Wow! You're ready to post this already? I wasn't expecting this until after your next Matchmaker Vol. I'm also impressed that you've been able to condense this epic into 7 parts. <<rubs hands together>> Let's get started, shall we?
Oh, poor Clark. Lois has been taken and he has no suspects. Interesting that when he files through everyone who knows he's Superman, he doesn't suspect someone who HE doesn't know knows (the unknown person).
I did get a little jolted when Clark latched onto Tempus as Suspect #1 and then seemed to disregard that for the NKs and others. I was like, but he decided on Tempus, why has he gone back to thinking about the NKs, whom he's already discarded as suspects? And thinking about the NKs, he didn't suspect an ally of Nor's whom he was unfamiliar with.
I wonder who he thinks he can contact to help him.
I agree with Bobbart about the POVs, but mine was the POV switch from Lois changing in the bathroom to Clark's. The whole scene is from Lois's POV, except for the last line. I recommend moving this:
He had heard her yelp of surprise and then there had been nothing but silence. Her heartbeat had disappeared. When he opened the door to the bathroom all that was there was her bag. He shouted, “Lois!” and the profound anguish in his voice was plain. He collapsed to the floor on his knees, overcome by his grief and loss.
Into the next scene, which is entirely from Clark's POV.
Also, you might want to rephrase this line:
The window was closed before Clark could respond.
It's from Clark's POV and he doesn't yet know about the "window". Unless you switched it to: "The window closed before Lois could hear Clark respond."
I can't wait for the heartache to hit Clark over the head in Part 2.
