Dave, Davey, sweetie, honey, etc etc... two words.

You posted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And an extra one... FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and really, the way you started off;

...sucked me in straight away

And then here, what a total sucker punch;

Oh, Lois!! Don't say yes! Don't!

And then this is so brilliant;

Really, just darned perfect

And Dave! Davey! Honey! What a cruel place to stop Proud of you And trust me I wouldn't be saying that if I had to wait to read the next piece! [second piece of smuggery, see, not doing too badly ]

Love this first part. Love it, love it, love it. And only gets better from here... [third piece! *claps self on the back*]

Till next time

Sara.

I'm speechless!

Awed.

And speechless!

What an amazing beginning. Sparse and immediate and tense and... and... man, lots of other things I just can't wrap the words around.

Love him hearing Lois save herself. That was my favorite line. Lois washing away the bride. Hearing Clark through the door- his concentration, seeing her door and only that. And then he falls through in the cape. Well... I'm speechless! And a tiny bit in love with your muse, David. Maybe lots more than a tiny bit, but I don't want to scare you off.

More soon, ok? Really soon. I mean, if it's all written you could just pour it all out now, right??

CC

Wonderful, I'm hooked!

~Liz

I ...speechless !

That was fantastic! Original! Breathtaking! I think I need to find a place in my top five favorite Authors.

{edited}And I need to read Echo. Definitely..Just read it. Wow, powerful.

And my take on CCMalo's quibble...

I have to disagree. The way David wrote it was what made it sooo good, for me. I felt driven to keep reading. It hightened the emotion for me. I liked it. shrug.


James

I haven't read a L&C fic in a while, but I heard some buzz about this one and the premise description hooked me instantly. What a fabulous, creative, clever idea ... I can't believe no one else has thought of it, but I'm so glad you did!

Basically, you could just take everything CC wrote up there ahead of me and paste it here. I'm in awe. I love your style. I love your story telling and the emotions and intensity of it all.

I'm reminded once again why I don't normally read in parts, because, believe me, if I knew where you lived, I'd be shimmying up the drainpipe to sneak my way into your hard drive.

Is there a posting schedule on this one? Is it finished? Dare I hope that I'll only have to wait three more days to get the final three parts?

More, please. Soon. Sooner than soon. *Now* would be, like, just perfect.

Kathy

Oh wow!!! David, that first part is *amazing*!!! I kept thinking you couldn't top the level of tension, but you still succeeded, especially with those last few lines. Can't wait for the next part!!

Kaethel

What??!

Clark's tangled in a heap on the doorstep, and you leave me there?!

Jen

Hi,

Like it!

Oh, yeah! This is GOOD!!!

This is good...real good!

Excellent beginning. This is the first fic I'm reading in real time on the boards, and I look forward to the rest. Very well depicted, and what an interesting premise. Can't believe it'll only be four parts, but you have me hooked.

(Moving my comment over to here as it seems to have developed as the main comments folder. )

You know a story is a good one when you get duplicate comments folders. I'll choose this one for no particular reason.

Well, I had to go check this out after reading the comments. LOL'd at the author's notes before I even started - I just love your sense of humour, David.

And I really, really loved this. I enjoyed the sparseness of the style. Much as I love a ton of indepth introspection in a story (and you know I do ), it's nice now and then to read something like this. I thought the amount of information you portrayed was just the right note. Very effective and with a rhythm to the reading that flowed beautifully. Almost poetic. Definitely lyrical. It's a style all your own and you should never change it. It works for you. And it works even better for the reader.

I have some small doubts as to whether it's a style that can be sustained over more than a vignette and into four segments. But if anyone can pull it off, I think it's you. I'm definitely interested in seeing it anyway.

Too many wonderful little moments to pick out, but I'm just such a fan of the way you put words together, David. You tell a wonderful story, the plots are intriguing and the characters are the ones I love. But beyond all of that, you give us an extra bonus of words crafted just so for maximum impact that resonate in the mind long after they're read.

Post more soon!

LabRat

PS - I adore the title, too!

*ahem*

Wow! Thanks for the fdk

Sara - Only three pieces? Pfft :p

CC...

That's my favourite line too, so *thank you* for pointing it out

I had to be physically restrained from posting the rest after I'd read your fdk. Wow

James - I'm glad you liked it, and I'm glad you liked Echo too Driven to keep reading... that's what I was aiming for, yes, exactly

Kathy - I have buzz? Are you sure it was this story?

It *is* finished, but... well, let's just say it'll be getting a sequel

Lab - Don't be silly now, I love both my fdk threads equally

You've said the magic words... rhythm... hopefully you'll be able to remember that, because...

Me too

But we'll find out

Is there a Labrat fan club I can join?

Sara, CC, Liz, James, Kathy, Kae, Jen, Maria, Ethnica, Sheila, Incognito, Lab... thank you all so much. I'm glad you enjoyed part one... I just hope you don't hate me when it's over