Now here's something almost completely different!

I'm like Ralph in that I suffer from AS. And not everyone has sympathy for me since it's not something I can point to and say, "See? That right there - that's my AS injury." I know I've never seen a telethon raising funds to fight it.

This came to me as I was thinking about something quite different and demanded to be written down. I think Trope had the biggest hand in this one. She was quite insistent, too.

Enjoy. Or not. But do think about it.

Y'know what? I dig it. I'm wondering now how much of Ralph we actually saw in the show since he seems to get more fleshed out in fic, but at any rate, I like this take on him. And I'm glad that Perry was able to understand and try to work with him.

I read somewhere that being on the internet is like having AS since you're only seeing the text and not getting any clues from a person's tone or body language. Dunno how true that is.

Terry, thanks for sharing this.

An excellent story. You've succeeded in doing something I would have thought impossible... You managed to make Ralph not only a sympathetic character, but also one with which I very much can relate. Although I have never been officially diagnosed with the condition formerly known as AS (It is no longer recognized in the current DSM), I have no doubt in my mind that I have it. I learned about it when I was researching ASD (autism spectrum disorder) because of my son. It was a huge relief to realize that all of my odd quirks and challenges were something more than me just being a freak.

Thank you for a story which many will undoubtedly find informative and which I found all-too-familiar.

- Lynn

p.s.,Queenie, my own experience is that interacting via the Internet* is often easier than interacting in person, for several reasons:
- I find it easier to discern people's intent online, since emoticons are much clearer to interpret than nonverbal cues (tone of voice, facial expressions, etc.)
- I can take the time necessary to digest what is being communicated. IRL, I need an extra second or two to conclude that someone is being sarcastic.
- I don't have to worry about interrupting. I have a very difficult time joining in a group conversation because I can't get my timing right. Either I chime in too soon and wind up angering people because I am interrupting, or else I try to wait for an appropriate pause, in which case someone else starts speaking before I get a chance to. So I usually wind up spending my time just standing there listening to other people speak and nodding my head politely. I find interacting with more than one person at a time to be extremely draining.

*Excluding Zoom, Skype, etc.

I. Am. Staggered.

Seriously.

You managed to give Ralph an angle I've never once in my life seen, or even considered. Bravo! For the first time, I've found myself sympathetic to the character. I'm glad he and Perry could work something out in the end. Thank you for giving me something to ponder about Ralph. And for sharing a piece of your own personal life in the process.

Thank you for sharing this personal story, Terry. I'd agree with the others that this is a very interesting take on Ralph. It certainly makes him less one dimensional.




I wouldn't say that I have AS, but I can definitely relate to what you wrote, Lynn. In a group, I often find myself listening all the time and rarely saying a word. In my case, I'd say it's mostly because I'm shy. But I know how frustrating it is to never actually feel like a part of the group.

Well, Terry, I am in awe, amazed, and flabbergasted.

Not only did I feel sympathy for Ralph, I actually had tears in my eyes at the end of this story. Thank you so much for sharing your personal story and insight, and for giving depth and character to Ralph. You turned him from an annoying one-dimensional caricature into a three-dimensional person with real pain and reasons for his behavior. Something I thought impossible until I read this story.

Beautifully and tenderly done!!

That was a very nice story, pretty heartwarming. I really like seeing the Daily Planet from the perspective of a more minor character.

Hey Terry,
wow, what an amazing, thoughtfull Story!
Like the others said, your writing makes it possible to give Ralph a deepr personality and reasons for his behaviour I never would have considered. That's so fascinating. Plus sharing a personal Background always needs some Courage, too.
Thanks for this informative and interesting take on a character no one thought had deserved it.
PS I agree with Lynn and bakasi on the issue of talking in a Group with more People. I also often don't know when to speak, either I'm interupting someone or the Topic is over unless I come to say anyting. That can be quite frustrating, especially now in time of home-university learning. Plus, my inability so work with visual/Body communication doesn't help here. I'm also not a Party Person, my Hearing dificulties don't make that easier, too.. I often don't realize someone is talking to me and there are a lot of (acustical) misunderstanding and that's quite anoying for both parties.
So yes, comunication via Internet seems often easier.
And it's true that (willingly or not) People deal different with you wether they know your diaabilities or not. ctually see that a lot during my uni courses. Though it has to be said that, like everything in life, there are always two sided of the coin.

Thanks, Mary, you aspiring professional author you! Keep at it! I know you can do it! I want an autographed first edition of "Away With the Faeries!"

In my memory, Ralph appeared in only two episodes. The first when Clark left for New Krypton, and the second when Lois became editor in Perry's place. In the first ep he hit on Lois in a very sleazy way. In the second he tried to push a story based on rumor and innuendo and Lois killed the article. It just struck me that we - me included - use Ralph as a punching bag more than as an actual character, so I tried to come up with a reason for his actions. I appear to have found one.

