Just starting a new threat again since the other was past 50 again.

Next up is Elisabeth!

Saskia
Section Moderator

Since I didn't have a chance to say this at the XV thread, I'll stick it here (sorry):

They sure air them in Canada, Paul.

Julie

Elisabeth is thrilled to have won, but doesn't have easy access from home.

I've downloaded all of Christiane's pics.
/mr_d8a's poor mouse needs an overhaul...

She will pick something out tonight or tomorrow.

James

Ohhh, so many pictures to choose from.

In the end, I couldn't pick just one.

Here they are.




and




Elisabeth

1: I can't help it, you just look *so* good in black!

2: Gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee!!!

1/ Lois: No need to procastinate, Clark! I won! Scissors cut the paper sheet... even a 2 year old would know that!

2/ Clark: Listen, for the last time, I'm not the Corn Green Giant, and no, I won't compete for Mister Smallville Corn Festival.

Lois (OS): That's what I call 'being corn-ered' Kent!

Carole

--

Picture No 1:

Lois: Look at your clothes! I can't go out with you if you're dressed like a hick from Nowheresville!
Clark: I'll go change clothes, Lois! It'll just take a few mom... er, minutes.

--

Picture No 2:

Clark: I'm stuck on Earth and she's using my powers to play Ultrawoman. That can't be fair.

--

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

1. Clark: Why are we doing this, again?

Lois: Clark, you eventually want to have children, right?

Clark: Right.

Lois: Well if you want to have kids, you're going to have to learn how to do this.

Clark: I dunno...

Lois: Look, Clark, it's easy: Patty-cake, patty-cake, Baker's man...

picture #1:

lois: ... and what were you thinking with that tie? where do you get these things, and why do you wear them? look at it! just look at it! how could you wear something like that? can't you...

clark (silently): lord, grant me the patience and the strength...

---

picture #2:

clark, thinking: okay, they're not looking... good. so, i'll just toss this ear of corn up into the air, focus my heat vision, and by the time it comes down... popcorn!

---

clark: come on, lois! you can do it! come on, you've done scarier things!

lois, thinking: what am i doing here? how did clark convince me to enter myself in the corn queen pagent? why does the corn queen pagent have a high diving contest? where do they come up with this stuff? and just who dug a pool deep enough for this right in the middle of a cornfield?

---

clark: here, krypto! come on boy! here boy! come on, krypto! land here and be a good boy before anyone notices i have a flying dog. no, krypto! no chasing the airplanes, krypto!

---

clark, thinking: okay, clear day. the wind is coming from... the northwest. next hole is in wichita. i've got a 3 wood, so that should be okay... no planes overhead...

clark, out loud: FORE!

No fair! You make me choose between rock/paper/scissors and patty cake and the serenity prayer, on the one hand, and popcorn and golfing on the other. And it's so obvious I'm having a hard time narrowing things down to one.

Too bad I don't have a three-sided die to roll.

Okay, Hatman gets the nod for both his prayer and his city-to-city golf game.

Cheers.

Elisabeth.

well, a 6-sider will work. just assign 2 numbers to each possibility.

glad i was picked without that, tho. thanks!

okay, so, new pic...

well, the bad news is that most of the links i'd stored for future use seem to be broken. looks like christiane had a change of servers. i'll have to come back and change most of the old caption archive links later.

the good news is that i was able to take a sec (even tho i shouldn't have just now...) to find a new pic.

so, see what you can do with this:



Paul

"MMMphh... too much lemon juice..."

--
Perry: Now here's something I never thought I'd find inside a saucepan. Who put it in here?
--

AnnaBtG.

"...And now, my secret ingredient: A genuine lock of The King's hair!"

Jimmy: Chief, when Lois asked you to help her with lobster bisque and crayfish, I don't think she meant you should dress the part...

Perry: Wait 'til I tell her I can't even fry an egg.

Jack : Take-out anyone?

Perry: Kids! I didn't became editor in chief because I could cook. Now the keyword here is efficiency! So whaddya think? Paava leaves to enhance the taste?

Jimmy (to Jack): Call Desserts Deli, I'll try the Shellfish Castle!

Carole

Sure, these babies look wriggly and squirmy now, but once they're cooked... mmmmboy, they're good!

Perry: "I'm telling you boys that when I finish Love Potion Number 13, 13 will be your lucky number."

~*~

Perry: "Burnt Jimmy's lips off. Burnt my lips off. Jack, it's your turn."

~*~

Perry: "If you think this is bad, you should see what became of Clark's ficus."

