FDK: His Girl Lois 7/? - 05/09/06 06:40 PM
Marcy, I don't believe in corporal punishment, but I'll make an exception for your muse. If this is how she responds to threats and beatings, then you should beat her up more often. Because this is so lovely, you know:
Do you know how much I just love these images you put in my head? Yes, yes, I know I've told you before. But I mean it just as much every time I tell you. (Besides, didn't I make a god start of this FDK, quoting a not-so-small part of this rather short chapter?)
Then Lois told Clark a few words he really needed to hear - that he had been treating her like a child, trying to control her just like her father had, instead of living in a respectful, adult relationship with her. And then she started hitting him, delightfully demonstrating that she is not always perfectly mature and grown-up herself, and he had to catch her hands. And then this was so adorable:
Adorable, Marcy. Lois's physical gut reaction to Clark - oh, she will never, ever have one like that to Dan. Take it from me, Lois.
Well, she gets herself under control, and punishes him by thanking him for telling her about his secret and making it possible for her to have some closure, but she is still marrying Dan, thank you. But then Clark's reaction to that statement from her really startled me (and startled Lois too):
Well, that packed an emotional punch for me. And as I read on, the after-effect of that impact got just stronger and stronger:
Marcy, you took me completely by surprise by this. I had expected to laugh and smile at your story, not cry because of it. But those three paragraphs were so unexpected to me, and they hit me so hard emotionally, that I almost cried, too. Suddenly you made me feel so extremely sorry for this infuriating lunkhead, who had been treating his wife so inexcusably bad. Adding that part of how he suffered because of his most heartbreaking Superman rescues, and how he hadn't been able to talk to anyone at all about them, made this part of your story even more poignant to me.
Hmm, and then I guess your muse got tired of having things beaten out of her, and she just took off. That happens, and I hope she won't be on the run for too long, because I just have to see where you - and her - are taking this!
Ann
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Some microcosmic portion of her brain was jumping up and down screaming "I knew it!", but she was rejecting that portion currently in favor of the other Loises in her head. One of them was shredding a symbolic Clarkie bear into pieces while cursing, and another was scrambling desperately to search the "hard drive" for a snappy comeback, but failing in the attempt. Still another had fallen down in a heap, crying. All in all, there was a lot of chaos.
She shook herself, trying to convert the conflicting messages her brain was sending into one coherent message. Focusing back on the smug superhero before her, fortunately, served just that purpose, as all of her brainwaves merged into one tidal wave of anger.
She shook herself, trying to convert the conflicting messages her brain was sending into one coherent message. Focusing back on the smug superhero before her, fortunately, served just that purpose, as all of her brainwaves merged into one tidal wave of anger.
Then Lois told Clark a few words he really needed to hear - that he had been treating her like a child, trying to control her just like her father had, instead of living in a respectful, adult relationship with her. And then she started hitting him, delightfully demonstrating that she is not always perfectly mature and grown-up herself, and he had to catch her hands. And then this was so adorable:
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Clark grabbed her flailing arms, and held them firmly, but gently. Lois gave up, mesmerized as his intense brown eyes pierced her with one of his most pathetic, puppy dog stares. It was then she became aware of the close proximity of his body to hers.
She swallowed a lump in her throat, and her cheeks flushed. She wondered at the heat that came from his hands, which cradled her wrists. Butterflies swirled in her stomach, all of which just confused her more.
She swallowed a lump in her throat, and her cheeks flushed. She wondered at the heat that came from his hands, which cradled her wrists. Butterflies swirled in her stomach, all of which just confused her more.
Well, she gets herself under control, and punishes him by thanking him for telling her about his secret and making it possible for her to have some closure, but she is still marrying Dan, thank you. But then Clark's reaction to that statement from her really startled me (and startled Lois too):
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Some shock registered as she realized a single tear was falling down his cheek.
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Had she ever seen him shed tears before?
She searched for some stray memory to rise to the surface. Yes, now that she considered, he had before. Maybe on a rare occasion. On the night they had consummated their marriage.
Those had been jubilant tears,each one a testament to his love. And, of course, just a few. His eyes had watered as he told her it was the most beautiful moment in his life. That she made him feel whole, like he finally belonged somewhere. She had known that was important to him.
After his parents had died in a car accident four years ago, he must've felt very alone. She never realized how alone.
She searched for some stray memory to rise to the surface. Yes, now that she considered, he had before. Maybe on a rare occasion. On the night they had consummated their marriage.
Those had been jubilant tears,each one a testament to his love. And, of course, just a few. His eyes had watered as he told her it was the most beautiful moment in his life. That she made him feel whole, like he finally belonged somewhere. She had known that was important to him.
After his parents had died in a car accident four years ago, he must've felt very alone. She never realized how alone.
Hmm, and then I guess your muse got tired of having things beaten out of her, and she just took off. That happens, and I hope she won't be on the run for too long, because I just have to see where you - and her - are taking this!
Ann
I'm begging you. I'm not easily moved to tears and I can count on one hand how many movies of TV shows that have made me ball my eyes out. Still this really spoke to me and while I didn't cry I did feel that knot in my throat.
I appreciate everyone's comments so much, and I am bound and determined to finish this thing. I just hope someone is still wanting to read it when I finally do get it finished.