Hee... just saving my spot.
Back...
You already know that I'm excited about this story, Diane! Everything I've seen of it has just been so full of emotion!!! You have a masterful use of imagery. The visual imagery is superbly done in this part alone.
The emotions are tangible and translate directly through to the reader. Wonderful job setting the scene and the sense of impending doom.
I've always said that I'm not too huge a fan of the first-person narrative, but between you and Pam and a few others, I've decided I need to change my mind about it. What a fantastic idea to have a story narrated by a character we've never met before, struggling through an impossible situation. The weight of Superman's fate is resting on poor Jake's shoulders. And you've scattered little clues about that make me not so confident that he can handle something like this. What a huge responsibility!
My voice bit at him as I set the air conditioner to full blast. That was good, right, for a fever?
Loved this because it shows Jake as human, someone with faults and uncertainties. He's not perfect, and even though he's a dad, he doesn't know what to do in every situation.
God, please, I begged. Don't let him die in my car. Not in front of my children. Not again...
*This* just kills me. The foreshadowing of something dreadful that happened, something that may color his reactions in how he handles the situation.
Superman was dying in my driveway.
I tried not to think about it as I ran for the hose.
And wow!! What a place to leave us off!! And what an image!
You've also managed to give us a taste of what Clark's feeling. The little moans and groans and his posture... Intense.
Can't wait to read the rest... still haven't seen it all in order.
Sara
