Darth Michael: 
Hi there! Remember me?
/takes off RL mask/ It’s the ER!
I'm so glad to hear from you, Michael. I was worried you had fallen off a cliff playing Pokemon Go. /or some other equally horrible death/ I'm glad to see, it was only RL holding you hostage. I hope you haven't contracted a bad case of Stockholm Syndrome.
This is Smallville. Although, Rachel’s dead in this one, so her bedroom wouldn’t be right. Hmm… and he doesn’t particularly like Lana. /huh/
i.e. no rescues pending.
So, apparently, he doesn’t, huh?
CLARK: I already thought ‘no’! What else do you need? A naked Loi… /devil/
She doesn't show up on this side of the boards. Sorry.
“You do recall that tonight is about your pleasure, right?” he countered instead.
They’re going to sneak into the Sherriff’s office to find incriminating stuff on the local establishment?
Perfect! I wish I had thought of that response.
Aww…she just wants to talk.
CLARK: /wallbash/ I’ve been offering her that kind of a relationship for months now. /Wait. Talk about ME? Help!/
So, in a way, she's still investigating.
That’s what he’s been telling her to stall for the past couple of months now?
CLARK: And people wonder why they’ve decided to drop the red undergarments on Superman and just have him strut around all blue around the hip area…
Literally, it makes a nice metaphor.
CLARK: Kill me. Kill me now.
EW: They weren't the same woman.
CLARK: Oh, thank God!
“Blonde, huh?”
He shrugged. Lana couldn’t help what color hair she was born with.
LANA: Actually, I could…
CLARK: Wow, Lana! You must've spent the whole spring vacation out on the beach. The sun has really kissed your hair.
LANA: He really is a sweet, simple Kansas farm boy, isn't he?
Come to think of it, Lex beds the petite blondes and marries the argumentative brunettes, huh?
Why Blondes prefer Arrow and Batman to Superman. They actually keep 'em around, well, for them.
Who knew that talking about having kids while sitting half-naked on a bed could be so utterly erotic?
ER: /Me!/
My Betas thought so, too. Perhaps the EW is the naive one here.
“Eh. Beauty is over-rated and boring after a while. Bubbles pop. I want someone who pushes my boundaries, makes me think, and is pleasing to look at.”
CAT: /confused/ And that *still* doesn’t explain our situation…
PHIL: /EXcuse me!/
CAT: What? Can’t I have wounded pride, too?
No. I think Cat would've kept him on his toes and supplied interesting conversation. Not the same type of conversation as Lois does. However, that kind of stimulating conversation would've grown eventually.
That makes him 'immobile with pleasure'? I thought it made him want to hang around Jimmy more.
/hands out deck of cards/
Oh. Isn't that sweet. Michael doesn't want Clark to break his vow either.
LOIS:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/o050.gif)
/hands Clark a rock so he can put Lois between a rock and…well…/
CLARK: Is it a green glowing rock?
He was a teenage boy and she was blonde and bubbly.
Yep.
He wanted her alive and happier.
So, basically, she wanted some kind of dog that’s house trained?
You've read ahead!
Isn’t that also true for certain breeds of dogs?
That's the rumor.
So, basically, she’s a Type-A personality? /uses red pen to draw the A/
That's why she was so conflicted. She never acted on those fantasies.
And not just daydreams about you being my slave and paying me compliments, like total sex fantasies, where you had a bare chest for some reason…
To be fair, he probably had those, too…
CLARK:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/c085.gif)
No comment.
…he accidentally misplaced his glasses…
CLARK: What? Glasses aren't sexy? Damn. Ma!
Aww…did she just make him…very happy?
No. Opposite.
Aww…she really *is* like Kryptonite.
Only if Lana were Kryptonite.
CLARK: That would explain a whole heck of a lot.
NOR: Club her over the head and drag her to your castle?
ZARA: First thing I'll change as Supreme Leader. (or whatever they call themselves)
/scratches at screen/ hmm…
Thanks. I cleaned the screen of my Archive version.
She not noticing that Lana’s supposed to be Kryptonian and doesn’t want to fly, or rather, can’t abide by his flying? Maybe she’s got a disability, like her flotation bubble got damaged or some such horrible thing? Maybe that’s why he’s calling her ‘bubbly’, because she’s only got a very small flotation bubble and can’t float on her own power and he was looking for someone who’d latch onto him? I’m not sure he’s a very nice person.
LEX: I think that makes perfect sense.
Maybe on Krypton only men could fly. Or maybe only Clark could.
What about having sex with him?
LOIS: Fine. To date.
No, it was good. But it could get better. She's already told him that.
CLARK: Just what every man wants to hear.
LOIS: That we need more practice?
CLARK:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/verschiedene/b075.gif)
Never mind.
Not sure that works with Lois. After all, he’s talking to someone he’s left at least two fiancé’s at the altar.
Who has left two fiances at the altar? Lois only left Lex and Lana dumped Clark. Oh, you mean, two women have left Clark (in Lois's opinion). That wasn't his fault.
LOIS: So he says. I mean, isn't that what most mean say to women, while behind their back they tell their male friends how they dumped this woman and broke the heart of that woman. Who knows what the truth really is?
