I saw this done a while ago and thought it would be fun to start one up again. Basically we write a round robin type fanfic except each person can only add five words at a time. Anyone can add and see where the story takes us. I'll start with

--"Lois, can we talk?" Clark

asked, nervously fiddling with his

remote. I need you to

try not to get mad.

I want to tell you

that Perry has decided to

partner us for the story

on the polygamous religious cult.

"Polygamous religious cult?" Lois exclaimed.

"What kind of person would

... Look, we're engaged for Elvis' sake

but we'd need another spouse

Ralph, I'd quit while ahead!!!


(FROM Jimmy, but couldn't fit that in...)

"How about Cat?" suggested Clark.

Jimmy snapped at Ralph who

Are they at the Planet? Is Clark fiddling with the remote of the Daily Planet's televisions?

grunted and turned away hastily


he he!!!, 1-looks like you guys posted seconds apart, and that is funny...
2. I forgot about the remote.... yeah, I guess that would do the video in the conference room

"No," Lois snapped. "No way."

Jimmy and Ralph looked at

The story so far...

"Lois, can we talk?" Clark asked, nervously fiddling with his remote. "I need you to try not to get mad. I want to tell you that Perry has decided to partner us for the story on the polygamous religious cult."

"Polygamous religious cult?" Lois exclaimed.

"What kind of person would... Look, we're engaged for Elvis' sake but we'd need another spouse"

"Ralph, I'd quit while ahead!!!"

"How about Cat?" suggested Clark.

Jimmy snapped at Ralph who grunted and turned away hastily.

"No," Lois snapped. "No way."

Jimmy and Ralph looked at


Hope that helps...

Sorry, I'm not following how Ralph fits in. Is he engaged to Lois or is offering to be her second spouse for the purpose of the story?

c.

I dunno. I'm a bit confused about it, too. I think there's been some overlapping in the flow bcoz two or more people posted at the same time... I *just* posted a compiled version of all that's been posted by other people so far

each other competitively. "what about

I am confused too about Ralph and Jimmy.

me!" they both shouted simultaneously.

I think that Ralph was trying to become the third party and Jimmy is discouriging him, I think.

Lois gave Ralph a disgusting

hope that clears it up a little,
I think it got a bit confused with some simultaneous posts....

snort, dragging Jimmy over to Clark

"Jimmy's.... well... Jimmy. Do you

think he'll do?" she asked.

"I'll do fine." Jimmy winked

at Clark. "Besides," he said,

"I look good in skirts."

"Elvis wore skirts for charity once"

Perry said, as he entered

the room with his top

lead. "Explosion on Clinton Street!"

"What? Clinton street?" Lois rushed

"No! My fish! My novel!"

"Relax, it's a long street,"

Clark called out, running behind

her."

"You're livng at Clark's?"

Ralph's suspicious voice followed as

The story so far...

"Lois, can we talk?" Clark asked, nervously fiddling with his remote. "I need you to try not to get mad. I want to tell you that Perry has decided to partner us for the story on the polygamous religious cult."

"Polygamous religious cult?" Lois exclaimed."What kind of person would... Look, we're engaged for Elvis' sake!

"But we'd need another spouse"

"Ralph, I'd quit while ahead!!!" Jimmy snapped at Ralph who grunted and turned away hastily.

"How about Cat?" suggested Clark.

"No," Lois snapped. "No way."

Jimmy and Ralph looked at each other competitively. "what about me!" they both shouted simultaneously.

Lois gave Ralph a disgusting snort, dragging Jimmy over to Clark.

"Jimmy's.... well... Jimmy. Do you think he'll do?" she asked.

"I'll do fine." Jimmy winked at Clark. "Besides," he said, "I look good in skirts."

"Elvis wore skirts for charity once" Perry said, as he entered the room with his top lead. "Explosion on Clinton Street!"

"What? Clinton street?" Lois rushed, "No! My fish! My novel!"

"Relax, it's a long street," Clark called out, running behind her.

"You're living at Clark's?" Ralph's suspicious voice followed as ...

they rushed out of the

newsroom.

"Lois, honey! Wait!" Clark

exclaimed, racing after his little tornado.

(I know this is 6 words; but hey little tornado is a proper noun name right?

Mona

Their friends were left wondering

Oh yeah little tornando is definetly a noun . Is anybody else wondering how is it that Jimmy knows he looks good in a skirt.

who's gonna be the lucky

(sorry about gonna but the rules do say only 5 words- we say 'gonna' a lot in aussieland.. do u say that over is USland too?)

The story so far...
The next 5 words are:

third wheel. Jimmy fervently wished...

that he hadn't mentioned skirts,

This is just my two cents but : isn't Cat on the East Coast when they get engaged? And I completely forgot that it wasn't Lois' apartment at Clinton. Sorry. And I am not sure about "little tornado" there. :p But yay I have been immortalised in fiction - finally!

Cheers, The Little Tornado.

however comfortable they may be

The story so far...

"Lois, can we talk?" Clark asked, nervously fiddling with his remote. "I need you to try not to get mad. I want to tell you that Perry has decided to partner us for the story on the polygamous religious cult."

"Polygamous religious cult?" Lois exclaimed."What kind of person would... Look, we're engaged for Elvis' sake!

"But we'd need another spouse"

"Ralph, I'd quit while ahead!!!" Jimmy snapped at Ralph who grunted and turned away hastily.

"How about Cat?" suggested Clark.

"No," Lois snapped. "No way."

Jimmy and Ralph looked at each other competitively. "what about me!" they both shouted simultaneously.

Lois gave Ralph a disgusting snort, dragging Jimmy over to Clark.

"Jimmy's.... well... Jimmy. Do you think he'll do?" she asked.

"I'll do fine." Jimmy winked at Clark. "Besides," he said, "I look good in skirts."

"Elvis wore skirts for charity once" Perry said, as he entered the room with his top lead. "Explosion on Clinton Street!"

"What? Clinton street?" Lois rushed, "No! My fish! My novel!"

"Relax, it's a long street," Clark called out, running behind her.

"You're living at Clark's?" Ralph's suspicious voice followed as they rushed out of the newsroom.

"Lois, honey! Wait!" Clark exclaimed, racing after his little tornado. Their friends were left wondering who's gonna be the lucky third wheel.

Jimmy fervently wished that he hadn't mentioned skirts, however comfortable they may be.



Lois ran all the way

between the elevator and Jeep

NOTE:

it all depends on whether or not Little-Tornado is hyphenated (for this challenge I would hyphenate it to make 5 words,

just as you can make CANNOT into Can Not, Cannot, and Can't===all meaning exactly the same thing = and Can Not v.'s Cannot only depending on the writer's preference, with the use of can't depending on formal or informal circumstances)

because Perry was eyeing him

OT: (re Jimmy and the skirts - perhaps it's because Jimmy's only half Scandinavian? and wears a kilt when he plays the bagpipes at his mom's family reunions?)

Lois ran all the way between the elevator and Jeep because Perry was eyeing *him*?

Clark caught up with her

OK Coolgirl, I'll try and solve this riddle:

Jimmy fervently wished that he hadn't mentioned skirts, because Perry was eyeing him , however comfortable they may be

Lois ran all the way between the elevator and Jeep. Clark caught up with her......


and to turn this into better English

Jimmy fervently wished that he hadn't mentioned skirts, because Perry was eyeing him strangely, and humming----*INSERT SONG ABOUT A DRAG QUEEN HERE****---------- , however comfortable they may be

In summation:
the story so far....

[i]"Lois, can we talk?" Clark asked, nervously fiddling with his remote. "I need you to try not to get mad. I want to tell you that Perry has decided to partner us for the story on the polygamous religious cult."

"Polygamous religious cult?" Lois exclaimed."What kind of person would... Look, we're engaged for Elvis' sake!

"But we'd need another spouse"

"Ralph, I'd quit while ahead!!!" Jimmy snapped at Ralph who grunted and turned away hastily.

"How about Cat?" suggested Clark.

"No," Lois snapped. "No way."

Jimmy and Ralph looked at each other competitively. "what about me!" they both shouted simultaneously.

Lois gave Ralph a disgusting snort, dragging Jimmy over to Clark.

"Jimmy's.... well... Jimmy. Do you think he'll do?" she asked.

"I'll do fine." Jimmy winked at Clark. "Besides," he said, "I look good in skirts."

"Elvis wore skirts for charity once" Perry said, as he entered the room with his top lead. "Explosion on Clinton Street!"

"What? Clinton street?" Lois rushed, "No! My fish! My novel!"

"Relax, it's a long street," Clark called out, running behind her.

"You're living at Clark's?" Ralph's suspicious voice followed as they rushed out of the newsroom.

"Lois, honey! Wait!" Clark exclaimed, racing after his little tornado. Their friends were left wondering who's gonna be the lucky third wheel.

