Wow, Julia killed two of the Jils, and she isn't even a psychic! Unless she's the kind Mark is. I hadn't realized that she was tall until this section when Alan finally commented on her height. So I was still picturing her as a petite "possible psychic"--especially with as empathic as she seemed re the trols and Jils she was pointing her blaster at.
That brings up an issue I mentioned in the FDK for part one, Nan. You did give some physical descriptions in part 2, but that was a little late for introducing a main character. You need to find a way to move those to the first time we encounter the character so we can have a rough, brief sense of age, size, and coloring within the first scene. Those initial images stay with readers, and without them, we make up our own, which may not fit: like Julia's height.
Man, poor Alan must be beat to pieces. Has he had a chance for his ankle to heal since the last adventure? Now his face is all beat up. Someone needs to teach him how to protect himself. That, or he needs to start wearing football pads and a helmet.
