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#79844 06/13/11 08:44 AM
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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If you are still reading, I'd love some feedback on the chapter and on the story as a whole.


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

#79845 06/13/11 03:41 PM
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That was a sweet ending to the story. Laura smile


Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”

Caroline's "Stardust"
#79846 06/13/11 04:20 PM
Joined: Dec 2004
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Aww love the ending.


Superman: I hear you've been looking for me.
Lois: All my life.
#79847 06/13/11 04:57 PM
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Quote
Originally posted by Laurach:
That was a sweet ending to the story. Laura smile
Thanks so much!


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

#79848 06/13/11 04:58 PM
Joined: May 2011
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Quote
Originally posted by jackiek:
Aww love the ending.
Thanks! smile


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

#79849 06/13/11 05:48 PM
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"Clark," Lois said, cupping her hand beneath his chin to raise his head, forcing him to look at her. "If General Zod had killed you, everyone on New Krypton would have suffered and died under Nor's rule."
Plus, Zod would have come to Earth, and we all know how well *that* would have worked out. frown

Quote
"And now...you've lived what they are going through, worse even. I think they'll recognize that aspect of you, even if they don't know why."
This is a really good comment and very true. People no doubt think, "Superman! He has all those powers - he can't possibly know how I feel." But as Lois says, what he went through on New Krypton will come out in his interactions, somehow.

Quote
"Clark, every experience that we live through helps to shape who we are. We all have to choose whether our experiences will destroy us or if they will strengthen us. What will you decide?" There was a mild note of challenge and defiance in her voice.
Very true and not just for Superman, for everyone. And it's very in-character for Lois to challenge Clark with that right now. She created Superman and she'll keep him going. (And then, other times, she'll need a kind word or a challenge, and Clark will be there for her.)

Quote
Clark snorted in mock indignation. "I think I can manage. Who are we playing?"
I'm a little confused by this. Are you saying that Clark is going to manage the softball team (i.e, be the non-playing field manager) or that he finds himself able to hit a baseball, so he will be playing on the team?

Quote
A blonde little girl of four years looked up at him with fear-filled green eyes. As she registered the suit he was wearing, she stood and stepped into his arms.
Because she recognizes Superman from the Suit and knows that Superman is a good guy. smile

#79850 06/13/11 06:17 PM
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Plus, Zod would have come to Earth, and we all know how well *that* would have worked out.
Chaos, mayhem, death and destruction. And then his work would have been done. frown

Quote
This is a really good comment and very true. People no doubt think, "Superman! He has all those powers - he can't possibly know how I feel." But as Lois says, what he went through on New Krypton will come out in his interactions, somehow.
Exactly! He's kind of better equipped to help them now. And yeah, who wouldn't think that he leads a charmed life with all of those powers.

Quote
Very true and not just for Superman, for everyone. And it's very in-character for Lois to challenge Clark with that right now. She created Superman and she'll keep him going. (And then, other times, she'll need a kind word or a challenge, and Clark will be there for her.)
That's one of the many really beautiful things about their relationship, isn't it? I actually almost went with the "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" cliche, but I realized that Clark DID need Lois to challenge him.

Quote
I'm a little confused by this. Are you saying that Clark is going to manage the softball team (i.e, be the non-playing field manager) or that he finds himself able to hit a baseball, so he will be playing on the team?
He's going to be playing on the team. I meant it as "I think I can manage to hit a ball." I may need to reword that before sending it to the archive.

Quote
Because she recognizes Superman from the Suit and knows that Superman is a good guy.
Metropolis children are taught to trust police officers, firemen, and Superman. laugh


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

#79851 06/13/11 10:07 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
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Features Writer
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Very nice ending! I wasn't sure at first when I saw you were ending with a little girl and Superman rather than Lois and Clark, but it turned out to be just the perfect touch. Exactly what he needed!

I also liked the nice touch of planning to surprise Jimmy with Clark's return to work--small, but very sweet.

Great story!

#79852 06/14/11 06:55 AM
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Very nice ending! I wasn't sure at first when I saw you were ending with a little girl and Superman rather than Lois and Clark, but it turned out to be just the perfect touch. Exactly what he needed!
I had to be nice to Clark at the end and give him some healing. I put the poor guy through the mill in this fic. Glad you enjoyed the ending though. I know you've been waiting for this chapter.

Quote
I also liked the nice touch of planning to surprise Jimmy with Clark's return to work--small, but very sweet.

Great story!
Thanks for picking up on some of the more subtle details! I can picture Jimmy's face right now....

Thanks for sticking with the story!


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon


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