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10
There was warmth next to him. Warmth that smelled like strawberries and chocolate chip cookies, surrounding him and holding him tightly. He shifted a little and opened his eyes partway.
The room was bright, sunlight streaming in through partially opened curtains, and next to him, Martha lay there quietly, her soft, kind eyes watching him. She reached up and brushed his hair back off his forehead as she smiled at him.
âGood morning, sleepyhead,â she said, still smiling.
He blinked and curled up next to her without answering, suddenly remembering the middle of the night last night when heâd woken up crying, sure a monster was after him. A big orange monster with huge red eyes and green claws that screeched as it chased him down into the basement back in his old house.
When heâd sat up in bed, terrified, Martha had been there. And heâd crawled up into her arms, and sheâd rocked with him, waiting for him to calm down. Then, after his heart had stopped racing, sheâd tried tucking him back in, but as soon as sheâd started to leave, the fear had come back⌠So instead, sheâd crawled into bed next to him and held him andâŚ
âHow are you feeling, sweetie?â She said this while rubbing his back, and that made all the difference.
âB-better thanâbetter than l-last n-night,â he managed, but he hated himself for stuttering, and he screwed his eyes shut. âS-sorry.â
He meant sorry for a lot of things, especially for being such a burden. But Martha just shook her head.
âNo reason to say sorry, sweetie. Iâm happy to be here for you, whenever you need it. Okay?â
It still didnât make sense to him, but he nodded anyway.
âWe should probably get up though. I need to make poor Jonathan breakfast. And I bet youâre ready for something to eat too?â
He wondered if sheâd just let him eat another cookie. He thought maybe cookies were his favorite food now. But he didnât want to ask, and so he just nodded again.
âGreat! Why donât we get up now, and we can both get dressed. Do you remember where we put your clothes?â
âTheâthe b-bottom drawer,â he answered, looking up at her. Her eyes still sparkled, and he closed his eyes again and curled up against her. âI wantâŚâ He trailed off and shook his head. He couldnât ask her; he shouldnât. Sheâd just said she needed to get up, after all.
But he didnât want to let go of thisâthis feeling ofâŚhe wasnât even sure. But it was warm and comfortable. And he felt soâŚsafe right here. He let out a shuddering breath, trying to hold back his tears.
It was safe to cry here. And it was safe to tell her. She wanted him to tell her. Sheâd said so several times. She and Jonathan both. So when her hand started to rub his back again, he nodded.
âYou want to stay here for a few more minutes, sweetie?â Martha guessed.
âY-yes. Yes, please.â
He heard a quiet laugh.
âWe can do that. A few more minutes is fine.â
âTh-thank you.â
He felt her pull the blanket up around his shoulders and then kiss the top of his head, and it felt so nice, so comfortable and warm. He felt a sudden urge to tell her thisâespecially how much he liked the blanket. And he almost did. But then a hazy memory reminded him that nice things, including warm blankets, could be taken away as punishment, and he promptly changed his mind.
Better she not know. Just in case.
After a few more minutes, he silently sat up and moved to the edge of the bed. When he stood, his legs felt less wobbly than they had the day before, and he didnât immediately feel dizzy. He forced his legs to move toward the dresser, and he then tugged open the bottom drawer and stared in at the neatly folded clothes. There was two more of everythingâtwo pairs of pants, two shirts (one blue, one gray), two pairs of socksâplus a few more pairs of underwear. He glanced over at Martha, who had just stood up and was smoothing out her nightgown. She smiled at him.
âDo you need help picking out what to wear, sweetie?â she asked.
He frowned and shook his head. He already knew he wanted to wear the blue shirt. Red was his favorite color, but he did also like blue.
âOkay. Iâll go get dressed myself, and then we can make breakfast. I could use some help again, if youâre up for it?â
ââKay,â he said, and that made her smile again.
âIâll see you in a few minutes, okay, sweetie?â
He nodded, and after she left the room, he reached into the drawer, pulled out the shirt, a pair of pants, and a pair of underwear, and then carefully walked down the hallway and to the bathroom. A few minutes later, after heâd relieved himself, washed his hands, and changed into his clean clothes, he slowly opened the bathroom door and looked out down the hallway toward the kitchen. He could hear quiet voicesâone a bit deeper than the otherâand he realized Jonathan must be in there with Martha now. And they were probably waiting for him.
Quietly, he tiptoed down the hallway and then peeked around the corner into the kitchen. Martha and Jonathan stood together in the kitchen, hugging and talking quietly. He couldnât quite hear what they were saying, but whatever it was, it soundedâŚserious. Sort of. They werenât yelling or arguing, but they were talking in low voices that wereâŚstrained. He shook his head and scooted back into the hallway, his heart starting to race.