Mary wrote:


It's very true. I once sent a co-worker what I thought was a kidding email and she got angry. I apologized immediately, but I thought it sounded like the inter-office banter everyone hears. I still do. And no, there were no sexual overtones or hints in this message. She couldn't see my charming smile or laughing eyes or the chuckle in my voice, just my words in the email. No physical clues available. She misunderstood, but it really was my fault.

Like you, Lynn, I'm self-diagnosed, but the people who know me well tell me I'm right. Don't know if that's a compliment or an insult - maybe a complisult? I'm now considered a "high-functioning autistic." There are times I don't feel very high-functioning.

DC, thank you for the - I guess it's "intensity" - of your response. It seems I hit a few nerves with this little flight of fancy. I can remember times I was shut out of the social circle in elementary school and I never understood why. Now I do. Still stings a bit, though.

Bakasi, thanks for the response. Just because a person has one or two of these characteristics does NOT mean that person has AS (sorry - is a "high-functioning autistic"). And I don't advise using it as any kind of excuse for rude or thoughtless behavior. I know I can't get away with it. There are many musicians and writers with what used to be AS. I think that's part of the reason they can function as well as they do in that limited environment.

Cuidadora, thank you for your kind words. I'm glad the story "popped" the way I hoped it would.

Thank you, TaliaJoy. The DP isn't just Clark and Lois and Perry and Jimmy (and sometimes Cat). There are dozens of reporters, far too many to give them deep backstories in a one-hour weekly series. That's why we have fanfic.

Thank you, BP. I shared a small part of my story because I wanted it to ring true to other AS FoLCs. If I were to write about someone with an amputated limb, I'd have to do tons of research to figure out what challenges that person would face and how hard the recovery would be. I'd already done the research for this story - most of my life.

Thank you all so very much.

Hello all,

I just returned home after a couple of months at my mother's house, so I was able to do a quick computer search of all of the scripts. Ralph appeared in the following episodes: "Stop the Presses," "Lord of the Flys," and "Twas the Night Before Mxymas." He was also mentioned by name (but did not appear) in "Shadow of a Doubt." That's it. When I had conducted a similar search while doing research for my story Sic Transit Ralph's Pagoda, it had really surprised me that he showed up so infrequently. He certainly made his presence known.

Terry, "Complisuit"? A useful portmanteau. Shake hands, fellow self-diagnosed HFA-ie. I'm sorry to hear that you sometimes don't feel very high functioning. Let me assure you, however, that you most definitely are. You can hold down a job. You can speak. I think it safe to assume that you can take care of your basic personal hygiene needs. These are all far beyond my son's capabilities. Two of the myriad of things my son has taught me over the years are not to take for granted any abilities, and always focus on the part of the glass that contains liquid.

That sounds all too familiar...

I would throw in computer programmers and teachers (both of which I have been). The former leans heavily on logic and requires somewhat less social interaction than many jobs (albeit more interaction than non-programmers might suspect). I especially enjoy teaching in part because conversations are largely scripted/predictable, and it is clear whose turn it is to speak. It is far easier to pass as neurotypical in such a controlled environment.

Hey Terry


This was a great tale and very intriguing to give a different perspective to Ralph's behavior throughout the series. Very well handled and loved the way you handled Perry asking questions and having the candid conversation with Ralph about his concerns. Something I'm sure not many employers would feel comfortable doing, but Perry handled it very well in this tale.

Lynn, it's true that programmers (I are one - oops, syntax error, build failed - I am one) don't socialize as much as other professions, but we still have to deal with users and managers. So yeah, there's some social interaction.

I cannot recall the story, but someone wrote a vignette giving Ralph the last name of Spagoda because Ralph's Pagoda was named in "Honeymoon in Metropolis." Clark puts Lois and her dyspeptic tummy on the couch as she names the restaurant and says she shouldn't have ordered sushi from it.

Folc4, thanks for the kind words. I've often wished that someone had diagnosed my condition way back when, but we can't rewrite our own pasts, just our characters'. I've often wished for a boss who was that compassionate.

I'm glad this found an audience. Thank you all.

And Terry, as one programmer to another, you just revealed you're not currently programming in Perl, html or php. (None of those do builds.) No doing Unreal Blueprints either, (different error strings) Anything C based is still on the list of possibles.

@Terry: That was Classicalas "A New Hero". She asked the boards what his last Name was and someone answered jokingly "Spagoda". And she decided to run with it as a funny note. I remember VirginiaR using it as well in "Wrong clark", and I believe you had used it yourself in your Lord of the Rings-Tale.

