I LOVED the inventiveness of the multiple endings. And I
really got a kick out of the blame on the reader in "Congratulations - you’ve chosen the Tank Ending, everyone is dead, you really shouldn’t have burned a piece of Clark’s childhood." This really did feel like a Tank ending.
The smell of curry drifted through the brownstone - spiced, savory and warm, like a hug in a bowl. Snow fell steadily outside, the world muted by a thickening blanket of white.
Compliments on lulling us into a false sense of security here. This language is SO cozy. Disarming as heck!
that comfort sometimes came in ladlefuls.
Love this phrasing and lesson!
She paused, then added with a wry smile, “Though, dealing with Intergang might be less dangerous than keeping my family in close quarters.”
Lois shook her head. “Must be a family trait, right? Before I fell in love with you I had the same problem.”
It is kind of wild that these two dated Lex Luthor and Metallo.
He turned back with a grin. “Maybe we get snowed in?”
She sighed. “I’ve married my personal snow plow, I don’t think we’ll ever get snowed in.”
Their dialogue though this whole section (and above) is so charming and sweet.
"No one called for help?” she asked.
He shook his head. “They did. But the shot was fatal. Instant. There was nothing for Superman to do.
I love that she asks for and receives more information. It totally makes sense that he would just have this, and let her focus on the other investigation.
She squeezed his hand. “He planned it that way. You save who can be saved. This…” she gestured toward the screen, “…isn’t about you failing.”
Awww.
The wind brushed against the windows like a whispered lullaby.
Love this phrasing. ...even if it is wholly duplicitous, knowing what's coming.
“Well, nothing short of the apocalypse is getting in the way of this weekend.”
Lois tilted her head. “You’re tempting fate, you know.”
“Eh,” he shrugged, “fate’s had its shot.”
“I guess you’re right…” Lois straightened up.
This is just so evil. I read the whole thing before I started the FDK, and I had NO idea this was a Tank style fic. I was a little bit curious about why they were bouncing around to these particular topics while I read part 1, but I just didn't see this coming at all. On the re-read it's all RIGHT THERE. Really well done.
Clark chuckled, pulling her even closer. “I like watching you - I don’t need a reason.”
Aww.
He kissed her forehead. “Smart woman.”
“Don’t forget it.”
Cute!
Clark gave a faint nod, but his eyes didn’t leave the street. His head tilted slightly.
This is where I got worried.
“Probably just my imagination.”
This is where I panicked.
Behind her, Clark moved–
And then–
Crack.
This whole sequence below is great, but the way this starts feels particularly well timed.
Nicely done.
She crossed the room quickly, keeping low and out of sight as she yanked the curtains shut.
Clever. I love that she's competent here, that she's good in an emergency. I feel like that's a very classic Lois.
She’d done it before.
Only back then, she hadn’t known the man in the suit was Clark. He hadn't been her husband then.
And somehow, that made this so much harder.
Ugh, this is so real.
She gasped when she saw the bruising beneath the skin: not just around the entry point, but fanned out in a grim constellation across his side, a slight greenish hue mixed in with his bruises.
The bullet hadn’t gone through - it had shattered.
Ohhh my god this is so smart and so horrible. (Horrible here is meant as a compliment.)
It's so awful that two people lost their lives because they were practice shots. ...unless Intergang is just cleaning house, but this headcanon is worse to me, so that's how I'm interpreting it.
"That’s it," she whispered. "You’re okay. I’ve got you." The bullet was out. He was alive.
But as she lifted the gauze the wounds hadn’t closed up. He wasn't healing. Instead, it had begun to bleed more, a dark, steady ooze that defied everything she knew about him.
The turnaround on these two sentences is gripping.
His skin felt too cold under her hand.
Too human.
Crushing use of the 'human' description. Ooof. It's all he every wanted and how it's killing him.
She didn’t talk. Couldn’t. Not yet. Her focus narrowed to this one task: get them out. All of them. Before it was too late.
Really savvy writing for suspense.
A faint sound escaped his lips - might’ve been her name. Might’ve just been breath.
This killed me.
Clark was vulnerable now, the last thing they needed now would be another injury.
Also so smart.
"Shut up and breathe." Her voice broke slightly. "I’m almost done."
A flicker of a smile ghosted across his lips.
Awww. I think that you've captured one of their most likeable features here, which is that they're still
them, even in these kinds of tense, life-altering, larger than life situations.
Her voice cracked, but she kept talking. If words could anchor him, she’d never stop.
ENDING A
macabre shadows across the room. For a few precious moments,
Danger, Will Robinson.
A weak, almost imperceptible smile touched his lips as he looked at her. "Lois..." he whispered, his voice barely a breath. "You... you always knew how to... keep me warm."
Devastating.
His eyes, fixed on hers, slowly lost their light, their focus blurring into a distant, empty gaze.
Watching this happen has to be beyond torture for her. Not just that her husband is gone, but literally the savior of the entire world. The whole universe shifts for the worse now.
She didn’t feel the heat. Only the silence.
Oof. Love this language here.
Lois sank to the floor beside him, arms wrapped around what she couldn’t save, as the fire closed in.
Brutal.
Their cars, lost in a white-out on an unseen patch of black ice, slid off the treacherous mountain road, plunging silently into the ravine below. No one would find them, no one would ever know.
I think I must have just cracked at the ending because I thought this was tragic and also really hilarious. It was really a relief to read the A/N blaming the audience after this because it felt like such a natural progression.
Only the blizzard remained, a silent witness to the end.
Great bit of drama here. It really aligns with the old choose your own adventure stories. Which, by the way, slightly OT, but David Corenswet's (new Supes from the 2025 movie) grandfather wrote those choose your own adventure books. Wild, right?
ENDING B
I picked this ending first, and was sure I killed him, lol. Yaaaay for misdirection!
She couldn’t. Not this. Not when everything in her had been fighting to keep him from breaking completely.
Great emotional logic.
Each inhale felt like a gamble.
Love this language! Painful and keeping us on the edge of our seats.
Then - a twitch.
She almost didn’t notice it. The faintest movement beneath her hand. But then another.
Clark shifted - just slightly - but enough that she felt it.
A change.
The returning weight of presence behind the stillness.
This whole section is great - the structure, the word choice, the economy, the progression. I also really feel like I should be able to guess the author from this style here.
She laughed - tired and shaky, almost a sob.
Such a perfect, layered description.
"I don’t think I’m coherent enough to handle Lois Lane in full babble mode.”
Nice to bring this staple/Lois trope in here, and in this way.
But the color was returning and with it, so was hope.
Another great phrase, elevating the tangible with the intangible.
She reached for the blankets next and tucked them around him with the same reverence she might give to something sacred. Because he was. To her.
This is impenetrably sweet.
“You kept me here,” he whispered, voice rough but steady. “You didn’t let me go.”
OMG, you let Clark live, but you're just killing us!
“Prescribed by the world’s leading expert in Lois Lane recovery,” he murmured, nestling against her shoulder, his voice going drowsy.
I do prefer the cute ending, even if I feel like the blizzard is somehow disappointed by this turn of events.
Thank you for the trauma!
