Set pre Lois and Clark dating, no specific time.

This is something that was a nugget in my mind for a while, and has been begging to be written. Every time I've sat to finish Aftershocks, I've ended up here. Hoping that I can now move past it! It's much shorter, and a bit darker, than something I'd usually write.

As always, feedback is welcome.

Story is here.

You simply cannot be serious. You are leaving us with this "cliffhanger?" Can a full story be extrapolated from this? Please, don't leave us "hanging...."

I like this snippet of a story. But as Supesfan said, you cannot seriously consider this finished, can you? So many questions left unanswered. How did Lois end up in the middle of nowhere? Will she survive?

Come back here!

No, seriously, this was touching, and angsty and great and I'd love to read more. But if this is all you give us, that's fine too. After all, it's your story.

Oh my goodness! Who could have taken Lois? Why? Also, why was she asking forgiveness? There are so many questions which are unanswered here. If your muse allows, please continue someday.

By the way, your descriptions were so powerful I was actually getting a little chilly!

Great story. I question only one thing - his decision to take her from Colorado all the way to Metropolis. If we had more context, like if Lois had been captured by Intergang West (or some other criminal or terrorist organization) and would know if she were admitted to a hospital west of the Mississippi, it would make sense.

In fact, that's the continuity in my head now. That's why he did it.

I want to know what she was doing that got her into trouble. I want to know why it took Clark - because even though he's wearing the Suit he's Clark at this point - so long to find her. (Large area to search, leaded decommissioned missile silos, all that notwithstanding.) I want to know why she went to Colorado in the first place - was she running from intimacy with Clark or chasing a story or on a vacation that got out of hand? I want to know whether or not that was her planned destination. I want to know how long she's been held and how long she was free and how she got away and how long she was hanging on that tree root. Be real nice to know why she thinks she needs his forgiveness - and if she's asking Clark or Superman for it.

Beautiful. Touching. Heartfelt. Evocative. This vignette is all those things and more. But it's not complete! This is like watching a trailer for a movie you really want to see because you have to know how the characters got from the start of the story to this place. I join the chorus for more! More! More! More!

Well, twist my rubber arm...

Thank you for all the wonderful feedback. Even as I was writing it, I was fighting the urge to make it more, wanting to try something short. However, it seems another portion pretty much wrote itself, and will be posted in due time.

Ooooh, intriguing!! I like the writing and am curious to see more!!

Great little story, so much A-plot there isn't room for it all. Cant wait for the rest of the story.

You left us THERE???? *faints*

Great little ficlet and I hope it blossoms into something a bit longer. I'm curious as to who took Lois and why. I would have expected some trap to be sprung on Clark when he rescued her. I need to know the bigger picture!

Thanks for sharing!

Oh wow!! That was fantastic!!! I mean… I’d love to see the rest of it, but I’m fine with just a little vignette revelation like this. VERY well written!

Hi Toomi!

Ah, I can see why you’re warning us about this being darker.

Eep!

Is she cursing? About a fiddly lock?

So, how did she get here? After all, this position must be relatively new.

Oh, this takes me back to Tim Zahn’s Heir to the Empire, when they needed special training to remove/collect some tree lizards without killing them.

Teeping?

Well done scene! Now, about the rest of this story?

Michael

Thanks for the feedback There is a sequel coming. I had to take a bit of a break from writing it...