FDK: Away From The Sun 3/You just don't love me, do you?

Hope you feel better soon

Here we go...

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"If he spoke to everybody who came storming in here, demanding to be seen, he'd have no time to run the city. Besides, if you cared to read the paper, you'd know that Mayor White is out of town. If you'd like, I can find you the address of a nice homeless shelter."

Oooh... ouch

Poor Lois. I bet being talked down to by some... cow doesn't help her trying to get back into the MDL mode after being terrified for so long.

You *really* like to make your readers feel, dontcha?

Pain?

Pain doesn't cover it!

Sadist

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She left, even more hopeless than she'd been the night before.

Oi. See above

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She'd shared everything with them, not just because they were her family, but because she hadn't had anyone else to tell.

Oi... again

That's some powerful imagery, Lois, alone, talking to a gravestone about her life. So much like our Lois, and yet so different. It really stresses how different she is. How unique. Her life story isn't the one we know. She's not the woman we know. A unique, fresh character. New. Exciting. Heart broken. Alone.

Sorry... I was writing before I managed to stumble across this

Anyway...

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Now, more than ever, she longed for the comfort of family. She crossed the threshold into the cemetery towards the only family she had left.

Aw...

That's really powerful. And it draws an amazing parallel between Lois and Clark. And... aw...

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And then she gasped in horror.

There was a fourth headstone.

Lois Lane. 1967-1993.

OMG!

That's how I reacted, just now, again.

What a kick to the gut...

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Forever etched in stone was the proof that Lois Lane no longer existed.

Wow. I actually have tears in my eyes.

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Being back in the solitude of her small, rented room now after wandering outside... it killed her that it was comfortable. Four walls keeping her enclosed. Familiar. Safer, somehow. They'd done that to her, made her...

Wow, Sara. Dammit, wow.

I'm not being very coherent tonight, but... wow. You've managed to convey so much in that. The way she is now. A shadow of who she was. Her resentment at herself for being that way. Her resentment at them for making her that way. Her despair

Just... thank God for her stomach!

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For a moment, she entertained the idea of staying dead.

I like that. Not the idea, obviously, but the fact that she thought of that. That she's not the gung-ho take no prisoners confident woman that we know. That we're tempted to equate her with. It's the subtle things like this that remind us that she's not our Lois. She's been through terrible ordeals and difficult trials. Maybe she's stronger for it. Maybe not. Either way it's a journey *you* make us want to take with her.

Lead on, El Capitahn!

^Bad accent

I haven't been able to stop to comment, but... MDL back on the case? Woo

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"Sir, the subject has arrived in Metropolis. She came in demanding to see the Mayor, just as you thought she would, sir."

"I trust you followed her?"

"Of course, sir. She's staying at the Apollo Motel. Shall I make the acquisition?"

Uh oh.

Make acquisition?

Sara!

That's just cruel, that blasted TBC!

Luckily, and yes, I'm gloating, I've got part 4

And... not 52? Not 52?!

Maybe... um... ok, about about in the 40s? The late 40s.

This part was... is... so powerful. So emotional. So wrenching. I truly, truly love it. Even the sinking feeling in the pit of my gut. The despair flowing through my veins. I feel sad, and I feel hopeless, and I feel... like I'm right there, with Lois. Every step of the way. And you've done that. And it's not a bad thing. It's a great thing. All I need is some waffy antidote. Maybe after every part you post you should post a link to a waffy story? Eh?

Or maybe I should?

... Am I allowed to?

David (Who hopes to be back with more comments later)

Eeep! Spotted!! /me sends Aragog after Johnson... And Boris for good measure

I like the imagery you create. Of a cleaner Metropolis and Lois, in direct contrast, not.

Poor Lois.

(I have the feeling I'm going to be saying a lot of this <G>)

/me wants some Clark action in part 4

Julie

Hi,

Great piece.

AH! I need more! Shoot!

Lois Lane on the case...love it!

