Thanks so much to everyone who has commented either publicly or privately while I was reposting this. Your feedback has meant a lot to me. I'm so glad everyone seemed to enjoy this the second time around. I feel much better about this version.
Before I get to the specific comments, I need to address this:
hey annie. glad to hear you realize clay isn't the pope.
Paul, of COURSE he isn't the Pope. The Pope can't get married, and that would put a real cramp in my future plans. :p
Okay, back to our regularly scheduled programing...
Yes! Paul gets his come-uppance! He deserved that so much! It was so satisfying to see.
That seems to be the general consensus. I have to admit that it was pretty satisfying to write too. <G>
Loved the 'talk', loved Paul's getting his (although I was sort of hoping that you'd mention how Clark made him pay for 'their' room, but that's okay ),
I think I might have addressed this earlier, but I specifically didn't put that in here because the reporters aren't paying for their hotel rooms, the papers are. That means a) Paul would suffer no punishment for having to pay and b) Clark would have to explain why he wasn't in his room, and where he was instead. <G>
An emotional roller coaster for them, and then physically you have them up and down as well. It's a good thing our boy has "super" will power, Annie. But I agree, I think it would have been a *big* mistake for them to carry on; I like the way they're pulling back and taking their time.
I'm glad this came across. As nice as it would have been to have a "happily ever after" scene here, they just weren't ready.
And finally:
Okay, now that you've posted the last part of the rewrite, where's the first part of Playing for Keeps????
/me takes a deep breath and prepares for what's coming. Okay, I'm working on it, I promise. Every day, in fact. But it's kinda slow going. Also, if it stays with the tradition I've started of each part growing, we're in for an epic. Playing the Park was roughly 60K and Playing to Win in roughly 190K. I really hope Playing for Keeps falls somewhere in the middle, but I'm not sure I can keep it that short. In any case, even though I'm writing every day, don't expect to see it anytime soon. I already have quite a bit written, but I don't post until the story is finished, so it's still going to be a little while. But that means that when it is done, you can count on me to post each part quickly.
All right, enough of my ramblings. Thanks so much everyone. I'm going to make a few more recommended changes, then it's off to the archives. Playing for Keeps will be up as soon as it's done.
Annie