They werenât mad at him. He wasnât in trouble. Martha had told him that a bunch of times already. But why were they being so quiet? There was something they didnât want him to hear.
Maybe he should just go back to bed.
He scrunched his eyes shut and slumped down against the wall, hugging his knees to his chest and fighting against the feelings in his head telling him things that didnât make sense. Why didnât anything make any sense? WhyâŚhadnât he gotten in trouble? WhyâŚ
âHey, sweetie. Is everything okay?â Marthaâs kind voice came from just in front of him, and he swallowed hard, wanting to just say he was fine. But heâŚreally wasnât sure.
âI-I donât know,â he said quietly. He felt her warmth shift closer until he was sure she was sitting next to him, and he closed his eyes tighter. âI donât know wh-whyâŚâ
âWhy what, sweetie?â
He flinched slightly as her hand set lightly on his back, but then he immediately felt the same thing heâd felt so many times now since coming here to Martha and Jonathanâs houseâthat sense ofâŚsafety? Holding his breath, he turned and leaned into her, hoping to feel it more. And he did. She slid her arm around his shoulders and gathered him up in her arms in another one of those hugs that just felt so right.
But his head hurt a little as he tried to think. Part of himâa very small partâwanted to know that bigâŚwhy. He curled up against her and mustered up all the courage he possibly could.
âWhyâŚwhyâŚâ But he couldnât get the words out. They wouldnât form orâŚwhatever it was that words did. He growled a little and brought his hands to his head, as though that would make something better. But of course it didnât.
âSweetie, shh, itâs okay,â Martha murmured, so gentle and nice. She rubbed his back again as she held him, and he started crying, unable to stop himself. And maybe he didnât even want to try.
âWhy are you nice to me?â he blurted out, still crying as he clung onto her. âMa and Pa said s-said thatâthatâthatâthatââ He shook his head and buried his face into her shoulder as he got stuck on the words again. Dumb words. Dumb brain that wouldnât say what he wanted.
Dumb him. It was a bad decision, to try to ask the question anyway. Trying to ask why she and Jonathan were so nice when Ma and Pa had said no one would be nice to him. Trying to ask why there werenât any punishments for all the bad things heâd done. Trying to askâŚwhy he hadnât been sent to his room or to the basement orâŚ?
He should have known better. He did know better.
He sobbed, half expecting this to be it, to be when her voice would get mean and angry, and Jonathan might step in to show Clark what the consequences were for everything heâd done wrong so far.
But that didnât happen. The opposite happened. She continued to rub his back, soothing and calm, and she talked to him quietly, her words gentle and soft.
âShh, everythingâs okay, sweetie. Youâre okay. Youâre okay,â she said.
And when his crying slowed and then stopped, she kissed the top of his head and held him just a little tighter, which made him feel even better, somehow.
He hiccupped and wiped the tears from his cheeks, but didnât otherwise move.
âYou asked me why Iâm so nice to you?â she said after another moment. He nodded, and he heard her breath catch, which only confused him more. âOh, sweetieâŚâ Then he heard her sniffle.
Had he made her cry again?
âClark, sweetie, I care about you. A lot. I want to be sure that youâre comfortable and feel safe and at home here. I want to be sure that youâŚâ Martha paused, and Clark tensed up as he heard Jonathanâs footsteps approach slowly. They stopped, and Martha exhaled quietly and then continued, her voice still gentle and kind. âI want to be sure youâre taken care ofâthat you have enough to eat and good clothes to wear, and that you get enough sleep. I want you to find things that you enjoy, and I want you to grow and learn. I want you to know that youâre a beautiful, wonderful, sweet child and that you deserve all of this. You deserve to be treated with kindness, sweetie.â
Everything she said didnât make any sense, and his head hurt even more. But he felt a lot more comfortable in her arms than not, and so he just stayed right where he was. She didnât move either, except to start rocking him gently.
He really liked that.
After another moment, Clark heard Jonathan clear his throat quietly. âMartha, should I go start breakfast?â
âHmm.â Martha kissed the top of his head again. âClark, sweetie, did you want to help me cook again? You were so wonderful as my helper yesterday. But if you want, we can just stay here for a bit more, and Jonathan can get breakfast cooking.â
He didnât know. So he didnât move, still, and he didnât answer.
âItâs okay, sweet child.â She started rubbing his back again. âItâs okay⌠JonâŚ?â
âFrench toastâmy aunt Sueâs recipe?â
âYeah. All the ingredients are out on the counter already.â
âGot it.â
Footsteps sounded again, this time moving out of the hallway and back to the kitchen. And Clark wrapped his arms around Marthaâs neck and started crying again, though he really wasnât sure why.
