Hey, April

That's a nice and promising plotline! You should definitely continue.

I have a suggestion: Since the story moves quite fast with this pace you've adopted, you could finish it this way, post it and then start working on a longer version of it, where you could use the short version as a plan for it.

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

I know that there are several authors on this board that would read such a fic. I also might be able to twist my arm into doing it as well.

ow, ow, stop that!

Ok, I would read it too.

James

ACK! Continue...cmon now. Or add something. I like what you have so far. Unless this is the end. Then I might have to crawl through the computer and bite you.

Rach

Hi,

Interesting.

I hate Luthor!

MAF

Very nice start, April! First, this was a very short instalment. Sure, it works; it gets attention and it's a good place to stop. But most story instalments here are a lot longer than that.

With this instalment, I'd be tempted to flesh it out a bit more. As Anna said, it's got a fast pace. You could slow it down - give us more details. For instance, tell us more about Lois and Clark's joy in their new child. Show us some scenes with the three of them. Bring in the extended family. Get us involved in Lois and Clark and Jonathan and Martha and Sam and Ellen and Perry and Jimmy and Lucy, all delighted with the new Kent arrival. And then give us the WHAM.

Telling the story more slowly will make it more interesting, too.

Second - and you may already have this planned - how come Luthor is alive? In the series, he was dead by the time Lois and Clark were married. Are you going to explain this? And are you going to tell us why he wants the baby? Does he know that Clark is Superman?

And a very minor point - I noticed a few grammatical errors here and there. I'm sure you proof-read before posting, but you might also consider getting a beta-reader who can help you with spelling and grammar, and maybe also with your pacing.

Good luck! And welcome to the boards.


Wendy

Welcome April! You've definately got my attention. I'm very curious to see what you make of this.

Jackie

Ooooooooh, chilling start, April.

I agree with others - I'd like to see a lot more detail. Like Wendy, fanfic about babies isn't to my taste - but this looks less about the baby as it does a good aplotted, Evil Luthor attempts to make Clark and Lois's lives miserable story. <g> Could be wrong and you have something else planned, but that angle did intrigue me.

LabRat

Hi

I would like to read more

Karla

I only read the first few lines - I'm already afraid. I'm going to have to work myself up to this one

I'm such a baby.

Lex should be stay dead. This is not a story I probably would not read. At best I would skim it.

Tricia

April - very intriguing!

I would read it [assuming I can stay out of lurkdom :-/].

Please continue !
Carol