I pull Clark a little closer, suddenly needing to reassure myself that he's really here and not at the bottom of a pond in Kansas. “I was just thinking about that time we spent in Smallville, and I remembered how that nutcase Trask came so close to killing you! I—I almost lost you that day, Clark!”
“Oh, Lois...” His hand comes up to cup my cheek.
I rest my hand over his. “I don't ever want to lose you. That's what makes this so terrifying!”
A frown crinkles his forehead.
“You're my best friend, and I'm relationship poison!” I can feel the tears forming, but there's nothing I can do to stop them. “If I can't give you everything you want, or be everything you need me to be...” A shudder wracks through me, and I hiccup. It's getting harder to breathe, let alone talk.
Clark brushes a tear from my cheek, though another quickly takes its place. “Lois...” He quickly ushers us into a corner far from the other party-goers. When he speaks again, his voice his soft and low. “I don't need you to do or be anything! You're perfect just as you are!”
I shake my head. “You say that. But then, you'll want to show me off to your friends, and I'll piss them off with my opinions. You'll want me to trust you completely around other women, and I'll be paranoid because everything you say will be the same excuses my father gave about his mistresses. You'll want to feel like a rock-star in bed, and I won't be convincing enough when I fake being impressed. I'll disappoint you, you'll hate me, and then you'll leave me. I've been down this road before, Clark! I don't want to wind up back there with you!”
His arms come around me, and I bury my face in his shirt. My hat knocks backward, the little string catching around my neck to keep it from falling.
“Please.” The word comes out as a gasp. “Not you. You're the best friend I ever had. I can't lose you!”
Clark rubs my back in gentle circles. “You'll never lose me, Lois. Never!” He tips my chin up to look at him. “If my friends don't like your opinions, that's their problem! I love your sharp mind and how passionately you defend what's important to you!” His hand cups my cheek again. “I'll earn your trust, instead of just demanding it, and if we never reach the point where you can give it, then we'll work through that together.” His thumb sweeps at the tears trekking down my face. “And If I can't impress you, I'd rather find out what you want than have you lie to stroke my ego. You're my best friend too, Lois. I'd rather die than throw that all away, so that is *not* where this is going!”
I take a deep breath and manage to find my voice, tiny though it is. “So where is this going, then?”
He reaches up to stroke my hair, his own voice as soft and gentle as his touch. “I know where I hope it's going: somewhere amazing and beautiful. I really think we have what it takes to get there. All I want is a chance to find out. Lois, will you find out together with me? Please?”
The tears are pricking again, and I shut my eyes. I take another breath, then nod. Clark's lips are warm and firm against mine, as if he could impart some of his confidence to me through his kiss. I straighten my spine and kiss him back. Together, we'll venture into the unknown.
NEW FRONTIER
