SOMEONE MADE A BOOBOO - 10/01/06 04:23 AM
I guess you guys are the same editors for lcfanfic.com
on the "Suicidal despair " post of 1/10/06 (hehe ausie dates not American) the whole second half of the story is litterd with "delete comma/ add comma not full stop" etc.
look at this
or
or
and the worst still:
hehe... thought it shuould be noted, and didnt know where to say this
Theres more where that came from, you should fix the story up...
otherwise great story
on the "Suicidal despair " post of 1/10/06 (hehe ausie dates not American) the whole second half of the story is litterd with "delete comma/ add comma not full stop" etc.
look at this
Quote
"Clark, you don't wanna kill yourself. Please tell me the truth!
I can help you", comma before quotes Lois insisted.
I can help you", comma before quotes Lois insisted.
Quote
"No ambulance, Lois. I didn't drink and those damned pills fell on the bathroom floor. I'm not going to die on you, at least not, delete comma if you let me sleep now. Comma not period" he said almost harshly.
Quote
"We'll discuss this tomorrow, when I'm capable of it!" he said firmly and drifted away again. He could almost ignore, delete comma what she said next.
Quote
A moment later he was fast asleep and this time he didn't wake up after she touched his shoulder. Lois believed him, that he hadn't taken the pills. So she left him alone, though she was eager to talk to him. These last two sentences, of course, Lois's pov not Clark's, so it's out of place in this scene. I'd suggest moving it down to and placing it immediately after 'She still hadn't really talked to him' and before 'But now she understood...' It should fit in fine there.
Theres more where that came from, you should fix the story up...
otherwise great story