Jimmy fervently wished that he hadn't mentioned skirts, however comfortable they may be, because Perry was eyeing him strangely, and humming----*INSERT SONG ABOUT A DRAG QUEEN HERE****----------


Lois ran all the way between the elevator and the jeep. Clark caught up with her....[/i[

NOTE:
Does anyone know any songs about drag queens or cross dressers...

something from Priscilla Queen of the Desert would be great, but (although ashamed as an Aussie to admit this) I have never seen the film, and don't know any of the songs so....


suggestions are welcome,
that post was an attempt to fix the mixup that occurred (see cool-girl's post)

My knowledge of drag queen songs is limited but how about sweet tranvestite from the rocky horror picture.

and scooped her up in

his arms and opened the

[sorry about losing the continuity with this with my obviously too early morning post]

c.

OT:


*hugs*


alcyone

door to the supply closet.

No worries these things always get a little confusing, that's half the fun.

LOL I just watched the whole movie for the first time last weekend.

"Clark, now is not the

--" She gasped when she saw

his face sway towards hers.

Lol, sorry about the little tornado commotion, guys. I just thought it fit and yes, our "real life" L.T. you now have your place IN a story.

Back to this...

Now is especially the time!

Clark interjected, placing a kiss

on her lips. "If you...


yup, sweet transvestite would do nicely, but considering that I have never seen that one either, I wanted you guys to name the song, so at least you knew what I was talking about,,,,

want Jimmy in this, we

have room. I'll move cartons

out of this supply closet."

" Shut-up and Kiss me, Lunk-head!"



see, I made 7 words into 5 because I pretended two were hyphenated (although, I am not sure if they are, but they look good that way, lol)

"Lois? CK?" They heard Jimmy




The famous Jimmy (or is it Jimmius?) Interruptus again

gasp outside the closet door

"I'm in this too, remember?"

The story so far....

"Lois, can we talk?" Clark asked, nervously fiddling with his remote. "I need you to try not to get mad. I want to tell you that Perry has decided to partner us for the story on the polygamous religious cult."

"Polygamous religious cult?" Lois exclaimed."What kind of person would... Look, we're engaged for Elvis' sake!

"But we'd need another spouse"

"Ralph, I'd quit while ahead!!!" Jimmy snapped at Ralph who grunted and turned away hastily.

"How about Cat?" suggested Clark.

"No," Lois snapped. "No way."

Jimmy and Ralph looked at each other competitively. "what about me!" they both shouted simultaneously.

Lois gave Ralph a disgusting snort, dragging Jimmy over to Clark.

"Jimmy's.... well... Jimmy. Do you think he'll do?" she asked.

"I'll do fine." Jimmy winked at Clark. "Besides," he said, "I look good in skirts."

"Elvis wore skirts for charity once" Perry said, as he entered the room with his top lead. "Explosion on Clinton Street!"

"What? Clinton street?" Lois rushed, "No! My fish! My novel!"

"Relax, it's a long street," Clark called out, running behind her.

"You're living at Clark's?" Ralph's suspicious voice followed as they rushed out of the newsroom.

"Lois, honey! Wait!" Clark exclaimed, racing after his little tornado. Their friends were left wondering who's gonna be the lucky third wheel.

Jimmy fervently wished that he hadn't mentioned skirts, however comfortable they may be, because Perry was eyeing him strangely, and humming.

Lois ran all the way between the elevator and the jeep. Clark caught up with her and scooped her up in his arms and opened the door to the supply closet.

"Clark, now is not the--" She gasped when she saw his face sway towards hers.

"Now is especially the time!" Clark interjected, placing a kiss on her lips. "If you want Jimmy in this, we have room. I'll move cartons out of this supply closet."

" Shut-up and Kiss me, Lunk-head!"

"Lois? CK?" They heard Jimmy gasp outside the closet door. "I'm in this too, remember?"

...

Ok who's responsible for all this then?? What about the explosion?? There is a storage closet between the elevator and the jeep? And Clark wants to have a threesome now??? Polygamous religious cult, yes but actually go through with sex including Jimmy????

Whoa.... the possibilities....

Here is my contribution:

"I'm not kissing Jimmy!" Clark

said wryly between kisses.

"You're ...


Ha ha ha! Funny... how the story's twisted and turned... and no, I don't think Jimmy knows they're kissing in there, yet. He probably thinks they're discussing the story... hmmm...

the one who suggested him!"


lol,
I noticed the supply closet between the elevator/Jeep too....

"Oops, my bad," muttered Perry.

Lois went red like a tomato

as Perry opened the door

"Ummm... Perry! We're just discussing...

Jimmy stopped unbuttoning his shirt.

"Rats. My big opportunity wasted!"

He froze. "Hey...This closet

has a bomb in it!"

"Quick, everybody out!" Clark screamed

pushing everyone out except Lois

, after sitting on the bomb.

'Pop!'

The bomb went out.

The story so far....

"Lois, can we talk?" Clark asked, nervously fiddling with his remote. "I need you to try not to get mad. I want to tell you that Perry has decided to partner us for the story on the polygamous religious cult."

"Polygamous religious cult?" Lois exclaimed."What kind of person would... Look, we're engaged for Elvis' sake!

"But we'd need another spouse"

"Ralph, I'd quit while ahead!!!" Jimmy snapped at Ralph who grunted and turned away hastily.

"How about Cat?" suggested Clark.

"No," Lois snapped. "No way."

Jimmy and Ralph looked at each other competitively. "what about me!" they both shouted simultaneously.

Lois gave Ralph a disgusting snort, dragging Jimmy over to Clark.

"Jimmy's.... well... Jimmy. Do you think he'll do?" she asked.

"I'll do fine." Jimmy winked at Clark. "Besides," he said, "I look good in skirts."

"Elvis wore skirts for charity once" Perry said, as he entered the room with his top lead. "Explosion on Clinton Street!"

"What? Clinton street?" Lois rushed, "No! My fish! My novel!"

"Relax, it's a long street," Clark called out, running behind her.

"You're living at Clark's?" Ralph's suspicious voice followed as they rushed out of the newsroom.

"Lois, honey! Wait!" Clark exclaimed, racing after his little tornado. Their friends were left wondering who's gonna be the lucky third wheel.

Jimmy fervently wished that he hadn't mentioned skirts, however comfortable they may be, because Perry was eyeing him strangely, and humming.

Lois ran all the way between the elevator and the jeep. Clark caught up with her and scooped her up in his arms and opened the door to the supply closet.

"Clark, now is not the--" She gasped when she saw his face sway towards hers.

"Now is especially the time!" Clark interjected, placing a kiss on her lips. "If you want Jimmy in this, we have room. I'll move cartons out of this supply closet."

" Shut-up and Kiss me, Lunk-head!"

"Lois? CK?" They heard Jimmy gasp outside the closet door. "I'm in this too, remember?"

"I'm not kissing Jimmy!" Clark said wryly between kisses. "You're the one who suggested him!"

"Oops, my bad," muttered Perry.

Lois went red like a tomato as Perry opened the door.

"Ummm... Perry! We're just discussing..."

Jimmy stopped unbuttoning his shirt. "Rats. My big opportunity wasted!" He froze. "Hey...This closet has a bomb in it!"

"Quick, everybody out!" Clark screamed pushing everyone out except Lois, after sitting on the bomb.

'Pop!'

The bomb went out.

"Great shades of Elvis!" gasped

(couldn't help myself! )

Perry.

"How's the seat of...."

Ann

your pants?" Lois asked, winking

"It was just a cracker

, wasn't it, son?" Perry asked

"well, i guess the truth

is that Lois' rumaki always


Ann

The story so far....

"Lois, can we talk?" Clark asked, nervously fiddling with his remote. "I need you to try not to get mad. I want to tell you that Perry has decided to partner us for the story on the polygamous religious cult."

"Polygamous religious cult?" Lois exclaimed."What kind of person would... Look, we're engaged for Elvis' sake!

"But we'd need another spouse"

"Ralph, I'd quit while ahead!!!" Jimmy snapped at Ralph who grunted and turned away hastily.

"How about Cat?" suggested Clark.

"No," Lois snapped. "No way."

Jimmy and Ralph looked at each other competitively. "what about me!" they both shouted simultaneously.

Lois gave Ralph a disgusting snort, dragging Jimmy over to Clark.

"Jimmy's.... well... Jimmy. Do you think he'll do?" she asked.

"I'll do fine." Jimmy winked at Clark. "Besides," he said, "I look good in skirts."

"Elvis wore skirts for charity once" Perry said, as he entered the room with his top lead. "Explosion on Clinton Street!"

"What? Clinton street?" Lois rushed, "No! My fish! My novel!"

"Relax, it's a long street," Clark called out, running behind her.

"You're living at Clark's?" Ralph's suspicious voice followed as they rushed out of the newsroom.

"Lois, honey! Wait!" Clark exclaimed, racing after his little tornado. Their friends were left wondering who's gonna be the lucky third wheel.

Jimmy fervently wished that he hadn't mentioned skirts, however comfortable they may be, because Perry was eyeing him strangely, and humming.

Lois ran all the way between the elevator and the jeep. Clark caught up with her and scooped her up in his arms and opened the door to the supply closet.

"Clark, now is not the--" She gasped when she saw his face sway towards hers.

"Now is especially the time!" Clark interjected, placing a kiss on her lips. "If you want Jimmy in this, we have room. I'll move cartons out of this supply closet."

