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Posted By: Endelda FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 05/13/19 08:32 PM
Howdy, thanks for reading! grin
Posted By: jackiek Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 05/13/19 09:23 PM
Very cute! What a sweet ending.
Posted By: Endelda Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 05/13/19 10:01 PM
Thanks Jackie!
Brava!clap This was excellent! The whole bit at the Mended Drum (ha! XD) had a very Pratchetty rhythm to it; all that was missing was the footnotes! laugh

Not sure how I feel about the ending, though. I mean, it's sweet and all, but don't they need that thing? o_O
Posted By: Endelda Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 05/13/19 11:30 PM
Thanks Queenie, I was hoping someone would mention my humble shout-out to Sir Pterry! I wish I had the ability (and the nerve) to write an actual crossover, but small love notes to the Disc will have to do.

A lot of married folks I know have a decorative marriage certificate to frame, with all the calligraphy and curlicues that a romantic heart could wish for, while the official one is filed with the county clerk.

The certificate on the desk in Lethal Weapon appears to be a little less 'frilly', but I'm still assuming that the official one is on file somewhere and the one in the townhouse is a copy.
Ah, that makes more sense, then. ^_^

...(then again, methinks there is story potential if Lois and Clark need to prove they're married and can't find the paperwork...)
Posted By: folc4evernaday Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 05/14/19 01:20 AM
rotflol E, this was so adorable and cute! I love it! Happy to help with the dialogue! hyper Great job!
Posted By: Endelda Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 05/14/19 01:35 AM
Thanks Val, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Adorable and cute were the targets I was aiming for, so yay!
Posted By: Crazy_Babe Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 05/14/19 02:24 AM
rotflol Classic! Made me laugh so hard I’m ready to cough up a lung (colds and laughing do not mix)
Posted By: JellyS2 Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 05/14/19 02:38 AM
Drunk Lois is always fun!

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Any attempt at picking out her heartbeat was thwarted by the skull rattling volume of what Clark assumed must be music. Judging from the enthusiasm of the dancers on the floor it was popular, but he could have sworn the drummer was just energetically slamming rocks together.
= me some 80% of the time, well, minus trying to pick out a heart beat. wink
Posted By: Endelda Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 05/14/19 03:24 AM
Thanks Crazy_Babe, I'm glad it made you laugh (although I now feel vaguely guilty about the state of your lungs)! I hope you feel better soon!
Posted By: Endelda Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 05/14/19 03:26 AM
Thanks Jelly, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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...he could have sworn the drummer was just energetically slamming rocks together.

I've played with that drummer. He only had one volume setting - Animal from The Muppets ("Animal beat drums! Haaaahhh!"). See him in action here.

Very funny. I'm not as big a fan of drunkenness as some of the others are - my father-in-law died an alcoholic in the back bedroom of his house and nobody looked for him for almost a week. It was tough on my wife and her sister. But that's just me and my way of seeing things. You presented Lois as a (mostly) funny drunk whose insecurities snuck up on her while her defenses were down. And it's a good thing Clark didn't need to use his heat vision in the bar - he might have set fire to the whole place.

Overall, this was an enjoyable read. I like seeing little personal snippets into the married life of Clark and Lois. And I really like the ending. I'm sure Lois willingly drank a big glass of water and went to bed to sleep it off.

I'm guessing Lois never found a band-aid.

You're an excellent writer. Keep up the great work!

Posted By: Endelda Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 05/14/19 07:29 PM
Thanks for reading, Terry!

I'm sorry to hear about your family's experiences with your father-in-law, but I hope your wife and sister-in-law are doing well these days. I'm lucky enough to have a generation or two between myself and my alcoholic relatives, and mostly just remember a lot of scary shouting and behavior that just seemed weird and confusing to a small child.

I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and you're right - she never found that band-aid goofy

I'm working on something a bit longer (that's not related to this story at all); it's slow going, but I'm determined not to give up!
Posted By: Deadly Chakram Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 05/15/19 02:54 AM
Bwhahahahaha! I LOVE IT! SO much better than I ever imagined it would be when you mentioned the prompt to me. Excellent job! I'd quote my favorite hilarious descriptions, but that would be the entire story.

Thank you, for making that prompt a reality!
Posted By: Endelda Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 05/15/19 02:58 AM
Hi Vicki! I'm blushing so hard right now grin

I'm so glad you liked it, I had you in the back of my head the whole time I was writing it!

Thanks for helping with the initial 'fleshing out' session, you planted some seeds for story direction that turned out to germinate some pretty good roots!
Posted By: cuidadora Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 05/15/19 05:59 PM
Well-written, with a plausible reason Lois became intoxicated since she (may) think the drinks are low in alcohol content. As others mentioned, it's cute and funny. Nicely done.
Posted By: Morgana Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 05/15/19 06:11 PM
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Any attempt at picking out her heartbeat was thwarted by the skull rattling volume of what Clark assumed must be music. Judging from the enthusiasm of the dancers on the floor it was popular, but he could have sworn the drummer was just energetically slamming rocks together.

Sounds like a couple of discos I visited back in the eighties...
Posted By: Endelda Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 05/15/19 07:51 PM
Thanks Cuidadora, I'm glad you enjoyed it smile
Posted By: Endelda Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 05/15/19 07:56 PM
Hi Morgana!

