Did I tell you that I hate August in Washington?
I mean, it's hot with all this stuff on; I better not do any, oh I dunno, LUNGES!
All right. Come on, dawgs, let's lift the sucker. Oh, unless you're scared. Little weaklings scared?
This is so good that I’m gonna go enjoy it on the balcony so that I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert.
Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.
<points at Carol>
I'm sorry. Do you have any extra pants? Umm, my friend seems to have had a little accident.
I'm doin' good, baby. How you doin'?
Oh! Oh-oh, the band’s ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band says—I don’t care about the stupid band!!
It's empty except for a little purple lamp. Can that stay?
You bought your sheets at a flea market? Come on, you gotta loosen the purse strings a little.
Yes. Yes, it is... In prison! What's the matter with you?
Let ME be a part of this!
Nah, crapped out, but Mr. 21 here cleans up 300 bucks, buys me this new pair of shoes. Sweet, huh?
You know what's not funny? Male Pattern Baldness.
That's cuz you're brand new, honey.
Oh! Oh! The usher must be right! What, with all that training they go through! Get out!
Oh no, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry is pretty much fourth, you know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married.
You were unable to consummate the marriage. Well, that makes sense since you’re gay and addicted to heroin.
I'm Santa's representative for all the Southern states. And Mexico!
I’m full, and yet I know if I stop eating this, I’ll regret it.
What's the matter? You never saw a 50-year-old stripper cry before?
Well, then, I guess I’m going to Yemen! I’m going to Yemen! When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you?