" Shut-up and Kiss me, Lunk-head!"

"Lois? CK?" They heard Jimmy gasp outside the closet door. "I'm in this too, remember?"

"I'm not kissing Jimmy!" Clark said wryly between kisses. "You're the one who suggested him!"

"Oops, my bad," muttered Perry.

Lois went red like a tomato as Perry opened the door.

"Ummm... Perry! We're just discussing..."

Jimmy stopped unbuttoning his shirt. "Rats. My big opportunity wasted!" He froze. "Hey...This closet has a bomb in it!"

"Quick, everybody out!" Clark screamed pushing everyone out except Lois, after sitting on the bomb.

'Pop!' The bomb went out.

"Great shades of Elvis!" gasped Perry.

"How's the seat of your pants?" Lois asked, winking.

"It was just a cracker, wasn't it, son?" Perry asked.

"Well, i guess the truth is that Lois' rumaki always ...

gives me... umm... stomach upset

."

"So who could be behind

this?" Perry was not fooled.

Lois and Clark pointed at

the bomb fragments. "Call Henderson!"

(so pleased I got to pull in Bill Henderson )

At Perry and Jimmy's astonished

expressions, Henderson suddenly burst in

Ann

"Are you *Superman* or telepathic?"

"Neither. Someone phoned in a tip

that you are behind this!"

"Me?" Lois asked, outraged, "How

did they find out I

'd stored crackers in this closet?"

The story so far....

"Lois, can we talk?" Clark asked, nervously fiddling with his remote. "I need you to try not to get mad. I want to tell you that Perry has decided to partner us for the story on the polygamous religious cult."

"Polygamous religious cult?" Lois exclaimed."What kind of person would... Look, we're engaged for Elvis' sake!

"But we'd need another spouse"

"Ralph, I'd quit while ahead!!!" Jimmy snapped at Ralph who grunted and turned away hastily.

"How about Cat?" suggested Clark.

"No," Lois snapped. "No way."

Jimmy and Ralph looked at each other competitively. "what about me!" they both shouted simultaneously.

Lois gave Ralph a disgusting snort, dragging Jimmy over to Clark.

"Jimmy's.... well... Jimmy. Do you think he'll do?" she asked.

"I'll do fine." Jimmy winked at Clark. "Besides," he said, "I look good in skirts."

"Elvis wore skirts for charity once" Perry said, as he entered the room with his top lead. "Explosion on Clinton Street!"

"What? Clinton street?" Lois rushed, "No! My fish! My novel!"

"Relax, it's a long street," Clark called out, running behind her.

"You're living at Clark's?" Ralph's suspicious voice followed as they rushed out of the newsroom.

"Lois, honey! Wait!" Clark exclaimed, racing after his little tornado. Their friends were left wondering who's gonna be the lucky third wheel.

Jimmy fervently wished that he hadn't mentioned skirts, however comfortable they may be, because Perry was eyeing him strangely, and humming.

Lois ran all the way between the elevator and the jeep. Clark caught up with her and scooped her up in his arms and opened the door to the supply closet.

"Clark, now is not the--" She gasped when she saw his face sway towards hers.

"Now is especially the time!" Clark interjected, placing a kiss on her lips. "If you want Jimmy in this, we have room. I'll move cartons out of this supply closet."

" Shut-up and Kiss me, Lunk-head!"

"Lois? CK?" They heard Jimmy gasp outside the closet door. "I'm in this too, remember?"

"I'm not kissing Jimmy!" Clark said wryly between kisses. "You're the one who suggested him!"

"Oops, my bad," muttered Perry.

Lois went red like a tomato as Perry opened the door.

"Ummm... Perry! We're just discussing..."

Jimmy stopped unbuttoning his shirt. "Rats. My big opportunity wasted!" He froze. "Hey...This closet has a bomb in it!"

"Quick, everybody out!" Clark screamed pushing everyone out except Lois, after sitting on the bomb.

'Pop!' The bomb went out.

"Great shades of Elvis!" gasped Perry.

"How's the seat of your pants?" Lois asked, winking.

"It was just a cracker, wasn't it, son?" Perry asked.

"Well, i guess the truth is that Lois' rumaki always gives me... umm... stomach upset."

"So who could be behind this?" Perry was not fooled.

Lois and Clark pointed at the bomb fragments. "Call Henderson!"

At Perry and Jimmy's astonished expressions, Henderson suddenly burst in.

"Are you *Superman* or telepathic?"

"Neither. Someone phoned-in a tip that you are behind this!"

"Me?" Lois asked, outraged, "How did they find out I'd stored crackers in this closet?"

...

"Your apartment told us. Firemen

rescuing your fish discovered that

there were traces of radioactive

materials in your kitchen."

Clark

smirked, "Have you ever tried

Lois' cooking?"

Jimmy stifled a

laugh. "Lois' cooking gives CK

collywobbles!" Lois ignored him. "Henderson,

are my fish safe? Plants?"

Yes, but aren't you interested

in knowing what we found

earlier?"

"Enlighten me," snapped Lois.

"We found this!" Henderson showed

Lois a dead cockroach glowing

a sickly shade of green.

Clark immediately started coughing and

doubled over.

"It's my asthma,"

he tried to cover.

Lois

helped Clark into a chair.

"Cockroach," Clark whispered to Lois.

"'Cockroach'!? What happened to 'Tornado'?"

"Not you, nitwit! Henderson is

holding a kryptonite-infested roach he

discovered in your kitchen!"

"Crap,"

thought Lois. "My secret stash

to use in an emergency

Ann

."

Henderson looked at her quizzically,

debating whether to speak when

The story so far....

"Lois, can we talk?" Clark asked, nervously fiddling with his remote. "I need you to try not to get mad. I want to tell you that Perry has decided to partner us for the story on the polygamous religious cult."

"Polygamous religious cult?" Lois exclaimed."What kind of person would... Look, we're engaged for Elvis' sake!

"But we'd need another spouse"

"Ralph, I'd quit while ahead!!!" Jimmy snapped at Ralph who grunted and turned away hastily.

"How about Cat?" suggested Clark.

"No," Lois snapped. "No way."

Jimmy and Ralph looked at each other competitively. "what about me!" they both shouted simultaneously.

Lois gave Ralph a disgusting snort, dragging Jimmy over to Clark.

"Jimmy's.... well... Jimmy. Do you think he'll do?" she asked.

"I'll do fine." Jimmy winked at Clark. "Besides," he said, "I look good in skirts."

"Elvis wore skirts for charity once" Perry said, as he entered the room with his top lead. "Explosion on Clinton Street!"

"What? Clinton street?" Lois rushed, "No! My fish! My novel!"

"Relax, it's a long street," Clark called out, running behind her.

"You're living at Clark's?" Ralph's suspicious voice followed as they rushed out of the newsroom.

"Lois, honey! Wait!" Clark exclaimed, racing after his little tornado. Their friends were left wondering who's gonna be the lucky third wheel.

Jimmy fervently wished that he hadn't mentioned skirts, however comfortable they may be, because Perry was eyeing him strangely, and humming.

Lois ran all the way between the elevator and the jeep. Clark caught up with her and scooped her up in his arms and opened the door to the supply closet.

"Clark, now is not the--" She gasped when she saw his face sway towards hers.

"Now is especially the time!" Clark interjected, placing a kiss on her lips. "If you want Jimmy in this, we have room. I'll move cartons out of this supply closet."

" Shut-up and Kiss me, Lunk-head!"

"Lois? CK?" They heard Jimmy gasp outside the closet door. "I'm in this too, remember?"

"I'm not kissing Jimmy!" Clark said wryly between kisses. "You're the one who suggested him!"

"Oops, my bad," muttered Perry.

Lois went red like a tomato as Perry opened the door.

"Ummm... Perry! We're just discussing..."

Jimmy stopped unbuttoning his shirt. "Rats. My big opportunity wasted!" He froze. "Hey...This closet has a bomb in it!"

"Quick, everybody out!" Clark screamed pushing everyone out except Lois, after sitting on the bomb.

'Pop!' The bomb went out.

"Great shades of Elvis!" gasped Perry.

"How's the seat of your pants?" Lois asked, winking.

"It was just a cracker, wasn't it, son?" Perry asked.

"Well, i guess the truth is that Lois' rumaki always gives me... umm... stomach upset."

"So who could be behind this?" Perry was not fooled.

Lois and Clark pointed at the bomb fragments. "Call Henderson!"

At Perry and Jimmy's astonished expressions, Henderson suddenly burst in.

"Are you *Superman* or telepathic?"

"Neither. Someone phoned-in a tip that you are behind this!"

"Me?" Lois asked, outraged, "How did they find out I'd stored crackers in this closet?"

"Your apartment told us. Firemen rescuing your fish discovered that there were traces of radioactive materials in your kitchen."

Clark smirked, "Have you ever tried Lois' cooking?"

Jimmy stifled a laugh. "Lois' cooking gives CK collywobbles!"

Lois ignored him. "Henderson, are my fish safe? Plants?"

"Yes, but aren't you interested in knowing what we found earlier?"

"Enlighten me," snapped Lois.

