Hi FoLC!
Quotes:
LOIS: Ready... Wait, I'm missing a bag. I must've left it at home. Do you mind?
CLARK: Something tells me we won't be needing a lot of clothes on our honeymoon, Lois.
LOIS: Yeah, but it's got that little black teddy you bought me--
LOIS: I hope you don’t do everything that fast.
CLARK: Do we even have a choice?
H.G. Wells: Abstinence?
CLARK and LOIS: No way!
LOIS (after some staring at a half-naked Clark): I never get over how well-defined you are.
LOIS: Foreplay is great, but this is ridiculous.
TEMPOS: Of course... It all makes perfect sense. Never in the same place at the same time. Always ducking out and returning with some lame excuse. I can't believe I was actually fooled by a little mask over the eyes.
LOIS: Duh! Join the club.
TEMPOS: I hate it when the hero gets the heroine. It’s so cliché.
LOIS: Can’t we just have a honeymoon like a normal couple?
CLARK: What are you doing?
LOIS: Looking for your secret identity. Tempus said you had one.
H.G. Wells: Secret identities seem to be part of your destiny.
LOIS: And trouble seems to be part of mine.
CLARK: You sure this (the secret identity) will work?
LOIS: Please. Who’re you talking to?
LOIS (when prompted to say ‘I do’): Could you repeat the question?
LOIS: In that case I think I’ll choose never.
JIMMY (to Lois and Clark): Have fun you guys.
LOIS: I’m beat.
CLARK: You’re kidding. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Details:
Lois and Clark still haven’t consummated their marriage. After some flirting, they decide not to go to Hawaii. Then H.G. Wells interrupts. H.G. Wells reveals that Lois and Clark’s love is cursed and Lois will die if they consummate. Lois is not happy. H.G. Wells brings back a do-dat from the future, able to identify and track souls through time. Clark’s soul and Lois’s soul are intertwined as soul mates. They’re destined to meet and fall in love throughout time.
During their first trip, they end up in England, early 12th century. Clark’s Sir Charles / The Fox. Lois is Lady Loisette. Tempus is Baron Tempos and Perry is Friar Harry. Jimmy’s Tempos’s page.
Sir Charles is a scantly dressed knight in the service of Baron Tempos.
The sorcerer transformed his cheating wife into a rat.
Clark has the great idea to send a captured Baron Tempos home without gold but otherwise unharmed. Turns out, letting the bad guy go is not the smartest thing to do for your future.
Tempos wants his pet sorcerer to make Lady Loisette fall in love with him. Sadly, magic can’t make you fall in love with any person, so Tempos has to satisfy himself with Lady Loisette’s body and lands instead. Lois and Clark determine that their running away from Tempos is what triggered the curse. Lois comes to the conclusion that maybe they should accept there’s no happy ending for them. Clark is not convinced and believes it’s just a test. H.G. Wells suggests that The Fox sacrifices himself and Lady Loisette to Baron Tempos so their future selves can have a live. After The Fox reveals himself to Baron Tempos, they engage in a duel to the death, a.k.a. trial by combat. Clark decides to sacrifice The Fox. Lois makes a deal with Tempos for The Fox’s life by promising her fidelity to Tempos. Tempos accepts and banishes The Fox to prevent temptation.
The triumph of Evil over Good changes things in the future. The United States are now an absolute monarchy with Lois about to marry the king, Tempus I.
H.G. Wells decides to fix things by letting Good triumph over Evil in a more recent time, one without curses. They end up in the late 19th century in the Wild West. Clark is now The Lone Rider and a mild-mannered telegraph operator, Lois is Lulu, Tempus is the land owner Tempus Tex, Jimmy a town sheriff, and Perry’s the mayor.
Lois makes a deal with Tempus to spare The Lone Rider’s life. The sheriff is in on the secret identity this time. Clark escapes with Lulu after double crossing Tempus Tex. Unfortunately, Tempus is holding Lulu’s parents hostage so they decide to return Lulu to Tempus. Tempus insists to get both Lulu’s land and her hand in marriage. Clark figures out that Tempus has Lulu’s parents on a box of dynamite in a telegraph-equipped outhouse.
Back at the Planet, Jimmy runs into a new office staffer. Clark recommends he asks her out since she’s the same soul he got married to in the past.
Lois and Clark finally get to go on their honeymoon. Until a meteor is seen in the sky.
Recommendations:
Nan's Home Series as the ultimate treatise on Soul Mates.
Michael
