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I plan to follow a weekly on Wednesday schedule for this.

Sniff. Sniff,

This is very sad, but exciting at the same time. After Lois's disappearance, Clark takes charge and in a very Sherlock Holmes manner tries to figure out who aducted his bride.

After a serious round of mental deduction he comes to the conclusion that it was Tempus.

This expanded version of the story allows us to see Clark in all his stages of grief.

Very well done!!!

Hi Morgana,

After the comments received on the short version it became abundantly apparent that there was roughly ninety years of content left out.

I was left in a quanxry however because my principle beta reader was encouraging me to keep the story under 200k. That is why this is only going to be 7 parts.

I may add some more detail for the archive version, but if I do it won't be much.

All in all this is a major departure from my other stories. There aren't any major super rescues or things of that nature but it still has a lot of content.

Hi, Ken.

Interesting to see some more detail. I'm looking forward to see how Clark - and others - cope with Lois's disappearance.

One comment on style. As you are telling the story, remember to balance the POV against what you are trying to achieve. A 3rd person POV is good for conveying information but it's not so good for conveying emotional impact in a scene.

Consider the following:
Internal Clark POV:
I can't believe Lois is gone. I don't know how I'm supposed to go on without her.
External Clark POV:
Grief filled Clark. He struggled with thoughts of how to go on without Lois.

If I were trying to convey an emotion, I would always try to find a way to stage the scene using the internal POV.

Just an idea.

Bob

Wow! You're ready to post this already? I wasn't expecting this until after your next Matchmaker Vol. I'm also impressed that you've been able to condense this epic into 7 parts. <<rubs hands together>> Let's get started, shall we?

Oh, poor Clark. Lois has been taken and he has no suspects. Interesting that when he files through everyone who knows he's Superman, he doesn't suspect someone who HE doesn't know knows (the unknown person).

I did get a little jolted when Clark latched onto Tempus as Suspect #1 and then seemed to disregard that for the NKs and others. I was like, but he decided on Tempus, why has he gone back to thinking about the NKs, whom he's already discarded as suspects? And thinking about the NKs, he didn't suspect an ally of Nor's whom he was unfamiliar with.

I wonder who he thinks he can contact to help him.

I agree with Bobbart about the POVs, but mine was the POV switch from Lois changing in the bathroom to Clark's. The whole scene is from Lois's POV, except for the last line. I recommend moving this:

Into the next scene, which is entirely from Clark's POV.

Also, you might want to rephrase this line:

It's from Clark's POV and he doesn't yet know about the "window". Unless you switched it to: "The window closed before Lois could hear Clark respond."

I can't wait for the heartache to hit Clark over the head in Part 2.

Hi Bob,

Thanks for the FDK and the suggestions.

Yeah, POV has always been my problem. I’ve been working to get away from it but I guess in my attempt to get this down while it was fresh in my mind I slipped into old habits. I’ll have some work to do on this before I send it to the archive.

I really appreciate the pointers.

Virginia,

Between you and Bob I have had terrific suggestion on how to improve this piece.

I have already edited this part so anyone reading from this point on is reading the edited story.

I like this new version better. More smooth!

Virginia,

Thank you. I was hoping you would approve.