"We found this!" Henderson showed Lois a dead cockroach glowing a sickly shade of green.

Clark immediately started coughing and doubled over. "It's my asthma," he tried to cover. Lois helped Clark into a chair. "Cockroach," Clark whispered to Lois.

"'Cockroach'!? What happened to 'Tornado'?"

"Not you, nitwit! Henderson is holding a kryptonite-infested roach he discovered in your kitchen!"

"Crap," thought Lois. "My secret stash to use in an emergency."

Henderson looked at her quizzically, debating whether to speak when the green cockroach turned red.
:p

"Good thing my apartment exploded!"

"What?!" Four astonished faces turned

Quote

Not you, nitwit!

Clark's calling Lois a nitwit?!?!?! And she's letting him live????
I think that's definitely a *first*!

Is it just me or is anybody else thinking of Lois putting the cockroach into Clark's pocket?

toward the cockroach, who had

Ann

(Heh! I'm all for Lois putting the cockroach in Clark's pocket! )

suddenly spread its green wings

. "It's alive again?! Neat trick!"

Suddenly, Lois grabbed the critter

and thrust it into Clark's

[i'm still following this and getting a kick out of the coakroach - am cheering for the cockroach ]

c.

pants pocket.

"What the hell

"Lois! I had no idea

Yoohoo! My idea of *roach in Clark's pocket* is here!

that you were so against

me!" Clark wailed clutching his

groin. (thought I'd keep it cleanish)

"What about children? Utopia??"

"Tempus made it sound boring,

so I though I'd just

..."

"What?? Nuke my little swimmers?!"

detour from *n* territory

"Lois! Clark! Stop this!" Perry

commanded, pulling off Clark's trousers.

"What's with the spandex, CK?"

asked Jimmy, eyeing Clark's legs.

"They're just my new longjohns

Ann

The story so far...

"Lois, can we talk?" Clark asked, nervously fiddling with his remote. "I need you to try not to get mad. I want to tell you that Perry has decided to partner us for the story on the polygamous religious cult."

"Polygamous religious cult?" Lois exclaimed."What kind of person would... Look, we're engaged for Elvis' sake!

"But we'd need another spouse"

"Ralph, I'd quit while ahead!!!" Jimmy snapped at Ralph who grunted and turned away hastily.

"How about Cat?" suggested Clark.

"No," Lois snapped. "No way."

Jimmy and Ralph looked at each other competitively. "what about me!" they both shouted simultaneously.

Lois gave Ralph a disgusting snort, dragging Jimmy over to Clark.

"Jimmy's.... well... Jimmy. Do you think he'll do?" she asked.

"I'll do fine." Jimmy winked at Clark. "Besides," he said, "I look good in skirts."

"Elvis wore skirts for charity once" Perry said, as he entered the room with his top lead. "Explosion on Clinton Street!"

"What? Clinton street?" Lois rushed, "No! My fish! My novel!"

"Relax, it's a long street," Clark called out, running behind her.

"You're living at Clark's?" Ralph's suspicious voice followed as they rushed out of the newsroom.

"Lois, honey! Wait!" Clark exclaimed, racing after his little tornado. Their friends were left wondering who's gonna be the lucky third wheel.

Jimmy fervently wished that he hadn't mentioned skirts, however comfortable they may be, because Perry was eyeing him strangely, and humming.

Lois ran all the way between the elevator and the jeep. Clark caught up with her and scooped her up in his arms and opened the door to the supply closet.

"Clark, now is not the--" She gasped when she saw his face sway towards hers.

"Now is especially the time!" Clark interjected, placing a kiss on her lips. "If you want Jimmy in this, we have room. I'll move cartons out of this supply closet."

" Shut-up and Kiss me, Lunk-head!"

"Lois? CK?" They heard Jimmy gasp outside the closet door. "I'm in this too, remember?"

"I'm not kissing Jimmy!" Clark said wryly between kisses. "You're the one who suggested him!"

"Oops, my bad," muttered Perry.

Lois went red like a tomato as Perry opened the door.

"Ummm... Perry! We're just discussing..."

Jimmy stopped unbuttoning his shirt. "Rats. My big opportunity wasted!" He froze. "Hey...This closet has a bomb in it!"

"Quick, everybody out!" Clark screamed pushing everyone out except Lois, after sitting on the bomb.

'Pop!' The bomb went out.

"Great shades of Elvis!" gasped Perry.

"How's the seat of your pants?" Lois asked, winking.

"It was just a cracker, wasn't it, son?" Perry asked.

"Well, i guess the truth is that Lois' rumaki always gives me... umm... stomach upset."

"So who could be behind this?" Perry was not fooled.

Lois and Clark pointed at the bomb fragments. "Call Henderson!"

At Perry and Jimmy's astonished expressions, Henderson suddenly burst in.

"Are you *Superman* or telepathic?"

"Neither. Someone phoned-in a tip that you are behind this!"

"Me?" Lois asked, outraged, "How did they find out I'd stored crackers in this closet?"

"Your apartment told us. Firemen rescuing your fish discovered that there were traces of radioactive materials in your kitchen."

Clark smirked, "Have you ever tried Lois' cooking?"

Jimmy stifled a laugh. "Lois' cooking gives CK collywobbles!"

Lois ignored him. "Henderson, are my fish safe? Plants?"

"Yes, but aren't you interested in knowing what we found earlier?"

"Enlighten me," snapped Lois.

"We found this!" Henderson showed Lois a dead cockroach glowing a sickly shade of green.

Clark immediately started coughing and doubled over. "It's my asthma," he tried to cover. Lois helped Clark into a chair. "Cockroach," Clark whispered to Lois.

"'Cockroach'!? What happened to 'Tornado'?"

"Not you, nitwit! Henderson is holding a kryptonite-infested roach he discovered in your kitchen!"

"Crap," thought Lois. "My secret stash to use in an emergency."

Henderson looked at her quizzically, debating whether to speak when the green cockroach turned red.

"Good thing my apartment exploded!"

"What?!" Four astonished faces turned toward the cockroach, who had suddenly spread its green wings.

"It's alive again?! Neat trick!"

Suddenly, Lois grabbed the critter and thrust it into Clark's pants pocket.

"What the hell Lois! I had no idea that you were so against me!" Clark wailed clutching his groin.

"What about children? Utopia??"

"Tempus made it sound boring, so I thought I'd just..."

"What?? Nuke my little swimmers?!"

"Lois! Clark! Stop this!" Perry commanded, pulling off Clark's trousers.

"What's with the spandex, CK?" asked Jimmy, eyeing Clark's legs.

"They're just my new longjohns."

"Your legs look like Superman's

This one's really getting weirder and weirder...

."

"Well, I've borrowed these from

Ann

Superman to see if it

is true that clothes make

the man."

Lois rolled her

eyes and snorted, "Nitwit!"

Clark

wondered at everyone's galactic stupidity.

Surely they weren't buying this

garbage he was peddling?

"I

wanna get outta here," he

groaned, reaching for his trousers.

Forgetting Krypto-Cockroach in the pocket,

he suddenly turned rainbow-colored and

Ann

gasped, "No! My tie clashes

gasped, "No! My tie clashes
with this opening transdimensional portal

the cockroach has opened in

the wall behind us! Help!"

Ann

"No getting out of this!"

literally!

Perry asked: "What do you



(Couldn't resist the image - watch the transdimensional doorway opening! )

Ann

think is happening? Elvis never

No wonder you love picture stories, Ann!

did this with Priscilla! Hey!!!

Ann

(Just so you know, I found an irresistible cockroach image too - I mean, if we can find a way to bring the cockroach back into the story! )

"

Perry exclaimed as the cockroach

For Ann, who's impatiently waiting to post a cockroach picture!!!

hurtled towards the offending neckwear

(yes, I'm back to the tie! Fling it into the vortex, Roachy! )



CK's favourite tie

. The cockroach was a scary



Ann

and Lois screamed as it

Are we writing a picture story? Yippie!

passed in a psychedelic blur.

Who comes up with this stuff? Oh yeah, we do.

It started chewing Clark's tie

Ann

(Hey, I loved that tie, Gr8shades!!)

So did Clark apparently. OK Ann, how about this one. He only wore it twice and it's certainly ugly enough to be devoured by a multi-coloured superbug!



, then began choking on it

Have nothing to add at the moment, just wanted to suggest something... maybe the roach (what with the dimension portal) is a daemon of some person... (ah, I recently watched the Golden Compass .. just an idea... )

. The brown chocolaty part of


the tie! The tie looks as if it has been splashed with chocolate here and there!

And I like that Golden Compass Daemon idea!

the tie was devoured by

Ann

the creature.

"Noooo! Not coffee!!"

it cried. "I wanted chocolate!"

"There you are!" exclaimed a

familiar figure, exiting the portal.

It was Superman!

Clark's eyes

Two Supermen! Heh heh!

The story so far...


"Lois, can we talk?" Clark asked, nervously fiddling with his remote. "I need you to try not to get mad. I want to tell you that Perry has decided to partner us for the story on the polygamous religious cult."

