Just starting this folder. Be back in a sec.

umm...freaking OUCH?? You hurt my heart. I mean it was kind of funny with this line...
...cause I was thinking, "yeah I volunteer!!" so you had me chuckling until you broadside me with the girls.

I thought it was so cute with... ...then you hit me with the simile... ...just...damn...

Bravo. Keep it coming.

TEEEJ/wishing there was an icon of subdued AWE to insert here

You brought tears to my eyes and I NEVER cry when I'm reading!

Lovely!

Irene

<no words>

Wow. Thanks.

Beautifully done. I really like this character and his two daughters. LAura

I've just started reading this tonight, and it's a real treat. It takes talent to make a character we don't know real to us; this is exceptional.

It's nice to see a new twist again. It's a breath of fresh air.

I wish I could write as well as you do!

Wonderful, and so sad *sob*

~Liz

Wow, anothe great, great part. Your style is really something else. Can`t wait for more.

Best wishes

sunshine

Hi,

Just read 2 and 3.

Wow. Just started this tonight. Great story.
Loved this:
This is an amazing story.

Artemis

Wow!! This is really powerful!

I, too, really like this man and his girls. He is so exhausted, just dealing with life after the loss of his wife, just trying to cope, and now he is coping with a situation so far outside of anything he's ever had to deal with...

I loved the subtle touches of humor, and how they are set up against the backdrop of Jake's quiet desperation. The true good samaritan is a man like Jake-- one who does what he has to do, regardless of the personal cost, not really because he wants to but because it's the right thing to do.

I'm looking forward to more!

~Toc

Diane

WOW! This is superb.

Tricia

I do enjoy weaving humor into anything I write, even the angsty tragic stuff -- I think it makes it more realistic and less bogged down in melodrama, plus it provides a sharper contrast between one emotional extreme and another, and you don't get subsequently drowned in one or the other. I'm glad a lot of you pointed out this effect seemed to work for you, because even if there wasn't a specific reason I wrote a little humor in, sometimes I just can't not make a joke


Thank you!!! One of my major problems bridging into original fiction is that I have always had troubles making up my own universe and characters. Plots, I'm great at coming up with (whether they're good is another argument altogether but at least I can come up with them at *all* ). Once I have a character and a universe to work with, I believe I'm good at playing within those boundaries and sometimes nudging the lines left or right. But it's actually coming up with a character and a universe that needed work, and in that respect, fanfiction is sometimes a crutch since you have those mostly ready made. That's another reason I'm so in love with critical feedback -- improving the things I'm weak at is my ultimate goal.

This story is a major, major turning point for me, because it is the first time I think I've managed to create a character that isn't a walking Mary Sue, solidly a cliche, or for a specific, but very narrow purpose in a larger work, and thus not very fleshed out. The only thing left now for me to start messing with is universes that I can actually lay claim to, but that's a ways down the road

Anyway, I am extremely glad you all are still enjoying this story I didn't have time to post part 4 before work this morning, but I should have it up by around 3:45-4:00 EST! Sorry for the little wait.