***
He was so full again. And he had another new favorite foodâFrench toast topped with strawberries and something Martha had called powdered sugar. It was even more yummy than the pancake heâd had the day before. But he hadnât even been able to finish, because heâd gotten so full.
He also had two new books to read! After breakfast, Jonathan had taken him into the living room and shown him. One was a book about a big red puppy that went on adventures with his owner, and the other was a book about dinosaurs. The dinosaur one looked like it had a lot of really big, long words in it, and Jonathan had even said it might be hard for him to read.
Clark sat on the couch, alternately staring at the two books in his lap and glancing out the window to see if Jonathan was headed back in from the barn yet. Heâd said he had to check on something and that heâd be right back. And when he got back, heâd read the booksâboth of them!âto Clark.
âHey, sweetie,â Martha said from behind him, and Clark turned quickly, startled. Martha smiled when his eyes met hers. âI have a few more chores to do. Are you okay here? Just waiting for Jonathan?â
His stomach seemed to lurch a bit.
âYou know your chores. Those windows better be spotless today. Get it all done, or else!â Or else. Or else.
âD-do you⌠Can I-I h-help you?â
Marthaâs smile softened. âI appreciate the offer, sweetie, but I can handle everything today. I just need to sweep and vacuum and start some laundry. Then, Iâm hoping maybe we can color again, or maybe play a game.â
ââKay,â he mumbled, turning to look at the books in his hands again. He expected Martha to leave, so he could continue waiting for Jonathan. But he heard her footsteps approach until they stopped right behind him at the couch.
âOh, I know that book, about the puppy,â she said, and she came around the side of the couch and then sat down next to him. He moved closer automatically, scooting up against her like he had yesterday when sheâd been reading to him. And she settled her arm around his shoulders.
He looked up at her and smiled. Then he looked back down at the book. âI-I w-want toâto read it. But J-Jonathan said heâd be back toâto help me.â
âPerfect. We can still look at it while we wait for him, though. Yeah?â Martha squeezed his shoulders gently, and the icky feeling in his stomach went away as he nodded.
âI-I think Iââ He slowly reached up and pointed to the title of the book. Heâd been thinking about it and trying to remember everything from the day before. And he was kinda a little sure, maybe, that he might know a few of the words.
âDo you know the words, sweetie?â
Clark pursed his lips and then glanced at her again. âM-maybe.â He lowered his eyes back to the book. âI donât knowâŚthis, um, this f-first word, but I think this is âthe Big Red Dogâ?â He said the words slowly, pointing to each word as he spoke. And when he finished, he looked up at Martha, unsure what heâd find.
Her eyes were closed, but her lips still smiled, and he smiled too as he saw her nod softly. âThatâs absolutely right, Clark. Youâreâyouâre amazing, sweetie.â
When she opened her eyes and looked down at him, a flush of warmth spread through his chest, and he smiled even bigger.
âWh-whatâs the first word?â he asked. He heard the front door open, and his eyes darted up to where Jonathan entered the house, slipping off his coat.
âWhat do we have here? Ready to get reading, are we, Clark?â Jonathan smiled too, and that also made Clark feelâŚsomething big and bright. He nodded, a bit more enthusiastically this time.
âYes!â
âClark is already getting started, Jon,â Martha said. âHe can read most of the title already.â
âOh, is that so?â Jonathan moved across the room and then took a seat on the other side of Clark.
âI can! Except the first word, IâŚâ Clark frowned and looked down at the book again. âC-L-IâŚF-F-O-R-D?â
âYes, those are the letters. Excellent job, sweetie!â Martha beamed. âThat spells Clifford. Thatâs the dogâs nameâClifford.â
âClifford the Big Red Dog?â Clark risked a quick glance up at Martha and then Jonathan, and he saw them both smiling and nodding.
âImpressive, buddy!â Jonathan scooted a little closer. âNow, should we see what wonderful adventures Clifford goes on? I donât think Iâve read this one before. Have you, Martha?â
âNo, I donât think so.â
Clark leaned into Martha a bit. âM-maybeâŚwe can f-find outâŚtogether, then?â he said.
There was a very short moment of silence, and just when Clark started to worry that maybe heâd said something wrong, Jonathan answered quietly, âI think thatâs a really great idea, buddy.â
He smiled again, feeling something he couldnât quite put words toâbut whatever it was, it felt good. Then, Clark snuggled up against Martha and opened the book up to the first page.
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