"Polygamous religious cult?" Lois exclaimed."What kind of person would... Look, we're engaged for Elvis' sake!

"But we'd need another spouse"

"Ralph, I'd quit while ahead!!!" Jimmy snapped at Ralph who grunted and turned away hastily.

"How about Cat?" suggested Clark.

"No," Lois snapped. "No way."

Jimmy and Ralph looked at each other competitively. "what about me!" they both shouted simultaneously.

Lois gave Ralph a disgusting snort, dragging Jimmy over to Clark.

"Jimmy's.... well... Jimmy. Do you think he'll do?" she asked.

"I'll do fine." Jimmy winked at Clark. "Besides," he said, "I look good in skirts."

"Elvis wore skirts for charity once" Perry said, as he entered the room with his top lead. "Explosion on Clinton Street!"

"What? Clinton street?" Lois rushed, "No! My fish! My novel!"

"Relax, it's a long street," Clark called out, running behind her.

"You're living at Clark's?" Ralph's suspicious voice followed as they rushed out of the newsroom.

"Lois, honey! Wait!" Clark exclaimed, racing after his little tornado. Their friends were left wondering who's gonna be the lucky third wheel.

Jimmy fervently wished that he hadn't mentioned skirts, however comfortable they may be, because Perry was eyeing him strangely, and humming.

Lois ran all the way between the elevator and the jeep. Clark caught up with her and scooped her up in his arms and opened the door to the supply closet.

"Clark, now is not the--" She gasped when she saw his face sway towards hers.

"Now is especially the time!" Clark interjected, placing a kiss on her lips. "If you want Jimmy in this, we have room. I'll move cartons out of this supply closet."

" Shut-up and Kiss me, Lunk-head!"

"Lois? CK?" They heard Jimmy gasp outside the closet door. "I'm in this too, remember?"

"I'm not kissing Jimmy!" Clark said wryly between kisses. "You're the one who suggested him!"

"Oops, my bad," muttered Perry.

Lois went red like a tomato as Perry opened the door.

"Ummm... Perry! We're just discussing..."

Jimmy stopped unbuttoning his shirt. "Rats. My big opportunity wasted!" He froze. "Hey...This closet has a bomb in it!"

"Quick, everybody out!" Clark screamed pushing everyone out except Lois, after sitting on the bomb.

'Pop!' The bomb went out.

"Great shades of Elvis!" gasped Perry.

"How's the seat of your pants?" Lois asked, winking.

"It was just a cracker, wasn't it, son?" Perry asked.

"Well, i guess the truth is that Lois' rumaki always gives me... umm... stomach upset."

"So who could be behind this?" Perry was not fooled.

Lois and Clark pointed at the bomb fragments. "Call Henderson!"

At Perry and Jimmy's astonished expressions, Henderson suddenly burst in.

"Are you *Superman* or telepathic?"

"Neither. Someone phoned-in a tip that you are behind this!"

"Me?" Lois asked, outraged, "How did they find out I'd stored crackers in this closet?"

"Your apartment told us. Firemen rescuing your fish discovered that there were traces of radioactive materials in your kitchen."

Clark smirked, "Have you ever tried Lois' cooking?"

Jimmy stifled a laugh. "Lois' cooking gives CK collywobbles!"

Lois ignored him. "Henderson, are my fish safe? Plants?"

"Yes, but aren't you interested in knowing what we found earlier?"

"Enlighten me," snapped Lois.

"We found this!" Henderson showed Lois a dead cockroach glowing a sickly shade of green.

Clark immediately started coughing and doubled over. "It's my asthma," he tried to cover. Lois helped Clark into a chair. "Cockroach," Clark whispered to Lois.

"'Cockroach'!? What happened to 'Tornado'?"

"Not you, nitwit! Henderson is holding a kryptonite-infested roach he discovered in your kitchen!"

"Crap," thought Lois. "My secret stash to use in an emergency."

Henderson looked at her quizzically, debating whether to speak when the green cockroach turned red.

"Good thing my apartment exploded!"

"What?!" Four astonished faces turned toward the cockroach, who had suddenly spread its green wings.

"It's alive again?! Neat trick!"

Suddenly, Lois grabbed the critter and thrust it into Clark's pants pocket.

"What the hell Lois! I had no idea that you were so against me!" Clark wailed clutching his groin.

"What about children? Utopia??"

"Tempus made it sound boring, so I thought I'd just..."

"What?? Nuke my little swimmers?!"

"Lois! Clark! Stop this!" Perry commanded, pulling off Clark's trousers.

"What's with the spandex, CK?" asked Jimmy, eyeing Clark's legs.

"They're just my new longjohns."

"Your legs look like Superman's."

"Well, I've borrowed these from Superman to see if it is true that clothes make the man."

Lois rolled her eyes and snorted, "Nitwit!"

Clark wondered at everyone's galactic stupidity. Surely they weren't buying this garbage he was peddling?

"I wanna get outta here," he groaned, reaching for his trousers. Forgetting Krypto-Cockroach in the pocket, he suddenly turned rainbow-colored and gasped, "No! My tie clashes with this opening transdimensional portal the cockroach has opened in the wall behind us! Help!"

"No getting out of this!" Perry asked, "What do you think is happening? Elvis never did this with Priscilla!"

"Hey!!!" Perry exclaimed as the cockroach hurtled towards the offending neckwear. The cockroach was a scary and Lois screamed as it passed in a psychedelic blur. It started chewing Clark's tie, then began choking on it. The brown chocolaty part of the tie was devoured by the creature.

"Noooo! Not coffee!!" it cried. "I wanted chocolate!"

"There you are!" exclaimed a familiar figure, exiting the portal.

It was Superman!

Clark's eyes...


Is it just me or is anybody else wondering where the story's going?

bulged.

"Gotcha!" laughed the newcomer

, as the bug super-sped towards

him.

"What the Sam Hill

is happening here? Superman, why

are you wearing rainbow stockings

? Why Clark's wearing your spandex?

"I am Rainbow Cockroach Man!"

Ann

, he said, "Not Superman."

Clark

gasped.

"Are you from Cockroach-Utopia?"

Ann

"No! I'm Superman's descendant," he

said. "I'm Clark Tempus Roach!"

Ann

"Don't forget me!" whined the

cockroach, nuzzling up against Rainbow

Man's cheek.

"Descendant?" stammered Clark.

"You mean I'm... Papa Roach?"

My sincerest apologies everyone. I just couldn't help myself!

[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/da/PapaRoach_Infest.jpg/200px-[/img]

"He said Superman's descendant, Clark,

not yours," Jimmy pointed out.

"Er, right, of course," mumbled

Clark, now recalling some mushrooms

(Had to explain it somehow! )

laden with Red K that

Ann

laden with Red K that
Mayson put on his burger

. "Mr. *Clark*Roach? Sounds like CockRoach!"

"My parents were cruel," shrugged

Clark, gritting his teeth at

Ann



Clark's mushrooms!

Or... maybe these were his musrooms?

his namesake sitting before him.

Are we writing an extra-terrestrial story with aliens and stuff? The mushrooms do remind me of some silly android-planet

"Why's your middle name... 'Tempus'?"

"Because Tempus is my father."

Ann (couldn't resist!!! But remember, he might be mistaken. What do any of us know about who's really our father? Okay, maybe these two know that they are father and son... )

"Is Tempus... Superman's descendant too?"

"If I answered that then

disruption of the Space-Time Continuum

would spread throughout all of

my groin affecting all subsequent

descendants of mine, and Utopia

Ann

would have fewer tv channels.

My grandmother was a Murdoch....


this story is getting stranger and stranger.... at least the Murdoch bit is semi-plausible

her father was named Rupert.

His ex-wife's half-brother's second cousin

is known as Fox! But



Ann

The story so far...


"Lois, can we talk?" Clark asked, nervously fiddling with his remote. "I need you to try not to get mad. I want to tell you that Perry has decided to partner us for the story on the polygamous religious cult."

"Polygamous religious cult?" Lois exclaimed."What kind of person would... "

"Look, we're engaged for Elvis' sake!"

"But we'd need another spouse"

"Ralph, I'd quit while ahead!!!" Jimmy snapped at Ralph who grunted and turned away hastily.

"How about Cat?" suggested Clark.

"No," Lois snapped. "No way."

Jimmy and Ralph looked at each other competitively. "what about me!" they both shouted simultaneously.

Lois gave Ralph a disgusting snort, dragging Jimmy over to Clark.

"Jimmy's.... well... Jimmy. Do you think he'll do?" she asked.

"I'll do fine." Jimmy winked at Clark. "Besides," he said, "I look good in skirts."

"Elvis wore skirts for charity once" Perry said, as he entered the room with his top lead. "Explosion on Clinton Street!"

"What? Clinton street?" Lois rushed, "No! My fish! My novel!"

"Relax, it's a long street," Clark called out, running behind her.

"You're living at Clark's?" Ralph's suspicious voice followed as they rushed out of the newsroom.

"Lois, honey! Wait!" Clark exclaimed, racing after his little tornado. Their friends were left wondering who's gonna be the lucky third wheel.

