Clark: Wait a second. We're married now? With this cord and these outfits, I thought we were just modeling the new drapes...

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Zara: Next comes the ritual examination.

Clark: Examinaion?

Zara: Yes. Uhm, I'm not entirely familiar with Earth's customs, but you were raised Jewish... right?

(Sorry, that's what happens after you spend so much time in the pick-up lines thread...)

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Zara: Now that we've been officially married, it's time for us to take the next step...

Clark: You don't mean...

Zara: Dinner with the in-laws.

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Zara: Now, to prove your worthiness to be my husband, you must stand by my side during the coming ordeal.

Clark: Well, I've still got some of my super powers...

Zara: I'm afraid that won't help you here.

Clark: Why not? What do I need to do?

Zara: It is an ancient Kryptonian test of male patience and strength of will. It is called the Purchasing of the Shoes...

----

Zara: The wedding feast will be presided over by the royal minstrel, a famed bard who only recently returned to us. His name is Elvis...

----

Zara: Clark, use your X-ray vision. Look behind that wall.

Clark: Okay. There's... Wait, what's that doing there?

Zara: Smile, you're on Candid Camera!

Clark: But... but...

Zara: New Krypton. I can't believe you fell for that...


When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.