Very nice start, April! goofy First, this was a very short instalment. Sure, it works; it gets attention and it's a good place to stop. But most story instalments here are a lot longer than that.

With this instalment, I'd be tempted to flesh it out a bit more. As Anna said, it's got a fast pace. You could slow it down - give us more details. For instance, tell us more about Lois and Clark's joy in their new child. Show us some scenes with the three of them. Bring in the extended family. Get us involved in Lois and Clark and Jonathan and Martha and Sam and Ellen and Perry and Jimmy and Lucy, all delighted with the new Kent arrival. And then give us the WHAM.

Telling the story more slowly will make it more interesting, too. smile

Second - and you may already have this planned - how come Luthor is alive? In the series, he was dead by the time Lois and Clark were married. Are you going to explain this? And are you going to tell us why he wants the baby? Does he know that Clark is Superman?

And a very minor point - I noticed a few grammatical errors here and there. I'm sure you proof-read before posting, but you might also consider getting a beta-reader who can help you with spelling and grammar, and maybe also with your pacing.

Good luck! And welcome to the boards. thumbsup


Wendy smile


Just a fly-by! *waves*