Jimmy fervently wished that he hadn't mentioned skirts, however comfortable they may be, because Perry was eyeing him strangely, and humming.

Lois ran all the way between the elevator and the jeep. Clark caught up with her and scooped her up in his arms and opened the door to the supply closet.

"Clark, now is not the--" She gasped when she saw his face sway towards hers.

"Now is especially the time!" Clark interjected, placing a kiss on her lips. "If you want Jimmy in this, we have room. I'll move cartons out of this supply closet."

"Shut-up and Kiss me, Lunk-head!"

"Lois? CK?" They heard Jimmy gasp outside the closet door. "I'm in this too, remember?"

"I'm not kissing Jimmy!" Clark said wryly between kisses. "You're the one who suggested him!"

"Oops, my bad," muttered Perry.

Lois went red like a tomato as Perry opened the door.

"Ummm... Perry! We're just discussing..."

Jimmy stopped unbuttoning his shirt. "Rats. My big opportunity wasted!" He froze. "Hey...This closet has a bomb in it!"

"Quick, everybody out!" Clark screamed pushing everyone out except Lois, after sitting on the bomb.

'Pop!' The bomb went out.

"Great shades of Elvis!" gasped Perry.

"How's the seat of your pants?" Lois asked, winking.

"It was just a cracker, wasn't it, son?" Perry asked.

"Well, i guess the truth is that Lois' rumaki always gives me... umm... stomach upset."

"So who could be behind this?" Perry was not fooled.

Lois and Clark pointed at the bomb fragments. "Call Henderson!"

At Perry and Jimmy's astonished expressions, Henderson suddenly burst in.

"Are you *Superman* or telepathic?"

"Neither. Someone phoned-in a tip that you are behind this!"

"Me?" Lois asked, outraged, "How did they find out I'd stored crackers in this closet?"

"Your apartment told us. Firemen rescuing your fish discovered that there were traces of radioactive materials in your kitchen."

Clark smirked, "Have you ever tried Lois' cooking?"

Jimmy stifled a laugh. "Lois' cooking gives CK collywobbles!"

Lois ignored him. "Henderson, are my fish safe? Plants?"

"Yes, but aren't you interested in knowing what we found earlier?"

"Enlighten me," snapped Lois.

"We found this!" Henderson showed Lois a dead cockroach glowing a sickly shade of green.

Clark immediately started coughing and doubled over. "It's my asthma," he tried to cover. Lois helped Clark into a chair. "Cockroach," Clark whispered to Lois.

"'Cockroach'!? What happened to 'Tornado'?"

"Not you, nitwit! Henderson is holding a kryptonite-infested roach he discovered in your kitchen!"

"Crap," thought Lois. "My secret stash to use in an emergency."

Henderson looked at her quizzically, debating whether to speak when the green cockroach turned red.

"Good thing my apartment exploded!"

"What?!" Four astonished faces turned toward the cockroach, who had suddenly spread its green wings.

"It's alive again?! Neat trick!"

Suddenly, Lois grabbed the critter and thrust it into Clark's pants pocket.

"What the hell Lois! I had no idea that you were so against me!" Clark wailed clutching his groin.

"What about children? Utopia??"

"Tempus made it sound boring, so I thought I'd just..."

"What?? Nuke my little swimmers?!"

"Lois! Clark! Stop this!" Perry commanded, pulling off Clark's trousers.

"What's with the spandex, CK?" asked Jimmy, eyeing Clark's legs.

"They're just my new longjohns."

"Your legs look like Superman's."

"Well, I've borrowed these from Superman to see if it is true that clothes make the man."

Lois rolled her eyes and snorted, "Nitwit!"

Clark wondered at everyone's galactic stupidity. Surely they weren't buying this garbage he was peddling?

"I wanna get outta here," he groaned, reaching for his trousers.

Forgetting Krypto-Cockroach in the pocket, he suddenly turned rainbow-colored and gasped, "No! My tie clashes with this opening transdimensional portal the cockroach has opened in the wall behind us! Help!"

"No getting out of this!" Perry asked, "What do you think is happening? Elvis never did this with Priscilla!"

"Hey!!!" Perry exclaimed as the cockroach hurtled towards the offending neckwear. The cockroach was a scary and Lois screamed as it passed in a psychedelic blur. It started chewing Clark's tie, then began choking on it. The brown chocolaty part of the tie was devoured by the creature.

"Noooo! Not coffee!!" it cried. "I wanted chocolate!"

"There you are!" exclaimed a familiar figure, exiting the portal.

It was Superman!

Clark's eyes bulged.

"Gotcha!" laughed the newcomer, as the bug super-sped towards him.

"What the Sam Hill is happening here? Superman, why are you wearing rainbow stockings? Why Clark's wearing your spandex?"

"I am Rainbow Cockroach Man!" he said, "Not Superman."

Clark gasped. "Are you from Cockroach-Utopia?"

"No! I'm Superman's descendant," he said. "I'm Clark Tempus Roach!"

"Don't forget me!" whined the cockroach, nuzzling up against Rainbow Man's cheek.

"Descendant?" stammered Clark. "You mean I'm... Papa Roach?"

"He said Superman's descendant, Clark, not yours," Jimmy pointed out.

"Er, right, of course," mumbled Clark, now recalling some mushrooms laden with Red K that Mayson put on his burger.

"Mr. *Clark*Roach? Sounds like CockRoach!"

"My parents were cruel," shrugged Clark, gritting his teeth at his namesake sitting before him.

"Why's your middle name... 'Tempus'?"

"Because Tempus is my father."

"Is Tempus... Superman's descendant too?"

"If I answered that then disruption of the Space-Time Continuum would spread throughout all of my groin affecting all subsequent descendants of mine, and Utopia would have fewer tv channels.

"My grandmother was a Murdoch... her father was named Rupert. His ex-wife's half-brother's second cousin is known as Fox! But that's really besides the point.

Someone send them back through the portal, please!

So let's get back to

Ann

the portal and the cockroach

and I'll bid you farewell."

Suddenly a stewardess-like person



Ann

appeared.

"Chicken or beef?" she



Hey Ann, do you write the words and then find the pictures, or the other way round?

said,
spraying kryptonite dust everywhere.

"Not the pink variety!" Rainbow



We're heading back into dangerous territory here...

(the waitress) had a malicious

purpose: making Superman fall in

Ann

(Hey, I love everyone's pictures! Well, I found the stewardess picture first - when I was googling for "magic portal", actually - and then I had to include her.)

Lois' collywobble cooking. He gasped!

(edit--oops! I missed a few words, but I've decided to let it stand since it still makes sense in an even worse way.)

"Not the meatloaf!" and fainted

into the rumaki, where he



(Note the menacing-looking trident.)

Ann

suffered multiple toothpick-induced puncture wounds.

"Yum! Lobster Bisque!" Ralph cried


please next person mention
sea-cockroach-entrails-floating-in-liquid I ran out of words...
This was a dish I once found on a (now expired) web-site regarding poor translations into English... this was on the menu in an unknown Shanghai restaurant, translated as this instead of lobster bisque/soup.... but the site is no longer active so no point me posting the link... photo unrelated to said restaurant and dish

. "I love sea-cockroach-entrails-floating-in-liquid! So crunchy!"

Ann

"Yuck! No wonder she's mad!"

I can't find words! What a wonderfully fantastically beautifully disgusting read!
I'm no longer following this story... sorry, but I hate cockroaches... Whenever I see it !

"Who's mad? I'm confused!" moaned

...gr8shades

Someone please kill the damn roach so coolgirl will come out and play again.

Superman, pulling skewers from his

tushie. i need to solve

..." gasped the dying superman.

"Dead!"


========================
after me, recall that the Superman here is NOT Clark Kent but Clark Tempus Roach. I think, unless I got mixed up, that others in the scene, Jimmy, etc., began calling him Superman instead of "Rainbow Cockroach Man".

exclaimed Perry, checking his pulse.

"Where's - oops, I've stepped on

(insert bug-being-crunched-underfoot sound effect here)

- !"

Squissssh-crrrrunnnch!!!

"Perry, let me!" Lois

Ann

offered.

"Chicken or beef," Rainbow

The story so far...


"Lois, can we talk?" Clark asked, nervously fiddling with his remote. "I need you to try not to get mad. I want to tell you that Perry has decided to partner us for the story on the polygamous religious cult."

"Polygamous religious cult?" Lois exclaimed."What kind of person would... "

"Look, we're engaged for Elvis' sake!"

"But we'd need another spouse"

"Ralph, I'd quit while ahead!!!" Jimmy snapped at Ralph who grunted and turned away hastily.

"How about Cat?" suggested Clark.

"No," Lois snapped. "No way."

Jimmy and Ralph looked at each other competitively. "what about me!" they both shouted simultaneously.

Lois gave Ralph a disgusting snort, dragging Jimmy over to Clark.

"Jimmy's.... well... Jimmy. Do you think he'll do?" she asked.

"I'll do fine." Jimmy winked at Clark. "Besides," he said, "I look good in skirts."

"Elvis wore skirts for charity once" Perry said, as he entered the room with his top lead. "Explosion on Clinton Street!"