Same here, back when I was younger and more willing to risk deafness for a possible good time lol

Thanks for reading![Linked Image]
Posted By: Darth Michael Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 06/09/19 04:29 PM
Hi Endelda!

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No Receipt, No Return
Hmm…what’s the most outrages idea? Oh, yes. Clark can’t return the Lois clone because he doesn’t have the receipt for Lex’s wedding present to him. That, and he’s already ripped open the packaging.

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Lois hung up and placed a quick call to the restaurant to authorize Bobby’s meal,
Wonder if they have a special meal code for that.

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then hopped off the couch to go upstairs and change into something more appropriate for her meeting.
Hmm…stripper?

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She’d been trying to be better about checking the water level since she and Clark had gotten married a few months ago,
So, leaving a note?

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have Spike meet me there if you beat me home.
jawdrop I was right about her outfit?

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They had a standing order with Costmart for replacement bar furniture after the nightly brawl,
rotflol

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Clark nodded his thanks and turned his attention back to his spouse. He nudged her shoulder “Angel!”
So, she got drugged? Or did her source just not turn up and she got slushed for some unknown reason?

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and he’ll have a Kryptonite!” she chirped.

“I’ll have a what?” Her husband sputtered.

She grinned at him over her shoulder. “You’ll love it, it tastes really tropical!”
laugh Let me guess, green.

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He watched the bartender with a wary eye as the man cracked a small green glow-stick, then dropped it and a scoop of ice into a highball glass which he proceeded to fill with generous helpings of spiced rum, coconut rum, melon liqueur, and pineapple juice, before topping the concoction off with 151 proof rum.
clap Strong enough to fell a super man, huh?

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“You mean our honeymoon plans, right? Not the actual honeymoon? I don’t remember a lot of rum or fruit juice in my apartment.”

Lois gasped, then turned her head and nipped at his earlobe as she snaked her arms around him to seize a generous double handful of his behind.
shock Did she get switched, again?

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She staggered and hit their roll-top desk hard enough to knock a frame off the top. A sob burst out of her as Lois looked down to see what had fallen and saw her marriage certificate on the floor, surrounded by bits of its frame and shards of broken glass. The precious document was creased on the corner that had hit the floor first, and she cut her finger as she fished the paper out of the mess. Now weeping openly, she carried the certificate into the kitchen in search of a glass of water and a band-aid.
So long as she doesn’t water it. Although I did kind of expect to have that greasy roll of protest to make a violent re-appearance while she was bending over to pick up the mess.

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He paused for a moment as he heard a sniffle and the scratch of a match being struck, then rose up onto his knees and looked over her shoulder. He froze in horror.

“Lois!” he half-shouted. “What are you doing?”
She’s not trying to burn the marriage certificate, is she?

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“I know you want out, but too bad, buddy! I love you, and I’m not letting you go—” the paper started to catch, “—and good luck trying to return me without the receipt!”
shock I did not see that one coming. Also, hilarious but I wonder if someone should tell Lois that that’s not actually the receipt but the ownership contract.

Drunk Lois can be a lot of fun clap

wave Michael
Posted By: Endelda Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 06/10/19 03:50 AM
Hi Michael!

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jawdrop I was right about her outfit?

Well... that's as close as Lois gets to a stripper without getting veils involved, so yes wink

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So, she got drugged? Or did her source just not turn up and she got slushed for some unknown reason?

I think she had some unwarranted faith in the caffeine in those cocktails she was drinking while she waited.

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laugh Let me guess, green.

But of course! goofy

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shock Did she get switched, again?

Nah, just a bit swozzled and within grabbing distance of a handsome flirty husband [Linked Image]

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I did kind of expect to have that greasy roll of protest to make a violent re-appearance while she was bending over to pick up the mess.

I'm so glad that didn't occur to me when I was writing it! lol sick

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She’s not trying to burn the marriage certificate, is she?


Did you peek? [Linked Image]

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shock I did not see that one coming

[Linked Image] I'll count that as a win, you're a hard man to surprise!

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I wonder if someone should tell Lois that that’s not actually the receipt but the ownership contract.

Go ahead, I dare you rotflol

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Drunk Lois can be a lot of fun clap

Yes, I enjoyed getting into her boozy, fuzzy head quite a lot grin
Posted By: Darth Michael Re: FDK - No Receipt, No Return (1/1) - 06/10/19 02:30 PM
Hi Endelda!

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I'm so glad that didn't occur to me when I was writing it!
Would have taken care of destroying that certificate, now would it?

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Did you peek? /doesn't trust the poor reader/
Nope. Just my natural evilness peeking through.

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I'll count that as a win, you're a hard man to surprise!
Why, thank you smile1 And clap to winning laugh

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Go ahead, I dare you
[Linked Image]
LOIS: [Linked Image]

And no, I sadly don't have the right mindset right now to come up with a true plot bunny for this.

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Yes, I enjoyed getting into her boozy, fuzzy head quite a lot
[Linked Image]
SUPERMAN: So, now I have to watch out for drugged and/or drunk Lois instead of just drugged Lois?
CLARK: Oh shut it. Drugged Lois only ever went after me, so you're perfectly safe. Come to think of it, drunk Lois also usually goes after me.

wave Michael
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