooooooooo.
Pushing through the pain, I pry open my eyes.
Lois, noooooooo!
He looks down at me. His eyebrows pinch together and he sighs. For some reason he looks very sad before he focuses his gaze, once again, on the city lights.
I think this is partly so effective because she doesn't know what's at stake, and neither of them really know what they're losing either. Really great job with this set-up.
Three days later, I’m stepping off the plane onto American soil, convinced that it was all a dream.
Crushing whiplash! (But in, like, a good way; this is a complimentary note, lol.)
Lex Luthor isn’t going to know what hit him.
Get him, Lois!
I really liked the POV switches in this story! I have to admit that all the way through the end section, even as soon as you set it up with the 'no names' device, I really thought that Clark would give in. That's all so heartbreaking! I'm so invested in whether this is really the end, or if 'Charlie' shows up at the Planet in a couple of years--with Lex Luthor already defeated, Lois fighting for him with Perry and a whole different unfolding of the universe.