"What? Clinton street?" Lois rushed, "No! My fish! My novel!"

"Relax, it's a long street," Clark called out, running behind her.

"You're living at Clark's?" Ralph's suspicious voice followed as they rushed out of the newsroom.

"Lois, honey! Wait!" Clark exclaimed, racing after his little tornado. Their friends were left wondering who's gonna be the lucky third wheel.

Jimmy fervently wished that he hadn't mentioned skirts, however comfortable they may be, because Perry was eyeing him strangely, and humming.

Lois ran all the way between the elevator and the jeep. Clark caught up with her and scooped her up in his arms and opened the door to the supply closet.

"Clark, now is not the--" She gasped when she saw his face sway towards hers.

"Now is especially the time!" Clark interjected, placing a kiss on her lips. "If you want Jimmy in this, we have room. I'll move cartons out of this supply closet."

"Shut-up and Kiss me, Lunk-head!"

"Lois? CK?" They heard Jimmy gasp outside the closet door. "I'm in this too, remember?"

"I'm not kissing Jimmy!" Clark said wryly between kisses. "You're the one who suggested him!"

"Oops, my bad," muttered Perry.

Lois went red like a tomato as Perry opened the door.

"Ummm... Perry! We're just discussing..."

Jimmy stopped unbuttoning his shirt. "Rats. My big opportunity wasted!" He froze. "Hey...This closet has a bomb in it!"

"Quick, everybody out!" Clark screamed pushing everyone out except Lois, after sitting on the bomb.

'Pop!' The bomb went out.

"Great shades of Elvis!" gasped Perry.

"How's the seat of your pants?" Lois asked, winking.

"It was just a cracker, wasn't it, son?" Perry asked.

"Well, i guess the truth is that Lois' rumaki always gives me... umm... stomach upset."

"So who could be behind this?" Perry was not fooled.

Lois and Clark pointed at the bomb fragments. "Call Henderson!"

At Perry and Jimmy's astonished expressions, Henderson suddenly burst in.

"Are you *Superman* or telepathic?"

"Neither. Someone phoned-in a tip that you are behind this!"

"Me?" Lois asked, outraged, "How did they find out I'd stored crackers in this closet?"

"Your apartment told us. Firemen rescuing your fish discovered that there were traces of radioactive materials in your kitchen."

Clark smirked, "Have you ever tried Lois' cooking?"

Jimmy stifled a laugh. "Lois' cooking gives CK collywobbles!"

Lois ignored him. "Henderson, are my fish safe? Plants?"

"Yes, but aren't you interested in knowing what we found earlier?"

"Enlighten me," snapped Lois.

"We found this!" Henderson showed Lois a dead cockroach glowing a sickly shade of green.

Clark immediately started coughing and doubled over. "It's my asthma," he tried to cover. Lois helped Clark into a chair. "Cockroach," Clark whispered to Lois.

"'Cockroach'!? What happened to 'Tornado'?"

"Not you, nitwit! Henderson is holding a kryptonite-infested roach he discovered in your kitchen!"

"Crap," thought Lois. "My secret stash to use in an emergency."

Henderson looked at her quizzically, debating whether to speak when the green cockroach turned red.

"Good thing my apartment exploded!"

"What?!" Four astonished faces turned toward the cockroach, who had suddenly spread its green wings.

"It's alive again?! Neat trick!"

Suddenly, Lois grabbed the critter and thrust it into Clark's pants pocket.

"What the hell Lois! I had no idea that you were so against me!" Clark wailed clutching his groin.

"What about children? Utopia??"

"Tempus made it sound boring, so I thought I'd just..."

"What?? Nuke my little swimmers?!"

"Lois! Clark! Stop this!" Perry commanded, pulling off Clark's trousers.

"What's with the spandex, CK?" asked Jimmy, eyeing Clark's legs.

"They're just my new longjohns."

"Your legs look like Superman's."

"Well, I've borrowed these from Superman to see if it is true that clothes make the man."

Lois rolled her eyes and snorted, "Nitwit!"

Clark wondered at everyone's galactic stupidity. Surely they weren't buying this garbage he was peddling?

"I wanna get outta here," he groaned, reaching for his trousers.

Forgetting Krypto-Cockroach in the pocket, he suddenly turned rainbow-colored and gasped, "No! My tie clashes with this opening transdimensional portal the cockroach has opened in the wall behind us! Help!"

"No getting out of this!" Perry asked, "What do you think is happening? Elvis never did this with Priscilla!"

"Hey!!!" Perry exclaimed as the cockroach hurtled towards the offending neckwear. The cockroach was a scary and Lois screamed as it passed in a psychedelic blur. It started chewing Clark's tie, then began choking on it. The brown chocolaty part of the tie was devoured by the creature.

"Noooo! Not coffee!!" it cried. "I wanted chocolate!"

"There you are!" exclaimed a familiar figure, exiting the portal.

It was Superman!

Clark's eyes bulged.

"Gotcha!" laughed the newcomer, as the bug super-sped towards him.

"What the Sam Hill is happening here? Superman, why are you wearing rainbow stockings? Why Clark's wearing your spandex?"

"I am Rainbow Cockroach Man!" he said, "Not Superman."

Clark gasped. "Are you from Cockroach-Utopia?"

"No! I'm Superman's descendant," he said. "I'm Clark Tempus Roach!"

"Don't forget me!" whined the cockroach, nuzzling up against Rainbow Man's cheek.

"Descendant?" stammered Clark. "You mean I'm... Papa Roach?"

"He said Superman's descendant, Clark, not yours," Jimmy pointed out.

"Er, right, of course," mumbled Clark, now recalling some mushrooms laden with Red K that Mayson put on his burger.

"Mr. *Clark*Roach? Sounds like CockRoach!"

"My parents were cruel," shrugged Clark, gritting his teeth at his namesake sitting before him.

"Why's your middle name... 'Tempus'?"

"Because Tempus is my father."

"Is Tempus... Superman's descendant too?"

"If I answered that then disruption of the Space-Time Continuum would spread throughout all of my groin affecting all subsequent descendants of mine, and Utopia would have fewer tv channels.

"My grandmother was a Murdoch... her father was named Rupert. His ex-wife's half-brother's second cousin is known as Fox! But that's really besides the point.

So let's get back to the portal and the cockroach and I'll bid you farewell."

Suddenly a stewardess-like person appeared.

"Chicken or beef?" she said, spraying kryptonite dust everywhere.

"Not the pink variety!" Rainbow (the waitress) had a malicious purpose: making Superman fall in Lois' collywobble cooking.

He gasped! "Not the meatloaf!" and fainted into the rumaki, where he suffered multiple toothpick-induced puncture wounds.

"Yum! Lobster Bisque!" Ralph cried. "I love sea-cockroach-entrails-floating-in-liquid! So crunchy!"

"Yuck! No wonder she's mad!"

"Who's mad? I'm confused!" moaned Superman, pulling skewers from his tushie.

"I need to solve..." gasped the dying superman.

"Dead!" exclaimed Perry, checking his pulse. "Where's - oops, I've stepped on- !" (Squissssh-crrrrunnnch!!!)

"Perry, let me!" Lois offered.

"Chicken or beef," Rainbow stewardess repeated, "Or tenderised cockroach?"

"We need to escape through the



(I don't mind cockroach holes, by the way)

Ann

- "Hey, there's a White Rabbit!"

To quote Alice, "Curiouser and curiouser!"

interrupted Jimmy, peering into the

...what, Cockroach hole? You tell me!

abyss. "what's tempus doing kissing

my tushie? Follow the rabbit!"



(Eh... I guess the abyss got sort of misplaced... I'm sure you can resurrect it, or send Clark flying after the rabbit, or something! )

Ann

"Clark fly after the rabbit!"

Cockroach's gone and lo! Coolgirl's here!

"Fly??? Who am I, Superman?"

"Haven't you heard 'Gotta fly'?"

Ann

"Which Clark do you mean?"

"The live one!" muttered Ralph.

(Unless I'm very much mistaken, Clarkroach is no longer with us)

Lois grabbed Clark's hand and

they tumbled down the rabbit-hole!

Ann

(I loved the image, Gr8shades! )

Then Clark (still tripping) saw

Alice through the Looking Glass


Hehe... Couldn't resist.

"Save her!" he cried. "She



Ann

seems to be turning into

... Ralph? Am I on something?"

groaned Clark, clutching his head.

"Hope that'll teach you, Clark!"

"I need to quit LSD."

"He thought he could fly,"

Perry snickered. "What's my Alice

doing in the looking-glass? Come

Ann

back to this hunk of

Elvis-loving ol' Hound Dog, Dumplin'!

"

"Perry, get a room, please!"

Ann

Lois grinned. "Clark, why don't

we get married tonight and

get a room ourselves? That

Ann

Cozy Motel'd be honeymoon heaven!"

"With the apartment burned, it

The story so far...


"Lois, can we talk?" Clark asked, nervously fiddling with his remote. "I need you to try not to get mad. I want to tell you that Perry has decided to partner us for the story on the polygamous religious cult."

"Polygamous religious cult?" Lois exclaimed."What kind of person would... "

"Look, we're engaged for Elvis' sake!"