~*~

Jimmy: "I know what Jack said about home use, Chief, but are you sure meth labs are legal?"

~*~

Perry: "I'll just dye these boots and try on a cape, and ... Voila! I'm Ultra Editor."

~*~

Jimmy: "This is the one that got away. Perry jumped in and grabbed it just like that."

~*~

Jack: I wonder what they're serving back at the prison?

Elisabeth

Jimmy: I thought only cats coughed up hairballs...

okay, been a few days since the last caption (sorry, i've been in transit...), so it's time to pick a winner. some really good ones here, but several of my favorites came from the same person. so, although i don't usually do this, i think i'm going to have to pick our previous winner... elizabeth! great job! you're up.

Paul

Thanks, Paul.

Here is the next picture.



Have at it.
Elisabeth

Lois: "Now Perry, I know that you are a Minister for the Church of Blue Suade Deliverance and all, and that having the backup singers all be Elvis imitators..."

Clark: Elvis imitator? A wedding in Graceland? Lois what are you doing!?!? I can't take this anymore!!!

James

Voiceover: When both Metropolis's greatest reporter and the editor of the greatest newspaper in the world both lose their cool at the same time, it's even too much for the Man of Steel to bear!

~~~~~~~~~~

Clark (near screaming-point): I can't stand it any more! She's ignored me ever since I was hired. And now she's refusing to work with me... why did I ever think I wanted to work at the Planet?

~~~~~~~~~~

Lois: "It's all that hypnotist's fault, Chief! Clark hasn't been the same since you sent us to the Magic Club on that story. If anyone so much as whispers 'help' he totally freaks out!"


Wendy

lois: don't worry, perry. i'll go undercover as a singer. here, listen. "... and i-eee-i-eee-iiiiiiiiii will always love yooOOOOuuuu...."

--
Clark: (thinking) Lois may think that telling him she's going to the Metropolis Star would be a good April Fool's joke, but I'd better be careful.
--

AnnaBtG.

Well, nothing for a couple days so...

Drum roll please (We really need a drumming smiley)

Wendy!!!!

For her Elisabeth

Me?! Thanks, Elisabeth! But you picked a great picture to work with.

Okay, I just had to do it. Here's the next photo:



Have at it!!


Wendy

Lois: "Clark? CLARK! I'm so sorry! I promise it will never happen again! We will never EVER eat at Ralph's Pagoda again, no matter who invites us! Dad, don't just stand there, quick call an ambulance, we need to get Clark's stomach pumped immediately!"

Clark: [groaning and dis-joined] "It's not...so much the...food...as their new...green salt & pepper...shakers. They're turning...my stomach!"

Sam: [off stage] "CHECK PLEASE!"

Lois: What the---? Hey, there's lipstick on his collar!

--------------------------------------------

Lois: Clark?! Clark, I was kidding! I'm not really having Lex's baby; it was an April Fool's joke! Clark?!

--------------------------------------------

Clark (thinking): I should tell her I'm not really dead...

Lois: Stand back, everyone! I'm going to try mouth-to-mouth!

Clark: Then again...

lois: clark? clark? oh, no! claaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrkkk!

clark (thinking): oh, great. we're going through another TOGOM rewrite. sure, they're good stories, but i'm getting tired of having to play dead... one of these days i'm just going to have to get right back up, declare that i'm superman, and take care of everyth -- oh no. now i'm doing it, too. i am not going to rewrite this scene while going through it yet again...

----

clark, weakly: lois... can't breathe... need... mouth-to-mouth...

---

lois: so, clark, what do you think? i bumped into an old friend of yours, and she said you liked emeralds. even gave me this necklace. it's so unique, isn't it? looks like it glows all by itself. i've never seen anything like it. not sure if it really goes with this dress, though. i mean, red and green... is that too christmasy for the summer, clark? clark? oh no! clark, what happened? are you okay? someone get this man a doctor! oh, clark, please be okay. here, take the necklace. maybe it'll bring you good luck...

--
Lois: I knew I looked good, but I didn't know I looked that good I could make him faint! Anyway... Clark, honey, wake up, we'll miss the movie!
--

AnnaBtG.

Lois: Clark, Clark, wake up, I just said I was *thinking* about getting my hair cut.

Tank (who occasionally has to uphold his end)

lois: wow, can you believe how much superman has done today? first that earthquake in california, then the volcano in japan, then the flooding in india, and he still made it back on time to handle those fires downtown. he's amazing. how does he do it all? do you think he needs sleep, clark? ... clark? ... wow, it tires you out just hearing about it, doesn't it?

