Hi Mary!
“Luthortopia”, as Lex had christened this ice-aged parallel Earth, was definitely not making Lois's list of top vacation destinations.
Hey, at least it does not come curtesy of some megalomaniacal rich criminal intent on world domination, like her usual exotic vacation spots.
As it was, Lois pulled Clark's suit jacket tighter around herself as she lay in her tent and swore that she'd never take anything for granted ever again.
Not even Clark?
LOIS: now don’t be foolish.
so there was no reason for her sleep to be interrupted by dreams of Superman coaxing her out of her clothes only to begin dousing her with his ice-breath instead of doing anything actually fun.
She should try to dream of him bathing her with his eyes instead!
The woman probably wouldn't be able to do much if a saber-tooth tiger decided to have a Lois-icle for a midnight snack, and besides, at least one of them should be able to get some sleep tonight.
The question is, would Dr. Plummer be the one to get away faster?
She had clearly been detected, though, as something large and covered in fur began slowly moving towards her.
Oooh! It’s wolfgirl. Don’t be mean, they have not invented shaving equipment yet.
Based on what she could tell of the height, it had to be a bear.
She wouldn’t describe Clark guy as ‘hairy’ now would she?
LOIS: Have you seen Superman. Here’s the way, way before.
Clark held his hands up in front of his eyes, blinking rapidly against the sudden illumination.
Soft fur greeted her fingers instead of the synthetic material of the LexLabs thermal blankets.
Oh, you did a complete bait-and-switch. You naughty naughty writer you.
WOLFGIRL:
Wolf. Man. /thumps chest/
He tilted his head at her, then leaned forward and began to actually sniff her hair.
Clark frowned, moving around her in a slow circle and staring at her abdomen. “...Lolo?!”
Oh, wolfgirl should be pregnant by now?
Before the pelt even hit the ground, the two of them were airborne.
Oh boy. He actually flies? Also, will this clue Lois in on the fact that her mild-mannered partner is actually a very super man?
CLARK: Never mind that. Where *is* she?
LOLO: No. NO. *NO!* Me Lolo. /thumps chest/ No Lolo! /points at the skinny interloper in her married bliss/
Massive chunks of ice floated in the water, catching and reflecting the brightening daylight. The ice eventually gathered into a frozen shore-line, and soon afterwards they were passing over tree-covered hills and high mountains. As they drew closer to one of the mountains, they began to descend.
Okay, firstly, *why* is S so far away from Lolo? And second, Clark’s gonna be going nuts when Lois is nowhere to be found.
Then the crowd parted, and a small, heavily-pregnant woman waddled towards them.
“KAL-EL?!”
See? Told you that Lolo would not be happy with S bringing home a second mate.
“Lo...lo?” He looked at Lois. He looked at the woman. He looked at Lois again.
KAL-EL:
![[Linked Image]](https://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a057.gif)
![[Linked Image]](https://cosgan.de/images/midi/liebe/a04065.gif)
![[Linked Image]](https://cosgan.de/images/smilie/teufel/d075.gif)
LOLO:
The woman marched up to Super-Most-Definitely-Not-Clark,
This ever expanding description is funny!
took in a deep breath, and began shouting incomprehensible gibberish at top volume.
The man who was somehow Superman and also a caveman tried in vain to get a word in while the woman screamed and ranted, tears running down her face.
The caveman who was Superman followed, calling after her and apparently forgetting Lois completely.
Ou this is hilarious!
The crowd, however, had not forgotten Lois. They continued to stare at her, some daring to creep closer and a few even sniffing the air in her direction. They looked towards the cave, in the direction Super-Caveman and the woman had gone. They looked at her.
Wonder what they do to homewreckers here.
Clark stared at the lion skin on the ground, already covered with a sheen of frost that glittered in the gray light of dawn.
Dr. Carroll nudged it with the toe of his boot and turned to Dr. Diggory. “What do you think: an American Lion?”
Week, that answers the question whether they’re alone out here.
“She came to the remains of the fire, and was surprised by...a very lost lion.
Who then shed his skin?
Lois somehow managed to kill it, without either of them drawing blood. She then skinned it and disappeared with the rest of the body.”
Sounds…reasonable an explanation?
DR. LEWIS: /draws S in the ground/ Just as reasonably as a flying man?
The scientist shook his head. “No, that's my *hypothesis*. Do you have a better one?”
Just about *any* (including an alien from another planet has kidnapped her) would sound more realistic.
“Could she have been abducted by aliens?”
I did not read ahead!
Dr. Carroll rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Please don't tell me you're one of those people who think all of man's early accomplishments were due to Promethean aliens.”
Not all. Just fire and the wheel. Man managed the spear all by themselves.
The four scientists all nodded, and Dr. Diggory spoke. “Oh, very. Assuming humans still exist on this planet as on ours, the era in which they cross the land-bridge into Alaska is still a very long way away.”
Funny thing. There was a documentary a couple years ago on how there’s been several migrations.
In order to stand a chance on this continent right now, you'd either need the advantages of modern technology, or you'd need to be Superman.”
Erm… aside from the Superman-business, I mean.
Jimmy whimpered and pulled the thermal blanket up over his head, like a turtle retreating into its shell.
There there.
“So does this mean that the rationing—OW!”
Did someone just hit Lex?
The roast beef smelled and tasted like heaven!
Mmmm…good possum…good!
, the simple fare that was just burned in a fire with no seasonings put the modern, fancy-packaged foods provided by LexLabs to shame.
That’s probably the hunger speaking. Although steak *is* just aged beef on a grill.
One woman surrounded by several children had even come right up to Lois, looked her over with a decidedly belittling expression, and tried to feel Clark's jacket. At a word from the old man, the woman had let go and departed with her children, but Lois still burned with an instant dislike of her.
That’s got to be the local feline woman. She’s not impressed with the unstylish clothing Lois is wearing.
Deeper into the cave, the Super-Caveman she'd mistaken for Clark had apparently begun to lose his patience with the pregnant woman. Lois couldn't understand their words, but their tones and body language translated for them.
Gold. Just comedic gold. Are you going to submit this as a single story or do we need to choose which of the Ice Age stories we nominate?
The woman planted her feet apart and folded her arms over her belly, glaring at him. With a sigh, he rolled his eyes and turned away, pushing his fingers up through his hair.
You kidnap *one* woman who looks like your pregnant wive *before* she was pregnant to bring home and warm your bed and you never hear the end of it.
Something about the motion sent a jolt through Lois, and she tried to figure out why it seemed so familiar. It was certainly never something she'd seen Superman do back home...
Yes, this is the elusive universe where Superman and Clark Kent are the same person.
Really, it was hard to imagine Superman, in any universe, having what appeared to be a marital spat. Imagining him married was easy enough: that was a fantasy she'd frequently indulged in, with herself as the co-star.
![[Linked Image]](https://cosgan.de/images/midi/froehlich/b019.gif)
No, Superman was perfect, and it followed that any relationship he entered would be perfect too.
Uh-huh.
It was exactly how her partner dragged out her name whenever she was—well, whenever he *thought* she was being unreasonable.
Matryoshka comedy!
Of course, the caveman was somehow this world's Superman.
And the caveman was Clark.
So, oops?
She inhaled. “HELP, SUPERMAN!”
A perfectly reasonable reaction.
a crack of thunder shook the forest and Superman stood in front of her. Slacks and a dress-shirt replaced the tights, but Lois knew the truth.
What a fun read on a dreary wet and cold fall day!
Michael
