And why this never seemed to happen to Clark she’d never know. He was Superman’s best friend. He was the one who got the first story on the man, and he even lent him his washing machine from time to time.

It was a conspiracy. They didn’t kidnap him because he wasn’t a woman. A lot of these guys hadn’t been near any women except for their mothers in years. They just wanted to have a woman to strut and brag in front of, as though the first thing she was going to do when she got free wasn’t to educate them in feminine empowerment, using techniques taught at Dan’s Dojo.