@Dandello: I currently work in COBOL (yes, I'm a dinosaur) and both Microsoft and Athena SQL (on AWS). I have done some HTML for my own use, but nothing professionally. Oh, VB.net on BIDS for MSSQL 2008R2 creates a build. Sorry, no Perl or php so far. I'm having enough "fun" learning Python at my age. I still don't understand why Python doesn't do substrings instead of "sclicing" strings to get subvalues.

BP, I had totally forgotten about using Ralph Spagoda in my tale The Fellowship of the Fanfic (shameless plug). Thank you for the reminder.

Lynn, thanks for looking up Ralph's appearances in canon. I'll have to re-watch those eps to see him again. He's such good comic relief.

Hi Terry, I just wanted to say thank you for this delight. It was so insightful and very interesting to read. It was great to give Ralph a new angle and it was interesting to see Perry's reaction and thoughts. I have a couple of team members who are on the autistic spectrum but thankfully have never received any formal complaints. I feel for both Ralph and Perry in this.

Thank you for sharing.

I'm a retired programmer.

How do you tell a extroverted programmer. They look at your shoes when talking to you.

DCarson, Thank you for the belly laugh.

A (less-relevant-to-this-story) programmer joke that I have enjoyed for decades: Did you hear about the computer programmer who refused to come out of the shower? Apparently, his shampoo bottle's instructions said, "Lather. Rinse. Repeat."

Lynn, I've heard that one told about musicians who are slaved to the sheet music on the stand. And the chemist and the physicist and a bunch of others. But it's still good for a chuckle.

dcarson, I'm looking forward to retirement myself. More time to read and watch TV and movies and go to the senior center to exercise.

SimplyLnC, thank you for your kind words. AS people do well (as Lynn pointed out above) in jobs that are structured and fairly well scheduled. I know, programmers are either twiddling their thumbs waiting for the next assignment or drowning in production problems and looming deadlines and VPs who want stuff done Right Now! But it's better than door-to-door sales. I tried that when I was much younger and did not succeed.

I also want to thank everyone for reading, and especially everyone who has commented. Makes this old coder (I remember AutoCode on the IBM 1400 series!) feel kinda WAFFy.

Terry,

What a great fic!

My little cousin (he's 30) has AS. He is a great kid, who loves his video games, comic books and online friends. For him, without the internet, I doubt he'd have any interaction with anyone besides family. His school gave up on him (he wasn't diagnosed until his mom suffered a stroke and he couldn't remember to eat regularly, though we knew he was struggling with something from an early age), he couldn't get past an interview, and lives in a group home setting so he can be safe.

I've managed and trained people for 20 years, and thanks to my cousin, I've had my eyes opened to differently abled people, with different methods of learning.

Your fic hit me in all the feels. Thanks for a different, and eye opening take, on a common misconception.

Terry!

What a wonderful take on Ralph! Well-written, of course. Thanks for sharing part of yourself and for giving us an alternative view of Ralph. (After reading this comment thread… it IS a bit odd how much we like to rag on Ralph considering how little he’s shown up in the show.)

Sara

Very late to this one, but as a fellow aspie, thank you took me 40 years to work out why I hid in corners, freaked out at noise and either couldn't carry a conversation in a bucket, or acted so hyper-enthusiastic I sounded drunk. Doesn't help that most people still think women can't be autistic

Hi Terry,

I still have quite a backlog, but luckily, Bean22 popped this one back up

OOooh!, those are always fun. What did Lois do this time?

I don’t know that colloquialism and it’s fun to just make stuff up, so, it’s either Clark’s a seven and Lois an eleven—

LOIS: You bet I’m twice as good as Clark!

-- anyway, it’s either that or because Lois and Clark work from seven a.m. to eleven p.m.

I can’t believe the amount of competence on display here! So rarely seen in fictional bureaucracy. Also, I just realized, that’s “bureau” and “crazy” right in there. I wonder if that’s intentional or just lucky happenstance.

An illegal puppy mill? Another term I would need to look up, so… let’s see. I’m going with a facility that grinds up puppies. And “illegal” means there’s also legal ones? Like those factories that make insect protein powder by grinding up mealworms and locusts?

So, what happened really? Because that doesn’t sound like something the teacher should be mad about. Unless Ralphs interrupting the class.

About tall green women with a severe lack of complexity?

You’re working really hard to make Ralph sympathetic. I’m wondering about the endgame.

One wonders how much todays workplace would have some HR rule about persons with social disabilities. Because this sounds like he’s on the spectrum.

You’re really working on de-joking him. Of course if he’s a joke, then what’s the person who hired him? Only thing that remains is Ralph’s drunken hitting on Lois during the S4 holiday episode. Hmm…just how drunk was he before the timeloop started…

Oh you went there completely. Didn’t think it would be this explicit

Ralph’s explanation was a great write up. I do remember the first time AS came up for me was with one of the lawyers in Boston Legal.

And here we go again with the inappropriate remarks

Oh wow, it’s set in Season 5!