"But we'd need another spouse"

"Ralph, I'd quit while ahead!!!" Jimmy snapped at Ralph who grunted and turned away hastily.

"How about Cat?" suggested Clark.

"No," Lois snapped. "No way."

Jimmy and Ralph looked at each other competitively. "what about me!" they both shouted simultaneously.

Lois gave Ralph a disgusting snort, dragging Jimmy over to Clark.

"Jimmy's.... well... Jimmy. Do you think he'll do?" she asked.

"I'll do fine." Jimmy winked at Clark. "Besides," he said, "I look good in skirts."

"Elvis wore skirts for charity once" Perry said, as he entered the room with his top lead. "Explosion on Clinton Street!"

"What? Clinton street?" Lois rushed, "No! My fish! My novel!"

"Relax, it's a long street," Clark called out, running behind her.

"You're living at Clark's?" Ralph's suspicious voice followed as they rushed out of the newsroom.

"Lois, honey! Wait!" Clark exclaimed, racing after his little tornado. Their friends were left wondering who's gonna be the lucky third wheel.

Jimmy fervently wished that he hadn't mentioned skirts, however comfortable they may be, because Perry was eyeing him strangely, and humming.

Lois ran all the way between the elevator and the jeep. Clark caught up with her and scooped her up in his arms and opened the door to the supply closet.

"Clark, now is not the--" She gasped when she saw his face sway towards hers.

"Now is especially the time!" Clark interjected, placing a kiss on her lips. "If you want Jimmy in this, we have room. I'll move cartons out of this supply closet."

"Shut-up and Kiss me, Lunk-head!"

"Lois? CK?" They heard Jimmy gasp outside the closet door. "I'm in this too, remember?"

"I'm not kissing Jimmy!" Clark said wryly between kisses. "You're the one who suggested him!"

"Oops, my bad," muttered Perry.

Lois went red like a tomato as Perry opened the door.

"Ummm... Perry! We're just discussing..."

Jimmy stopped unbuttoning his shirt. "Rats. My big opportunity wasted!" He froze. "Hey...This closet has a bomb in it!"

"Quick, everybody out!" Clark screamed pushing everyone out except Lois, after sitting on the bomb.

'Pop!' The bomb went out.

"Great shades of Elvis!" gasped Perry.

"How's the seat of your pants?" Lois asked, winking.

"It was just a cracker, wasn't it, son?" Perry asked.

"Well, i guess the truth is that Lois' rumaki always gives me... umm... stomach upset."

"So who could be behind this?" Perry was not fooled.

Lois and Clark pointed at the bomb fragments. "Call Henderson!"

At Perry and Jimmy's astonished expressions, Henderson suddenly burst in.

"Are you *Superman* or telepathic?"

"Neither. Someone phoned-in a tip that you are behind this!"

"Me?" Lois asked, outraged, "How did they find out I'd stored crackers in this closet?"

"Your apartment told us. Firemen rescuing your fish discovered that there were traces of radioactive materials in your kitchen."

Clark smirked, "Have you ever tried Lois' cooking?"

Jimmy stifled a laugh. "Lois' cooking gives CK collywobbles!"

Lois ignored him. "Henderson, are my fish safe? Plants?"

"Yes, but aren't you interested in knowing what we found earlier?"

"Enlighten me," snapped Lois.

"We found this!" Henderson showed Lois a dead cockroach glowing a sickly shade of green.

Clark immediately started coughing and doubled over. "It's my asthma," he tried to cover. Lois helped Clark into a chair. "Cockroach," Clark whispered to Lois.

"'Cockroach'!? What happened to 'Tornado'?"

"Not you, nitwit! Henderson is holding a kryptonite-infested roach he discovered in your kitchen!"

"Crap," thought Lois. "My secret stash to use in an emergency."

Henderson looked at her quizzically, debating whether to speak when the green cockroach turned red.

"Good thing my apartment exploded!"

"What?!" Four astonished faces turned toward the cockroach, who had suddenly spread its green wings.

"It's alive again?! Neat trick!"

Suddenly, Lois grabbed the critter and thrust it into Clark's pants pocket.

"What the hell Lois! I had no idea that you were so against me!" Clark wailed clutching his groin.

"What about children? Utopia??"

"Tempus made it sound boring, so I thought I'd just..."

"What?? Nuke my little swimmers?!"

"Lois! Clark! Stop this!" Perry commanded, pulling off Clark's trousers.

"What's with the spandex, CK?" asked Jimmy, eyeing Clark's legs.

"They're just my new longjohns."

"Your legs look like Superman's."

"Well, I've borrowed these from Superman to see if it is true that clothes make the man."

Lois rolled her eyes and snorted, "Nitwit!"

Clark wondered at everyone's galactic stupidity. Surely they weren't buying this garbage he was peddling?

"I wanna get outta here," he groaned, reaching for his trousers.

Forgetting Krypto-Cockroach in the pocket, he suddenly turned rainbow-colored and gasped, "No! My tie clashes with this opening transdimensional portal the cockroach has opened in the wall behind us! Help!"

"No getting out of this!" Perry asked, "What do you think is happening? Elvis never did this with Priscilla!"

"Hey!!!" Perry exclaimed as the cockroach hurtled towards the offending neckwear. The cockroach was a scary and Lois screamed as it passed in a psychedelic blur. It started chewing Clark's tie, then began choking on it. The brown chocolaty part of the tie was devoured by the creature.

"Noooo! Not coffee!!" it cried. "I wanted chocolate!"

"There you are!" exclaimed a familiar figure, exiting the portal.

It was Superman!

Clark's eyes bulged.

"Gotcha!" laughed the newcomer, as the bug super-sped towards him.

"What the Sam Hill is happening here? Superman, why are you wearing rainbow stockings? Why Clark's wearing your spandex?"

"I am Rainbow Cockroach Man!" he said, "Not Superman."

Clark gasped. "Are you from Cockroach-Utopia?"

"No! I'm Superman's descendant," he said. "I'm Clark Tempus Roach!"

"Don't forget me!" whined the cockroach, nuzzling up against Rainbow Man's cheek.

"Descendant?" stammered Clark. "You mean I'm... Papa Roach?"

"He said Superman's descendant, Clark, not yours," Jimmy pointed out.

"Er, right, of course," mumbled Clark, now recalling some mushrooms laden with Red K that Mayson put on his burger.

"Mr. *Clark*Roach? Sounds like CockRoach!"

"My parents were cruel," shrugged Clark, gritting his teeth at his namesake sitting before him.

"Why's your middle name... 'Tempus'?"

"Because Tempus is my father."

"Is Tempus... Superman's descendant too?"

"If I answered that then disruption of the Space-Time Continuum would spread throughout all of my groin affecting all subsequent descendants of mine, and Utopia would have fewer tv channels.

"My grandmother was a Murdoch... her father was named Rupert. His ex-wife's half-brother's second cousin is known as Fox! But that's really besides the point.

So let's get back to the portal and the cockroach and I'll bid you farewell."

Suddenly a stewardess-like person appeared.

"Chicken or beef?" she said, spraying kryptonite dust everywhere.

"Not the pink variety!" Rainbow (the waitress) had a malicious purpose: making Superman fall in Lois' collywobble cooking.

He gasped! "Not the meatloaf!" and fainted into the rumaki, where he suffered multiple toothpick-induced puncture wounds.

"Yum! Lobster Bisque!" Ralph cried. "I love sea-cockroach-entrails-floating-in-liquid! So crunchy!"

"Yuck! No wonder she's mad!"

"Who's mad? I'm confused!" moaned Superman, pulling skewers from his tushie.

"I need to solve..." gasped the dying superman.

"Dead!" exclaimed Perry, checking his pulse. "Where's - oops, I've stepped on- !" (Squissssh-crrrrunnnch!!!)

"Perry, let me!" Lois offered.

"Chicken or beef," Rainbow stewardess repeated, "Or tenderised cockroach?"

"We need to escape through the- "

"Hey, there's a White Rabbit!" interrupted Jimmy, peering into the abyss. "what's tempus doing kissing my tushie? Follow the rabbit!"

"Clark fly after the rabbit!"

"Fly??? Who am I, Superman?"

"Haven't you heard 'Gotta fly'?"

"Which Clark do you mean?"

"The live one!" muttered Ralph.

Lois grabbed Clark's hand and they tumbled down the rabbit-hole!

Then Clark (still tripping) saw Alice through the Looking Glass.

"Save her!" he cried. "She seems to be turning into ... Ralph? Am I on something?" groaned Clark, clutching his head.

"Hope that'll teach you, Clark!"

"I need to quit LSD."

"He thought he could fly," Perry snickered. "What's my Alice doing in the looking-glass? Come back to this hunk of Elvis-loving ol' Hound Dog, Dumplin'!"

"Perry, get a room, please!" Lois grinned. "Clark, why don't we get married tonight and get a room ourselves? That Cozy Motel'd be honeymoon heaven!"

"With the apartment burned, it will be like the Hilton!

"But a big wedding is

like Paris Hilton - too expensive

Ann

"I don't care!"

THE END


Start a new story!