~Lois Lane Wanna Be

David... how could I not love you? Especially after that feedback? And not to mention, you're always the first to post.

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I like that. Not the idea, obviously, but the fact that she thought of that. That she's not the gung-ho take no prisoners confident woman that we know. That we're tempted to equate her with. It's the subtle things like this that remind us that she's not our Lois. She's been through terrible ordeals and difficult trials. Maybe she's stronger for it. Maybe not. Either way it's a journey *you* make us want to take with her.

Oh, and I love you more for saying that.

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I like the imagery you create. Of a cleaner Metropolis and Lois, in direct contrast, not.

Thanks, Julie!!! And you might just get your wish for Clark stuff in part 4.

Thanks for waiting so patiently all throughout WYWG for this moment.

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AH! I need more! Shoot!

More coming up soon, Kelly!

Thanks for your feedback guys, I *really* appreciate it.

Sara

I can't believe I didn't post fdk for this part yet Sara!

Sorry!

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The woman was peering over a pair of those stupid reading glasses that Lois was sure she wore simply to make her *appear* intelligent.

(of course...it's just that...glare from the sun thats making my eyes water when I read this...yeah...you believe me don't you?)

Oh and isn't it interesting that you made references to the sun being too bright when you're talking about Clark and Lois? Or...maybe I'm crazy...

And just...aw! I really feel for Lois...and Clark too come to think of it..... I'd be lost without my family.

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She was dead. Well and truly dead. They'd buried her. Forever etched in stone was the proof that Lois Lane no longer existed.

You....Lois...she...aw!!!

I'd better stop quoting little bits or you'll end up with most of the part reposted in here.

I'll just have to say that I loved it. I'd love more...you did say there'd be more soon...

Whee!! Thanks, Jenni!!!

... but some are. I think the muse is just clever that way.

But now that you mention it... for the trailer, the title cards were wholly intentional... black with yellow glimmering words cutting through... I'm just saying.

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I'd better stop quoting little bits or you'll end up with most of the part reposted in here.

*cough* You've seen my comments, right?

Thanks for the feedback, Jenni!! Late or on time, I still love it just as much.

Sara (who's getting the post ready for part 4 right now...

)

Eek! I missed alot. Ok fdking all the parts I missed. <G> Hehe.

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The snippety woman sighed over-loudly and continued looking down her nose at Lois. The woman was peering over a pair of those stupid reading glasses that Lois was sure she wore simply to make her *appear* intelligent.

ACK! Stupid snobby people. Smack those glasses off her face! Grrrr

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Two rows in and four over. She looked for the three headstones that marked the home of her loved ones. Daddy. Mother. Lucy...

And then she gasped in horror.

There was a fourth headstone.

Lois Lane. 1967-1993.

*plays dramatic music*

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Dead.

Dead people didn't have homes. No friends. No job. No family. No life.

Now that she was finally back, what on Earth was she going to do?

Awwwwwww!!!

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She felt... dumb. Mad Dog Lane would have thought of all of this before. Heck, Mad Dog Lane would have found his apartment first, gone straight there and knocked on the door.

She'd written a letter instead. Letters were cowardly.

Hmph! She needs a ego boost. Send her on over. I'll cheer her up.

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"Sir, the subject has arrived in Metropolis. She came in demanding to see the Mayor, just as you thought she would, sir."

"I trust you followed her?"

"Of course, sir. She's staying at the Apollo Motel. Shall I make the acquisition?"

"No, not just yet, let her get comfortable. Watch her. We'll see what she does. Her family's dead and the only person she knows is Mayor White. It won't be a necessity until he's back in town. Let her think she's safe for now."

"Affirmative, sir."

"Good work, Johnson."

Ah, Crap! I knew there was something bad. Of course...not one, not two. But a zillion freaking things. You overangsty evil
person.

ARGH! Your evil, Sara.

Rach(Who is onto the next part, cause she was lazy

)