Hazel

Wow I really love this charcter. I agree that this has both humor and heart aching drama. This is a terrific story so far.

ROTFLMAO

Laura

Hazel got it before I did, but I'm still saying... ...that has got to be about the best closing line of an angsty story I've ever read in my whole life.

This whole segment was lighter, softer even, with that little touch of humor interspersed throughout, but you NAILED it right there with that line.

Damn....

TEEEEEEJ/in utter awe here

Hi,

So Beautiful!

Wow, just...........wow.

I *heart* Jake.

~Liz

Wow:
I love this part. I don't understand the street lights going out and coming back on behind them as they drive, though. In Part 1 I thought it was because Superman had kryptonite all over him and it caused some electrical field. But now he is Clark recovering his powers. If street lights went off and on while he drove, he wouldn't appear human at all and his cover would be blown.

Artemis

And do the lights have an explanation? Are there light-sensor lights that go on and off like that?

I was asked recently to respond to a Reader's Choice questionaire about LnC fanfic. One of the questions asked whether I thought there were any new angles, or had it all been written. I replied something to the effect that as long as people kept writing there would probably always be new ideas. Yours is one of those. I've read a lot of fanfic and am still doing so, and I don't remember coming across anything like this before. This is a wonderful story and I've already put it on my "keeper" list. Like the others have said, you have made Jake so real, and so likeable.

Not in Arlington, VA. I've lived there. They light the roads up in housing areas like football fields to deter criminals. In the totally rural areas there are no lights at all.

Artemis

This is so awesome. I have no words to describe it. *sniffle*



Speaking or words, I think you may have dropped one. His daughter's what? Imaginary friend? Imaginary cat? That Baxter sure does get around.

Well, as for the lights thing... I tried to explain it earlier when the phenomenon first occurred. Very first paragraph of the story:

The headlights on his rental car are misaligned and pointing up too much. Because of this, they are tricking the streetlamp sensors into thinking it is daytime, and they shut off momentarily until it goes dark again and the car has passed. I know for sure that this can happen because my car did it at one point and, good lord, it was quite annoying until I got it fixed.

For the most part Arlington is very well lit on the main roads. In residential areas it can get very, very, very dark, though. It really depends on where you are.

Anyway... this was mostly meant as a throwaway atmospheric thing, but at this point, I'm thinking of just taking it out since it's caused so much confusion, and I can't think of a good way to make it any clearer. I'll think on it some more. Any suggestions?


He was refering to his daughter's imaginary friend. This wasn't a missing word, per se, just a hidden/dropped subject as we often tend to do when we're speaking. Now that I read it so long after writing it, though, I can see where the confusion would generate. I will fix it.

Oh yeah, and from a previous part,

I'm not really sure on this. I have been considering bumping them up to five and seven, and then the death would have occurred at three and five because one of my BRs mentioned he thought Claire acted a little bit too old for six. I have a horrible time making these comparisons because I never babysit and tend to avoid children. My only reference point is a friend who hailed from a very similar situation, and I have no idea if she is the norm or not.


I personally see it as Clark not really feeling he's revealing all that much. Jake knows that he's got a kid and a wife already. Aside from revealing exactly who they are, the damage has really already been done.





Thank you so much for the feedback, y'all

Hmmmm:
Wow. Here in California the sensors are on top of the poles, so I would be impossible for misaligned headlights to trigger them. I admit I never drove that much around housing areas at night in Arlington, but I know in the city itself they never went off until daylight. This was with nearly continuous traffic all night. I lived in Crystal City near the Pentagon.
Yes, it is an atmospheric line, but if few people have experienced the phenomenon it's confusing without more explanation. I guess I was concentrating on a sick Superman and didn't pay attention to the misaligned headlights. Maybe add something like "my headlights are tripping the sensors again."
Thanks for explanation.
As for this:
I'd buy a six year old. I have memories from when I was 2 and I'm now ~~~```mumble. Well, old. If it's a traumatic event it will stick in some manner.

Artemis

I am loving this story and I can't wait for the last part. I'm curious to see how it will end. You are doing a magnificent job!

As far as the street lights go, I liked it. That part added a bit to the atmosphere. It is a tad confusing if you want to fix it up a bit, but I wouldn't take it out completely.

I also agree with the how Clark isn't revealing too much more. At least he doesn't think he is. In his mind, Jake already knows he has a wife and kids. That must mean he's a normal person. Short of flat-out telling him his name, there's not much more damage that could be done. But I wonder if in the last part you'll have Clark know that Jake knows everything. I guess I'll wait and see.

This is a great story! I haven't seen anything like it as long as I've been here. I have to admit, I was confused after watching the trailer, but I love it none the less. And the trailer makes sense now! I can't wait for the last part!

~Kristen

Crystal City and Rosslyn are only a teensy part of Arlington. Most of it is still very suburban and quiet off main transit routes, although it's starting to build up a lot in the Ballston area now, too.

I modeled my particular setting off the housing in and around Ashton Heights, if you were curious.

But you are right, the closer to DC you get, the more city-like things are. I personally find it amazing how much variation you can get in such a small area

My 7-year-old has memories from our previous house 3 years ago. My 5-year-old, who was 2 when we moved, does not.

I liked the street-light bit and was able to follow it. It was also significant in that it allowed Jake to detect and recognize the kryptonite.

This is a powerfully moving story and I have enjoyed it immensely. Thank you.

I've been quietly enjoying this story, and now I just have to jump in and say:

Wow.

Just wow.

This is so beautiful!!

YOU ROCK!!!!!

Sorry I can't think of a better way to say that at the moment.

Anywho, I personally like the athmospheric detail about the lights, and I had no problem understanding it at all until my father told me that streetlamps work on timers, not sensors. Maybe it's a regional thing?

Maybe instead of deleting it, you could just spell it out a little more clearly. Because I thought it was a really cool touch!


[Insert obligatory nag/plea here ]

If street lights worked on timers they wouldn't come on in the daytime during the rain, and there wouldn't be the occasional one that never turns off (dirty/dark sensor). I have seen examples of both of these instances. Perhaps some communities use timers and others uses sensors?

Thank you so much for all these comments I've been smiling all day!

Ona, I actually wonder if it might be a combination of both. Either way, I think what I might do is have just one streetlamp be out at a convenient time to reveal the kryptonite. I'm still debating, and probably will be up until I submit this to the archive

Thanks for your opinions on the kids, too. I had been wondering about that. I have memories from very young as well, particularly one where I lost a watering can to a nasty undertow in the Atlantic Ocean... My dad decided I was better to save than the can, though I was fairly miffed at the time That was when I was three.