So, that was a great piece, Terry! I so did not expect it to be this deep from the title.

/goes on to check the FDK/

Oh, yes. I see. Wonderful write-up! Thanks for sharing!

I also never realized how many FoLCs here are programmers. It's eerie. Good thing I never wanted to do computer stuff in a fic half-chumped. The liberties you get on TV regarding computers is just staggering.

Michael

Hey, new feedback for an old(er) story. Wow!

KSaraSara, I apologize for not responding earlier. Your kind words are most welcome.

Bean22, thanks for the kudos. Yes, women can be autistic. My younger daughter lands on the spectrum near my marker. She's learned to handle it, but it's still something of a strain for her. Just like it still is for me.

Hi, Michael!

The "seven or eleven" is from a dice game called craps. At certain times in the game, they are the desired numbers to roll because you win. At other times, those numbers make you lose. It's a tiny bit like Dragon Poker.

The "competence" shown in Perry's call to HR reflects the attitudes of the better companies for whom I've worked in my career. Not all of them were this careful.

An "illegal puppy mill" is an enterprise for breeding dogs without regard to their health or welfare only to sell the puppies as quickly as possible for the highest price possible. They're illegal because they violate the animal cruelty acts that all fifty states have enacted. A lot of fighting dogs are bred in mills.

It happened to me, like everything else Ralph tells Perry. Like I noted above, I've been researching this story all my life.

Was
really inappropriate? It certainly drove home the point, that there are aspects of everyone's personality or physical presence that can't be altered easily. For example, I'm 6'4" and broad-shouldered, and I have intimidated a number of people without any intent to do so. I usually feel bad about it.

That's very true. I laughed at "Virtually Destroyed" when it came out, but now it's just about possible with the immersive game systems on the market.

And about so many of us being (or having been) programmers? Writing is usually a solo activity (Argh! Don't glance at Annie and Kathy!) as is writing code. We have to deal with people to find out what's needed and to get our tests validated, but between those two points there is a great deal of "thinking all by myself" time.

Thanks for reading! Bye for now.

Hi Terry!

Thanks for explaining stuff!

Yeah, backtracking it from the FDK thread, makes perfect sense. Except the teacher. It does remind me of a story about Carl Gauß who (re-)discovered the Gauß sum formula n*(n+1)/2 as a nine-year-old in math class. His teacher was not amused when he was done summing up 1..100 without taking hours to do it.

In today's workplace, at least as portrayed in television (and sometimes news articles about PC culture in corporations), yeah, some things you don't mention or it can be considered sexual harassment. I guess, probably anything that's subjective is taboo these days and since attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder, that one's out. So yes, in today's workplace, Lois could probably get offended by being remarked on as being attractive, and win the associated lawsuit. Of course, in 1998, yeah, that one would be fine.

That's true. Of course, there's pair programming when you're a) inclined to and b) lucky enough to be able to do it regularly at work and at this point, my colleagues are quite unhappy if they have to strike out alone instead of having social interactions. So, yeah, for me coding has lost the lonesome-nerd stereotype a long time ago. But I totally get it (and fall into it often enough, too )

Michael

About ten years ago, our annual anti-harassment training added something new: Don't comment on anyone's clothing, even to compliment them. According to the training, saying that you like a student's t-shirt means you were looking at an area that you shouldn't have been. Of course, we also received training that stated that part of our jobs as community college-level instructors was to better prepare the students for the workplace in non-content-area ways, including letting them know when their attire would not be deemed professional. Go figure. I'm so glad I'm retired and only teach an occasional class as an adjunct now.


- Lynn

which is why you end up with Powerpoint presentations of mannequins in proper business attire. plus perhaps one or two for the classroom. Then, each student should come forward, dress the mannequin in clothing they would think appropriate for the workplace and the teacher could evaluate in a safe space. Also, there's always paperdolls

And on a sadder subject - what do you do when someone accidentally has their fly open (happens more often than you'd think). Or a fresh sauce stain on their shirt they're not aware of, etc. When you're a good observer, you notice these irregularities automatically because mental pattern matching just triggers on the discrepancy. It's like Sherlock Holmes when he just knows how many steps lead up to a door. Today's workplace is certainly perfect for people who do not communicate ever. Best to go apply Japanese honeycomb hotel architecture also to the workplace. Each office building consists of a honeycomb of compartments and employees enter their own personal office from the outside. There's no contact to other human beings. By adding staggered start-times, you can even avoid contact with your compartment neighbors. Perfect! Of course, you could just do teleworking Sorry the rant.

But can you imagine today's regulations getting applied to our favorite newsroom? Maybe actually when Lex buys the Planet as a part of the LexCorp corporate workspace safety regulations.

Michael

Michael, don't give my old workplace any ideas!

Be well,
Lynn