Clark! Oh, CLAAAARK!

How could you wear that tie??

Lois: Step 1: Check the victim for unresponsiveness. Clark, Clark, are you okay? If there is no response, Call 911. Step 2: . . .

------------

Lois: I thought you guys were supposed to be dwarves. And isn't he supposed to be kissing me to wake me up? No? Okay. I think this has to be a trick. Fine. Pucker up, Clark. See! I knew this was a trick. His lips just moved!


------------

Lois: Wow, the frog did turn into a prince.

voice -- he's not exactly a prince.

Lois: What! I kissed a frog and he just turned into a guy in a suit?
---------
Yeah, I know, these weren't funny at all. I'm just waiting for my laundry to dry so I can go to bed <g>.

- Laura

Lois: Mmm...no heartbeat nor breath I guess its time for CPR but first lemme loosen his tie and unbutton his shirt that way i can look at his delicious chest while I revive him! (giggles girlishly)
Clark: Mmmm...I should play unconcious more often

(Warning: neurone's friday wear can be hazardous to captions)

Clark: K... k...

Lois: All right! it's a Karaoke bar but I'm just here undercover, really.

OS: Lola! On stage in 5 minutes!

Lois: 'Coming Swifty! Look Clark, I really should be going...

Clark: K... k...

Lois: ...Thursdays are 'Vocals by Lola Nale's' nights. Promise me you won't tell Perry.

Clark: K...

Lois : Thanks, you're the best! (leaves and heads backstage)

Clark: K... killer outfit.

Carole

Okay, there've been no new captions today so I guess it's time for me to pick a winner. Lots of good ones here - I laughed at Paul's image of Clark collaping at the thought of Superman's exhaustion, and Laura's 'pucker up' raised a grin too. Tank's haircut made me groan. And as for Paul's TOGOM rewrites...

But these two really did it for me:



The winner is: Queen of the Capes! Step up, Mary!


Wendy

ME?! Yippee!! Thanks, Wendy!
*runs off to find a picture...*

*...runs back.*
Okay, I think I found one.
Let's see what you can do with this:

Clark: And I..... will always love YOUUUUUUUUUU..... So am I in the choir now?

-------
(give some credit to my friend whop helped me think of that one. )

Julie

I hope it's not considered as 'stealing'...

--
Clark: LOIS! HOW DID YOU DARE CUT YOUR HAIR?!
--

AnnaBtG.

excuse me? i asked for this to be shaken, not stirred. what gives? ... how can i tell? isn't it obvious? see the way these vodka molecules over here... uhm, that is... it tastes different. that's why i ordered it that way. ... no, i don't think i'm james bond. i'm su-- just a mild-mannered reporter. who happens to have unusually sensitive taste buds. some people are like that, okay? now, can i have the drink i ordered, please?

Lois: (off screen) "You're... juggling. You're a clown? Bozo the Clown!"
Clark: (exasperated) "Jeez, Lois, no, I'm supposed to be--"
Lois: "Shh. Talking is not allowed. You really stink at Charades, Clark."

Clark: "My hands!! What is wrong with my hands?"

Lois: "I told you if you kept guesturing like that Clark, that one day they would get stuck in that position!"

I know I know...

Lois (O.S): funny this pen-shaped maglite of yours Clark.

Clark: Lois! Don't touch this! It's a S.T.A.R Labs prototype. Just don't switch it o... The effect of GMR is most usually seen in magnetic multilayered structures, where two magnetic layers are closely separated by a thin spacer layer a few nm thick.The first magnetic layer allows electrons in only one spin state to pass through easily -

Lois (switching it off) : Resolution 12, "learn Kleinese".

Carole

PS: silly, I know. But it's been a bad day.

Clark: Hey Lois give that book back I was just reading that!
Lois: Clark what are you doing reading 'My Twelve Year Affair With a Kryptonian'? Is there something you haven't been telling me?

"Lois, help!"

"Yikes, Clark, were you not completely recovered from the Kryptonite exposure before you sat on the couch bomb??"

"I don't know ... my hands are fine ... but my pants are on fire!"

Kathy

"Okay, I have eight mawbles in my mouth, Pwofessow Higgins. But you know, the wain in Spain faws aw ovew."

Er...anybody's here?

Are we still playing?

Carole

"Lois, I can't. I need a new caption!!"

Jose

Okay, Okay! Sorry, everybody.
It was a tie between Hatman and Wanda, but Jose's caption kinda made me snork so he wins.

Yay!!